Page 12 of Hidden Plays (Desert Football #1)

SIX

HOLDEN

W as JJ keen on this date or not? How the hell had I gotten myself into this situation? I was fucking dedicated to my work, that’s how. I sat at my dinette, my laptop open to an assignment for my biomechanics class, staring at the text message conversation.

“What’s up?” Arden arched a brow while sitting across from me, also with an open laptop.

I rolled my lips. “So, you know the football player I had to go to the gay bar with so he’d listen to me?” This sounded more and more ridiculous.

“Yeah?” His mouth spread into a crooked smile. “This will be good, I can tell.” Planting his elbows on the table, he leaned in.

“He needed me to text him as a boyfriend to keep his roommates off his back.” I huffed a snicker. “But now he’s texting me back, and we’ve made plans for a second fake date. I don’t know if it’s real or not.”

“Dude, I’m sure it’s not real. You’re not gay, right?” He chewed his lower lip. “He knows you're straight, doesn’t he?”

But was I straight, though? Googling revealed the gay bar incident may not have been solely a reaction to external stimuli. And then the Reddit boards hadn’t helped. According to them, I was bi-curious for sure.

“Hello, Holden? Are you there?” He rapped on the table.

With a blink, I focused on him. “Yeah, I’m straight, and he knows it.” But did he though? If he knew I’d gotten hard on the dancefloor, he might very well think I’m bisexual. And the way our dicks were pressed together, he’d sure as hell felt it.

“So, if he wants the fake date, let him buy.” Arden gave me a sly grin.

“Yeah.” I offered a quick laugh. Except my conscience wouldn’t let me do that.

Arden lowered his brow. “Don’t let this guy mistake what you’re doing to be interest. He might use this to get close to you. Maybe he does like you?”

“What? Hell no. He hates me outside of this bullshit.” I sighed, rubbing my finger along the edge of my laptop. “He still thinks I sabotaged his junior year stats to get the MVP award.” Where was the fucking thing, anyway? Mom would have saved it somewhere.

“I don’t know, man. Just be careful.” He focused on his laptop screen and typed.

“I will.” I’d finish this damn assignment and then maybe call JJ. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be mad at me for calling.

A few hours later, I sat on our couch, watching the sports channel. Arden had gone out for the evening. It was a good time to check in with JJ. Plucking my phone and the remote from the coffee table, I paused the television and called JJ.

The phone rang once and picked up. “Hey, babe.”

Oh shit, he must be around his friends. “Hi, JJ.” I stared at the phone. Would he be able to talk? “What’s up with Postino’s on Thursday? I’m not really meeting you there, right?”

“Uh, hang on.” Footsteps clomped through the connection .

Another male voice said, “Where are you going? Do you need some sexy time with your new boyfriend?” Laughter came through the line.

“Very funny,” JJ said. “Okay, I can talk.”

“What’s up with Postino’s?” It couldn’t be another fake date. This thing had to end at some point. I inhaled deeply.

“No matter what, I have to go there and take photos of myself, so yes, meet me there.” He huffed.

I furrowed my brow. “How about using a server for photos?” Was Arden right? Did JJ, in his odd way, like me? But I had given him some confusing vibes at the gay bar. It might be good to clarify the situation with him on Thursday.

“Why not go with me, so I don’t look stupid being alone?”

“Okay, I’ll go.” I had nothing else to do on Thursday night, so we could stop this. Would it piss him off to end it, though? I didn’t want to hurt him. An ache floated through my heart.

“Wait, you’ll go?” His breath hitched. “Why?”

“Because you asked me to.” He didn’t need to know any more. I tipped my head back and stared at the ceiling fan centering the room. I’d keep it under control.

“Okay, great. I’ll see you at practice in the morning.” He snickered. “Keep the texts coming.”

“Sure.” I bit the side of my lip. Even if I were bi-curious, JJ was the last guy I should experiment with. We had too much history. Plus, I didn’t even want to know that part of myself.

“Bye.” JJ ended the call.

I dropped my phone onto the bed. Nope, when this ended, I’d go back to normal and forget any of this had happened. Did it make me homophobic? Fucking JJ. What the hell did he do to me?

The next evening, I finished my studies. Sitting at the dinette, I shut the laptop and scrubbed my face. The texts with JJ had been a little out of hand, but his performance in the gym and on the field had improved. So, my routine was working.

I picked up my phone, resting next to my laptop, and opened the text messages, reading through them again. I had to figure out how to end this on Thursday.

JJ

Good morning, sweetheart. Can’t wait to see you.

