Page 20 of Hidden Plays (Desert Football #1)

Later that night, I met Holden at a parking lot across the street from The Mission.

He looked delicious in a crisp linen shirt and black jeans.

The memory of our shower this morning replayed in my head.

It had been such an unexpected thing for him to do, but had meant so much to me.

“Hey.” As I stepped to him, I kissed his cheek and threaded my fingers in his.

As the sun hung low across a sky sprinkled with puffy clouds, the cooler air of evening washed over us. “Have you ever been to this place?”

“Nope. I passed it a few times on my way to a local bar, but never thought to try it.” He strolled with me across the street.

The shops lining the streets in this area of town were mostly one story, all with covered walkways of rustic hand-hewn poles and tiled roofs. It was a throwback to Scottsdale’s Old West heritage, when people on horseback were a common occurrence. Not so much anymore.

An open trolley of tourists drinking from tall plastic glasses crept by us, all shouting, waving and readying for a night on the town.

We walked hand in hand to the building; the stucco painted in white and resembling the historic mission standing next to it.

As we ducked inside a long portico with Saltillo tile, I squeezed Holden’s hand.

Back when I’d first seen him at practice, I never in a thousand years thought I’d be having a proper date with him.

We stopped at a black hostess stand, where I told the woman about our reservations. I’d wanted a table on the back patio, since the weather was cooperating.

She led us through the main dining room, past a dark bar and tables with tufted leather seating and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

After strolling through a small passageway, we came to the back patio, set up with round, black tables and rounded wicker chairs.

Flowers in Mexican pottery lined the enclosure of the masonry wall, while a large brick fireplace sat on one side.

A large overhang with rustic beams loomed over us.

I took a chair, and Holden fell in next to me. “So, the food here is Latin cuisine, but the street tacos and margaritas are amazing.” I held my menu to my face.

His gaze swept his menu. “Looks good. I like both.” He set his menu down as the server stopped at our table for our drink order.

He ordered a standard margarita while I went with the prickly pear. “So, how did everything with your family turn out? You said your brother is a long story?” I’d never seen his brother in high school, but I knew he was older. I unwrapped my linen napkin and placed it on my lap.

“My brother is a loser.” His grin fell, and his brows knitted. “I hate to say it, but that’s the short version of it.” He peered around him for a beat and grabbed my hand resting on the table.

“What makes you say he’s a loser?” I squeezed his hand. We’d cover this topic briefly and then move on. He didn’t seem happy talking about it.

“He’s a heavy drinker and into drugs. I think it’s just weed, but he might have moved on to something stronger.

” After pursing his lips, he drank some water from a glass on the table.

“He barely finished high school and works in construction.” He gave me a pointed look.

“Noel asks my dad for money, and Dad gives it to him. Even though my mom doesn’t want him to. ”

I raised my brows. I didn’t have anyone like that in my family. “I’m sorry. Was he high at dinner?”

“No, he never showed.” He fingered the condensation on his water glass.

“He’s always been a mess.” His gaze crept to mine.

“He started drinking in middle school. I wonder if some people are just predisposed, you know?” He chewed the side of his lower lip and freed it.

“We had the same upbringing, but my parents complained about him hanging out with the wrong crowd. He didn’t go through any trauma. ”

“As far as you know.” I wrinkled my forehead. “You said you have a therapist. Does he?”

“Nope, he refuses.” He pinched his lips. “Noel avoids talking to us. He turned to the bottle instead. It’s heartbreaking really.” He sighed. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a normal brother. Someone I could lean on and talk to.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Pulling on his hand, I brought him close and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“My sister is the opposite of your brother. She’s smart and studying pre-med at U of A.

We were close growing up. Still are.” I rubbed my thumb against the back of his hand.

“If I need her, I know I can count on her, and vice versa.” And she had been there for me after I’d come out.

The server set our drinks down and took our orders for street tacos.

I sipped my pinkish margarita, just the right amount of sweet mixed with sour. “Otherwise, how did your dinner go with your folks?” He got along well with them, right? I didn’t know much about them. “What do they do?”

“It went well. My mom is a bartender at Eddy V’s. She loves that job, the clientele and the atmosphere.” His lips twitched into a grin as he gazed at his drink.

