Page 40 of Here in My Heart (Here Together #2)

CHAPTER FORTY

The oven beeped. No . The microwave. The fire alarm? With the forceful chirping inside her head, Sylvie opened her heavy eyelids to complete darkness. It took a couple of seconds to seek out its source: her cell. “Hello.” Sylvie rubbed her face, clearing the sleep clinging to her eyelashes.

“You’re listed as Madison Montgomery’s emergency contact. I need you to come down to University Hospital. She’s being admitted from the emergency room.”

“What’s happened?” Sylvie swung her legs from under her comforter and switched on the lamp, drenching her room in a light too harsh for the early hour.

“Madison’s hurt herself. She’s stable though and ready to come home.”

Jesus. “Can I speak with her?”

“Not right now. She’s having some dressings done.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Wait, who am I speaking with?” Sylvie asked.

“Nurse Lopez. Madison is in ward five.”

Sylvie swallowed the rising panic in her throat. Ade had warned her about Madison’s state of mind, but she’d hoped it wouldn’t get worse.

This was a first in her teaching career, but she could handle it.

She drove to the hospital in a daze, carried by the adrenaline of the situation.

After pushing through the main doors, she attracted sideways glances and stares.

The clothes she’d managed to throw on looked like she’d been woken up in the middle of a nightmare, which was absolutely accurate.

She had no time to worry about her own appearance.

The only thing that mattered was that Madison was okay.

She weaved her way through a maze of corridors to a holding ward and braced herself.

The nurses’ station was a flurry of activity, but she caught someone’s attention. “I’m here for Madison Montgomery.”

“Are you family?” the nurse asked.

“I’m her professor at the university. She’s an international student on a year abroad.”

“I got that from the lack of French,” the nurse said. “She’s almost ready to go home. We just need the doctor to sign her out and provide her with some follow-up. She’s going to need a referral to a mental health practitioner.”

“Has she said what happened?”

“She didn’t need to. There were multiple lacerations to her lower arm. One was fairly deep, so she panicked and called someone. Any closer to an artery, and she could’ve bled out.” The nurse’s kind eyes met Sylvie’s. “We see it pretty often. She called, thank goodness.”

Nausea swirled in Sylvie’s stomach. This could have been so much worse.

Behind a clinical white door lay the vulnerable shape of Madison, balled up under a hospital blanket, hiding away from the world.

Sylvie sat next to the bed, not wanting to wake her yet.

She wondered what could have pushed this perfect-seeming young woman to the brink of her emotions.

Was it the pressure of university? Being away from home for so long?

Who knew what these kids were up against. So many of their troubles played out inside their heads and scarred their hearts.

Madison turned and groaned. “You didn’t need to come. I told them I was fine.”

“They had to call someone, and I’m on your list, so here I am.” Sylvie feigned a smile. “How are you?”

“How do you think?” Madison stared at the ceiling, dry spittle crusted around her lips. “Are they letting me go home yet?”

“We just need to wait for a doctor to sign you out and get you some more support.” Sylvie ran her hands through her bed hair. “Did you want to call your parents?”

“No,” said Madison, inspecting her freshly dressed arm. “They don’t want to hear about my problems.”

Sylvie opened her mouth to object but closed her mouth. She didn’t have a clue what Madison’s relationship with her parents was like. She couldn’t base her assumptions on her own experiences. “Is there anyone you want to call?”

“Is Ade around? Isn’t she my emergency contact?”

“She’s in Morocco for a few days with her sister. It’s their birthday.” But God, Sylvie wished she was here.

“Nice way to spend your birthday, I guess. Good for her.” Madison met Sylvie’s eye contact for the first time. “Thanks for coming.”

Sylvie attempted a brave face.

“Ade’s been good to me these past few weeks.” Madison’s gaze flicked from side to side. “I don’t mean about the faked attendance cards. She’s just been really helpful with my schedule and listening when I need her.”

Pride settled in Sylvie’s heart. It was no surprise to her that Ade had been a support to Madison, but she’d clearly made more of an impact than she realized.

After the doctor discharged Madison, Sylvie drove her back into the city.

“Can I come in and see you settled?” Sylvie asked, not willing to take no for an answer.

Madison gave her a look which suggested she’d rather eat her own vomit, but she allowed Sylvie to follow her into the shared apartment. The winter dawn was still tucked below the horizon, shrouding the place in darkness, and her housemates slumbered in their beds.

Madison slumped on her couch and drew a blanket up to her chin.

“Is there anything I can get you?” Sylvie hovered, desperate to be useful.

Madison shook her head, her lip trembling.

“I don’t have to leave, if you don’t want me to.” Sylvie sat opposite, grasping at her training for the next thing to do. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Madison’s gaze dropped. “It wasn’t as bad as they said.”

“What wasn’t?”

“The cut. The bleeding. It would’ve healed on its own. I just panicked.”

Sylvie sat forward. “You did the right thing. It’s going to be okay.”

