Page 8 of Here in My Heart (Here Together #2)

CHAPTER EIGHT

The beamed ceiling hung low across the bed. Ade blinked. Had it moved? She ran through the reels in her photographic memory to check everything was in its place.

The realtor had described the space as “versatile,” but that really only meant the sofa bed could be put up and down to suit the needs of its occupant.

Aside from Steph, Ade hadn’t invited anyone into her domain in the seventeen days she’d been in Montpellier and saw no immediate reason to. She’d only just unpacked completely and found the perfect home for her clothes and accessories in the bones of the apartment.

She’d warmed to the place. A couple of weeks in, she could now see beyond its scratched walls and faded drapes to a charming French pied-à-terre. Steph had worked hard to clean its surfaces and soften its edges, and while Ade hadn’t appreciated her efforts at the time, she’d made a difference.

The city was beginning to feel a little less alien, which was mostly due to the role she’d gladly taken on at the lab and the friendship she’d struck with her supervisor, Sylvie.

Plus she’d mapped out her commutes, memorized her tram timetable, and picked a favorite quiet space on campus to escape to.

The lab was a home away from home. Much smaller than what she was used to in Monterey, the downsize was welcome. The boss of the marine center had spotted her proficiency from day one, so on her shifts, she was left pretty much to her own devices, which was just the way she liked it.

As for Sylvie, she was providing ample induction on and off campus.

Ade drifted to the dark cinema on Sunday night.

The velvet of the seats had itched where it had met her skin, so she’d shuffled and brushed against Sylvie, her bare arm warm to the touch.

She’d tried to focus on the movie, and despite it being an English language title, much of it had passed her by.

She grasped at snippets of the story but couldn’t fathom why the female main character had stuck around when she was so obviously downtrodden by her male antagonist.

As they’d wandered back to their old town apartments, Sylvie had chattered about the deeper meaning behind the cinematography.

She’d seen more in the pauses between the dialogue and the raise of an eyebrow.

Ade had been baffled by its subtlety, wishing they’d gone for an action movie where she could follow a car chase without her head hurting.

She rubbed at her face, waking herself up.

She hoped that her frustration hadn’t been too evident at the theater.

The last thing she wanted to do was accidentally offend Sylvie or her interests.

She smiled, remembering how passionately Sylvie had spoken of her work.

She’d opened up to Ade in an unexpected way. It made her feel good.

She glanced at the clock and counted the minutes she had left in the bed before she had to start her morning routine.

A little yoga was on today’s schedule, followed by her usual tasks of shower, dress, breakfast, and teeth-brushing.

She’d hung her clothes out on the back of her door and put her packed bag by the main entrance.

Without Steph by her side, Ade left nothing to chance.

She’d learned to overprepare rather than risk a meltdown during the day.

Her pops had helped her adapt to new routines over the years by keeping as much as possible the same.

Now, her morning routine was one of those things that, if done right, she could fly through with minimum brain tax.

By the time she got to campus, it was turning nine o’clock, just as she’d predicted. The tram had been a couple of minutes late, and it had been crowded. She could have gotten off and walked the last part, but that would have put her back by more than thirty minutes.

She had a full day of chaperone duties, and some students had signed up for one-on-one counselling sessions.

But first, she was due to hold a group discussion about some of the social activities that could be planned through the semester.

Ade gulped down the apprehension rising in her throat.

Both scenarios were way out of her comfort zone.

She’d gotten to know some of the students since they’d arrived, but they were still virtual strangers, and she didn’t cope well with new relationships.

Sylvie popped into her mind again. She was fast becoming an exception to the rule. Ade didn’t mind her company, however novel it was.

In the classroom she’d been assigned for the day, she set up the chairs in a circle, intending for everyone to have an equal voice in the group.

She stood back and surveyed her positioning.

She moved a white board forward so everyone would be able to see it and scrawled Rules of Engagement as neatly as she could across the top.

She rubbed it out with an eraser then wrote Ground Rules .

That wasn’t right either. Desperate to convey a sense of belonging but floundering to find the words, she wrote SAFE SPACE.

When she turned around, she had an audience of three at the door: Greg, Madison, and Kelly. “Oh, hello. Take a seat,” Ade said, avoiding eye contact. “Is anyone else planning to join us?”

“I doubt it.” Madison twirled her long blond hair around her manicured finger. “They all think this is lame.”

“But you don’t.” Ade sat in the circle among them.

“I heard there was a budget for socials,” Kelly said.

Greg leaned forward. “We’d like to help you organize things, Ade, if that’s useful.”

Greg meant well. The others could be trouble. Before Ade could make any further judgment, another two undergrads filed through the open door. Scott and Lisa pushed at each other’s shoulders and giggled before throwing themselves into the vacant chairs.

“Sorry we’re late,” Lisa said, tossing her bag onto the floor and spilling half the contents of her pencil case in the process.

