Page 41 of Here in My Heart (Here Together #2)

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Ade wasn’t angry with Sylvie; she was furious with herself.

Just when she thought she was adding value to her students’ lives, she’d missed the biggest signal of all: one of them needed help.

She paced around the perimeter of the courtyard as the sun rose.

Her parents and Steph hadn’t yet shown for breakfast, so she had the place to herself for all the ruminating she wanted.

She’d wanted to impress Sylvie and show her she was capable of something other than clearing out animal tanks. She bit her lip. Sylvie was so right; this wasn’t about her. It was about Madison. So why couldn’t she shake the failure from her shoulders?

Her pops strolled out onto the veranda wearing a silk robe. “Happy birthday, angel.”

She ignored him.

“You okay there, Ady-baby?”

“You know, I don’t really care for that nickname.” The label was diminishing, making her smaller than she was, less able than she should be. It certainly wasn’t helping this morning.

Her pops smiled. They replayed this argument every few years, but sooner or later the name would pop up. She’d always be the baby of the family.

“You don’t need to look after me anymore. I’m a grown adult.” She kept pacing.

He gave a hearty rumble of laughter. “Oh, yeah? Since you turned twenty-five, you’ve got it all figured out, have you?”

He probably didn’t mean to provoke further hostility, but Ade’s balloon of frustration and guilt was almost at bursting point. “I don’t care what you and Dad think. I don’t need a chaperone or a parent to be constantly checking in on me.”

Her pops sat at the ironwork table and set down his coffee. “What’s all this about?”

He gestured for her to sit, but she didn’t want to. She was angry with herself and not managing it well. “One of my students did something stupid last night and hurt themselves. They had to go to the fucking hospital.”

He nodded. “I can see why you’d be distressed by that. Are they doing okay?”

“They’re fine. She’s fine. Madison.” Ade swallowed the tears. Why was she crying? She wasn’t hurt.

“You have some responsibilities for taking care of Madison?”

“Yeah, it’s like my only job this year, but I’m here, sunning myself around a mosaic poolside with you guys.”

“It’s tough when something happens that’s not in your control,” he said.

Ade paced up and down a couple more times, then dragged her toe against the dusty floor. “I think I knew, deep down, that she was in trouble. I made a referral for counseling before I left.”

“So you did what you could.”

“It wasn’t enough to stop her from ending up in the emergency room.”

“Is that what happened?”

“That’s what Sylvie told me. But I don’t know all the details, Pops, because I’m not fucking there!” She crumbled, holding her face in her hands.

Her father came to her side and pulled her into his chest. “I’m here. Come on.”

“I don’t know what to do, Pops.”

“There’s nothing you can do, realistically. You’re here, and she’s there, presumably with other people rallying to support her.”

How could I be here when Sylvie’s having to cope with this alone?

“Ade? You still with me? ”

She nodded, refocusing.

“You need to come to terms with how you feel about what happened. It’s a shock. You obviously feel angry at yourself. Maybe at Madison too.” He squeezed her tight. “You might also feel a bit sad and worried about her.”

“I do.” Ade blinked away a tear. “I got mad at Sylvie when she called to tell me.”

“Okay, well, you’ll need to repair that too. I get the impression she’ll forgive you.”

“I hope so.”

“Things don’t always go to plan, Ade. Everyone’s human. We just need to be able to talk it out.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to head back on an earlier flight?” she asked.

“Well, that seems like something practical we can look into.” He flicked the screen of his cell and started to type. “Steph might not be ready to go yet. You’ll be okay traveling alone?”

“Yes.” No question. She wanted to get back and make amends with Sylvie and talk to Madison. If that meant negotiating an airport at either end, then so be it.

“I’ll go wake your dad.”

“No, wait. Let me. I need to tell him what’s going on.

” The familiar fear of failure gnawed at her.

Part of her wanted to just leave without an explanation, but that would cause fireworks for her pops, so she may as well be a grown-up about it all and fess up.

She paused at the door to their bedroom and listened for signs of life.