“Is it? Because I can’t stop. I try not to, and then something in my brain takes over, and I’m just not in control of my hands.”

Sylvie was out of her depth here. She fixed her face, careful not to reveal any sign of the shock, panic, and confusion that was coursing through her right now. “No one is judging you. We’re all here to support you.”

Madison shook, tears falling down her mottled cheeks. “I’ve let everyone down. I promised Ade I wouldn’t do it again.”

Sylvie inhaled, not wishing to deny Madison’s feelings but desperate to protect her from any shame. “You haven’t let me down. And you haven’t let Ade down.”

“What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to get some sleep right now. When you’re feeling a little more human, we can talk about the next steps. You have an appointment with a doctor who’s a specialist in this field, so that will help.”

“What’s Ade going to think? I promised her I wouldn’t hurt myself.” Madison cowered and pulled the blanket to her chin.

“Ade will understand that you’re feeling vulnerable. She’s on your side, Madison.” Sylvie straightened. “I don’t want you to make promises to people, okay? We’re here to help you, but you don’t owe anyone any promises.”

Madison’s eyelids dropped with fatigue, so Sylvie tucked her in and said goodbye.

If only she could take all the distress and loneliness, wrap it up in a box, and throw it in the river.

But life wasn’t that simple. Madison had her own demons to face, and Sylvie had to wish Ade a happy birthday without destroying the mood.

She made her way back to her apartment and brewed fresh coffee, her broken night’s sleep making itself known.

Her cell vibrated on the counter, and Ade’s name lit up on the black screen.

“Happy birthday, you,” Sylvie said, with as much lightness as she could muster.

“Thanks. It’d be better if you were here.”

“We can both agree on that.” Sylvie looked to the ceiling, wishing she was anywhere but in the city right now.

Her thoughts wandered while Ade filled in the blanks with details of her trip.

“You okay over there?” Ade asked.

“I’m fine.” She swallowed back the emotion in her throat. “I’m just tired.”

“Did you have a late night without me?”

Sylvie couldn’t hide the truth. Ade would find out sooner or later and it was best that she heard from Sylvie rather than one of the students. “I was up in the night at the hospital with Madison.”

Sylvie ran through the sequence of events.

“I can’t believe this,” Ade said.

“I’m sorry, Ade.” Sylvie paced her kitchen. “She’s home now, and there’s nothing that won’t heal, physically. But emotionally, she’s in a mess.”

“I know all of that. I’ve been supporting her these past few weeks,” Ade said, her voice strained.

“Hey, I didn’t want to tell you on the phone, especially on your birthday. But it happened, and it’s for the best that you know before you come back into work. There’ll be all kinds of risk assessments and reports to write up.”

“Are you angry with me?” Ade asked.

“No.” Sylvie sat down. Her nerves were frayed; she’d spent half the night at the hospital, and now she’d clearly upset Ade while she was supposed to be enjoying her birthday weekend. “I’m not angry with you. Why would I be?”

“I did a report. I made a referral before I came away. I did everything I was supposed to.” She cleared her throat of what sounded like a sob. “I should’ve been there.”

Sylvie silently acknowledged Ade’s regret. “Hey, this isn’t on you. Madison is an adult. Albeit a young one. She’s struggling, and you did everything you could have done.” The silence hung between them. “You did everything I would’ve done.”

“Then why are you angry?”

“I’m angry with the world, Ade. It’s tragic that our young people feel so much pressure to exist, to thrive, to be someone they’re not, especially when they call their parents for help, and they don’t come.

” Sylvie closed her eyes briefly. “I just wish you were here, so I didn’t have to miscommunicate with you over the phone. ”

“I still should’ve been there.”

Sylvie pushed down the frustration at Ade’s lack of experience with students. “You can’t be there for them the whole time. That’s not the job.”

“But what if they need you?”

“You can’t help being away. I was here. There’s always someone else to pick up the slack. That’s the main thing.”

“You don’t think I could have coped?” Ade asked.

Sylvie held the phone away from her ear. “That’s not what I said. When did I say that?”

“You didn’t. It’s just how I feel, I guess.”

Sylvie ached to be with her. To smooth this over and rewrite Ade’s inner monologue. But she had enough on her plate dealing with Madison’s crisis. “Listen, I need to focus on Madison right now. Let’s talk again when you’ve had time to calm down and digest the situation.”

“But I should be there for her instead of being here at this stupid villa in the crazy heat. ”

Sylvie paused. “This actually isn’t about you, Ade. It’s about the well-being of one our students.”

Ade hung up. Had Sylvie said too much? It was obviously a shock for Ade to hear the news and be so far away and out of control.

She kicked herself for not handling it better; she should’ve waited until Ade was back from her trip.

But juggling the emotional crisis of one person had been enough today.

Ade would calm down once she had time to process what had happened.

But a little part of Sylvie resented always having to be the grown-up.