“You’re not late.” Ade looked at the clock to confirm her sense of the time.

“We were just about to get started.” She’d practiced her speech until late last night, worrying that her delayed bedtime would knock her routine out of whack.

In groups like this, she had to be super clear about what she had to say, otherwise nerves would get the better of her and oftentimes, she’d fall silent.

The emotional scars of stage fright, selective mutism, or whatever else her teachers and doctors had called it, had never quite healed.

Now older and wiser, she’d become aware enough to know what helped and hindered.

Preparation was key. “As part of our year together, one of my roles is to arrange a social gathering of some sort at least once per semester.” She scanned the tops of their heads, hoping that would pass for eye contact.

“This session today is for us to gather some ideas about what that looks like and how we can organize ourselves. I don’t expect to have all the answers, but we can start to form a plan.

” Too robotic? She looked up at Greg for some reassurance.

With his nod, she continued. “As this is one of our first times as a cohort outside of the classroom or lab, I want to remind you that when we’re together, it’s a safe space to ask questions, put forward ideas, and maybe challenge each other, respectfully. ”

“Yeah, right.” Scott, the one with the broad shoulders and big attitude, threw a pencil at Lisa.

Ade froze, running through all the ways she could handle the situation. “Guys, let’s think about that respect from the start.”

“Sorry.” Scott grunted, sinking into his football shoulders.

Ade stared at her whiteboard, considering the crème-de-la-crème of the California state marine biology department. Maybe they saved their brains for lab time.

“Do we have any money for this stuff?” Lisa asked, filing her nail into a strange point.

“Sure.” Ade scribbled on her board. “Three thousand for the whole year.”

“Make a great frat party, huh, Greg?” Scott’s belly laugh rumbled between them.

“I was thinking of maybe a sea excursion. Kind of fits with our studies.” Greg said, his kind eyes seeking Ade’s approval.

She wrote it on the board, ignoring Scott’s suggestion.

“Beach barbecue?” Kelly unfolded her arms. “There’s a great spot down at Palavas. We could head down there after a marine lab session one afternoon.”

“In the winter, dumb ass?” Scott sniggered.

Ade took a breath. “Remember the respect we’re showing one another?”

“Actually, we could plan it for the summer term. We’re here a whole year. You’re the dumb ass.” Kelly turned away.

“Well at least I’m here on my own merit, rather than my daddy’s donation.” Scott’s lips curled further.

“You know nothing about me. You barely scraped the grades to get onto this program, so don’t act like you’re some big shot. Everyone knows you’re here to take the boats out and tinker with the engines rather than anything too scientific.”

Two chairs scraped back as Greg and Madison broke from the circle of respect, leaving the others to continue their spat.

“That’s insulting, Kelly. You’ve barely spoken to us this entire course, and now you’re throwing out the trash talk as if we’re your besties?” Lisa turned away.

“It’s not that, Lisa. It’s true,” Kelly said.

The volume rose again as they began to talk over each other. Ade put her fingertips to her temples, rubbing away the noise and confusion. She blinked, desperately trying to think of what to say which would dissolve the conflict, which had burst from nowhere .

“Settle down.” Sylvie strode into the middle of the room.

Everyone fell silent and shuffled in their seats.

“What is this chaos? I heard you from my classroom.”

Ade looked up and realized Sylvie’s question was directed at her. “Oh, jeez, I’m sorry. We were just having a little discussion about the possibilities for our social opportunities this year to complement our studies.” Ade paused, rubbing her thumb ring. “It got a little heated.”

Sylvie raised her eyebrow and turned her attention to the group.

“My proficiency in English is arguably as good, if not better, than some of yours. So it’s safe to assume I can understand what was being said.

” She stood taller, if that was possible, making herself so present in the room, there was an intake of breath.

“Your attendance here is a privilege. Don’t forget that.

” Sylvie put her hands to her hips. “And Ms. Poole?”

“Yes?”

“Take control of your classroom.”

Ade nodded. It was all she could do. The spark of conflict had ripped through her rules of respect.

Her own anger threatened to make itself known, but what good would that do?

She was disappointed in herself for allowing it to happen.

She should’ve had more control of the conversation.

The feeling of inadequacy washed over her, not for the first time.

This was the reason she hid away in the lab for hours on end.

This was why she was better at taking care of animals than humans.

“Let’s leave it there, everyone,” she said. Deflated, she wiped the board of its meager record of their conversation.

Sylvie’s disappointment replayed over in her mind. Ade could deal with letting herself down. She could even handle the criticisms of her bosses back home. But there was something about Sylvie’s displeasure that persisted, and the discomfort of it hung heavy across her chest.

Why was Sylvie’s opinion so important to her? She packed away the question at the back of her mind while she stacked the last of the chairs against the classroom wall. She’d leave the space neat and tidy, even if everything else was scattered.