Holden

Me too. I dreamt about you all night, kissing you and holding you.

JJ

We need to have a sleepover.

Holden.

Too bad you have an away game, or I’d invite you to my place this weekend.

JJ

Next weekend, then? I can come over after the game.

Holden

Sure. Can’t wait.

I reread the last text. Fuck, if he showed that to his friends, would he ask to stay here next weekend? What the hell would I do with him, and how could I explain it to Arden? He’d think I was nuts.

My phone rang with a photo of my mom on the screen. I startled, blew a long breath, and answered. “Hey, Mom.”

“Holden, I was wondering if I’d ever hear from you.” She chuckled.

“Oh, sorry. I’ve been a little busy.” Having a fake boyfriend, a job and studying. Planting my elbow on the table, I rubbed my forehead.

“Too busy to talk to your mother. I see how you are.”

“No, it’s just…” Can’t tell her about JJ. “The training job with the football team is taking a lot of my time.” I slid my laptop away from me.

“How is it? Are you making an impact on the team?”

“Yeah.” She’d want to hear more about it, so I had to tell her about JJ.

“They assigned me to the offensive line, the wide receivers and the quarterback.” I stood and paced the room between the windows on either side of the door.

When would Arden be back? I glanced into the sunny courtyard of landscaping rocks and desert plants.

“Oh, good. I heard ASU has a great team this year,” she said. “Isn’t one of your high school teammates in the lineup?”

Bingo. Of course, she knew that. She sacrificed lucrative Friday bar shifts to watch every high school game. “Yes, Jordan Matthews is on the team, and he’s a wide receiver, so I’m training him.”

“Oh. You didn’t like him very much, from what I remember.”

“No, I didn’t. He’s…he’s a little better now. He’s less immature and cocky now. But it’s still in him.” How had the conversation turned to JJ? Would he ever leave my head? I stopped in front of the main room’s window, watching a quail family run across the rocks. “Hey, how’s Dad?”

“He’s the same. He’s been working longer hours since the quarter’s about to end.” She chuckled. “That man loves numbers.”

“Yeah, but it’s been good for us.” Having a dad in finance with a major company meant he knew how to make the family’s money stretch.

It also meant Mom could do the job she loved, which was bartending at the fancy bar at Eddy V’s in the Scottsdale Quarter.

She loved her happy hour regulars, and they tipped her well. “Desert Solar’s stock is up.”

“I heard. Your father tells me at least a few times a week how the stock is doing.” She sighed. “I know nothing about stocks, nor do I care to.”

If something happened to Dad, what would happen to their investments? I stepped to the couch and settled at the end. “Well, I’m sure Dad has it handled.”

“Speaking of which. Do you know what your brother did?” She scoffed.

My chest clenched. “Get another DUI?” He was two years older than me, but acted like a teenager. The guy was still paying for the first DUI he had a few years ago.

“No, but he came to your father, begging for money. He owes his roommate two months of rent, and he’s about to be kicked out of his apartment.”

Rolling my eyes, I said, “The guy makes good money in construction. How the hell can he not pay his rent?” Probably spent all his money on booze and drugs.

“No idea.” Her voice lowered. “I’m worried about him. Do you think he’s an alcoholic?”

“I don’t know.” I hadn’t seen him since the family was together last Easter. He’d gotten shitfaced though and passed out on the couch by five. I gritted my teeth. “Yeah, he might be.”

“Your father is going to give him the money.” She huffed.

“You know that’s only enabling him, right?” I pursed my lips. Dad was a softy for both of us. But Noel took advantage of it.

“Thank God we never had to worry about you,” she said. “You never gave us any trouble. It’s too bad you were?—”

“I know. Let’s not rehash it. It’s over, and I love what I’m doing.” As an ache rippled through my chest, I toyed with the hem of my t-shirt. “I probably would have ended up training elite athletes when my football career was over, anyway.” I should look at the bright side of my situation.

“I know. Anyway, it’s good to hear your voice, and I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I glanced through the window .

Arden strolled along the path from the parking lot with grocery bags in his hand.

He’d need help. “I've gotta go. My roommate is back with groceries.” I stood and raked my fingers through my bangs.

“Okay. Let’s talk again soon. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mom. Bye.” I ended the call and opened the door for Arden.

Thursday evening, I strolled through the parking lot at Postino’s, where JJ wanted to meet. How he’d talked me into this, I still didn’t know. Except JJ was great at making me feel sorry for him. As my pulse sped up, I opened the door and stepped inside the dark wine bar.