“Oh, that’s a cool place. Sort of like a supper club, all dark woods and a jazz piano player.” Holden hadn’t had all the designer clothes I’d had in high school. He didn’t come from wealth. “My family has eaten dinner there a few times.”

He nodded. “My dad works in finance at Desert Solar. He does all right, but he’s pretty stingy with his money.” He scoffed a laugh. “Outside of handing it over to my brother.” He sipped his margarita. “What about your parents? Didn’t you grow up in a Scottsdale mansion?” He smirked.

“I guess I did.” I freed a soft snort. “My dad’s an anesthesiologist, and he’s a good one, so he’s in high demand.

As a result, he gets called into the hospital at all times of the day and night and couldn’t go to a lot of my games.

” Pain floated across my heart. “He’s a demanding guy, as you can imagine.

He required good grades and stellar football stats. ” I pursed my lips.

“You came out to your family the summer before junior year. Were your stats important to impress your father then?” He lifted his chin, his brows knitting.

“Yeah.” I huffed a chuckle. “We were close, even with his work schedule. Then, when he found out I was gay, he didn’t say much. Just told me to go on PrEP and be careful.” My gut twisted in a knot. He cared more about my physical health than my mental health.

“Are you? On PrEP?” His brows rose.

With a nod, I sat back in my chair. “Yep.” The corner of my mouth twitched. “Why, are you thinking more about fucking me after the shower incident today?” I could hope.

“I am.” A pink cast washed across his cheeks. “Being behind you like that just…” He adjusted his jeans. “Jesus, I’m getting hard and we’re in a restaurant.” He sipped his margarita. “Let’s go back to your family dynamic.”

“Okay.” I shifted in my chair. Was he about to analyze my psyche? Did they teach that shit in the exercise science program?

“You were a cocky bastard your junior year. Do you think it had something to do with the breakdown of your relationship with your father?” His eyes narrowed. “Like, were you doing it for his attention?”

I fingered the napkin in my lap and shrugged. “Maybe, I suppose.” He’d nailed it. My gaze swung to his.

“And your stats suddenly became more important to you, because if they were good, you thought your dad would be proud and would overlook your sexuality.” He ticked a brow.

“What are you, a shrink?” The knot in my gut tightened. He was dead on. I’d suspected this in the back of my mind, but I’d never let it surface.

“So, when you thought I ignored you on the field, that’s why it pissed you off so much.” He pulled my hand, bringing me closer to him, and brushed a lock of bangs from my forehead. “ You thought getting the MVP award that year would bring your father back.”

Swallowing a knot in my throat, I nodded. Holy fuck, how did he do this? “You stood between me and the relationship I’d lost with my dad.”

“I’m sorry, JJ. I’m sorry you went through that. I wish I’d known why it was so important to you.” He placed a gentle kiss on my lips and then a smirk crawled over his mouth. “I would have made the same plays, regardless. You weren’t open as much as you thought.”

“Fuck off, Cox.” With a snigger, I shook my head. Maybe he was right. Junior year, my head had been messed up, and I’d blamed him.

The server set our tacos down. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks.” I looked over my plate. Three open tortillas with mounds of steak, avocado and salsa waited for me. “Are we done tearing apart my inner psyche?”

“We’re done.” He folded a street taco and bit into it, juice spilling from the end and onto the plate. With a soft moan, his eyes fluttered shut. “Oh my God, so good.”

I watched him, my lips parting. We needed a location to have sex that wasn’t in the shower. “Can we go to your place tonight?”

His gaze cut to mine. “Uh, no. I’m not out to my roommate, and he’s home.” He chewed. “I guess we can’t go to your place either.”

“Nope, not unless you want to let them know you’re the secret boyfriend.” How the hell would we navigate this? I ate a bite of taco, the spice and sweetness of the salsa bursting on my tongue.

“Your housemates are all queer, though.” He bit into his taco and chewed for a moment. “What do you think they’ll say about us?”

“Does it matter? They believe I hate you, so they’ll be surprised.

But they won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.

” I sipped my drink, washing down my food.

Eli and Casey would shit when they found out.

But they’d leave me alone about Myles for good.

“They’ve all been through the coming-out process. They know it’s difficult.”

“But what if the coaches find out? I’ve seen how you guys tease each other. What if someone says something unintentionally?” He set his taco on his plate and wiped his fingers.