“I heard your footsteps, Adelaide. You’re about as stealthy as an elephant.” He opened the door fully and marched out to the kitchen. “Happy birthday my heavy-footed child. What is it, honey? You look beat.”

“There’s been an incident back on campus. One of my cohorts was taken to the hospital.” She froze, waiting for signs of her father’s impatience.

“Gee, that sounds awful. What happened?” He poured coffee into a short mug and rubbed his eyes.

“She hurt herself. It was pretty bad. I mean, she’s okay; she’s not dead or anything.” Ade swallowed. “I feel like I might want to be there for her.”

Her dad glared over his steaming cup. “You want to cut your birthday trip short?”

“I kinda feel like I’m responsible. Or if not responsible, in a position of responsibility.” She wasn’t making sense. This was what he did; he stared until she got tongue-tied and then they fought. “I need to support her through this.”

Her dad stroked his chin. “You know what? You’re right. And I’m proud of you for wanting to go back and do what you can.”

Ade blinked. “Really?”

“Yes. I think you’re actually showing up for this kid, and that’s a great thing.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

He tilted his head. “What were you expecting?”

“Some drama about me having to leave. Maybe criticism that I’m not even able to commit to a family holiday?”

“Well, give me some credit here, Ade. I’m seeing this for what it is: you doing your job. In fact, you’re going above and beyond in my book.”

Huh. That meant a lot coming from him. “Thanks.”

“Is that what your pops is doing right now, rebooking your flight?” He looked over at her pops, hunched over his laptop. “He’d do anything for you. So would I, Ade. I mean it.”

He planted a kiss on her forehead, and it pulsed for a while, like he’d branded her with his love.

Steph hadn’t wanted to leave. In fact, she begged to hang out with their dads for the remainder of their trip before she headed to Italy to continue her gap year .

Once her pops had dropped her at the security gate, Ade had journeyed back to Montpellier alone, repeating her playlist over and over.

Just when she had her anxiety under some kind of control, it bubbled right back up to say “hi.” She jumped out of her skin every time the plane bumped through a cloud.

Steph had told her on the way over that it was perfectly normal, but that didn’t stop her heart racing with every jolt.

Somehow she made it through arrivals and got in a cab. There was no way she had the bandwidth for public transportation.

By the time she finally reached the corridor leading to Sylvie’s office, her nerves were fried.

She eased the tension from her shoulders just a fraction, then sprang upright, alarmed by the sound of raised voices.

She dithered in the hallway, trying to make out who was talking. It was Sylvie and Paul.

Ade hadn’t warned Sylvie that she was coming, and now it seemed like she was interrupting something.

Creeping closer, she strained to make out what the argument was about.

She didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it sounded like they were talking about Madison, and she needed all the facts before she visited.

“Are the risk assessments up to date?” Paul asked.

“You know they are, Paul. I don’t take these responsibilities lightly, despite them being thrust upon me without my input.”

“And was a referral made to well-being?” he asked.

“I double-checked earlier, and yes, Ade handled that before she went on leave.”

“That’s something. We can’t let this get out of control, Sylvie. The last thing we need is a safeguarding investigation.”

“There’s nothing to investigate. The girl hurt herself in her own room. We can’t be with them the whole time.”

“You know the media doesn’t see it that way. Neither does the international board. They sent us those kids to look after.”

“We are looking after her. As much as we can, given that she’s an adult.” Sylvie sighed. “You know, I’m an academic. I’m not an expert in student liaison or HR. If I had a little more support, perhaps I could do more.”

“You have the pastoral worker. What’s her name? Adelaide?”

Sylvie didn’t respond.

“Is she not up to much?” Paul asked.

“She’s doing her best. I’m not sure why the Monterey team chose her as a chaperone, to be honest. She’s a brilliant scientist. But she’s a scientist.”

Ouch . She usually loved Sylvie’s style of straightforward communication, but she had really gotten right to the point there. Did she not think that Ade was good enough for this job? Sylvie’s doubt twisted in Ade’s chest. She shrugged her backpack and turned, scraping the wall.

“Ade?” Sylvie appeared at the open door. “What are you doing here?”

Ade blinked, working out which questions were more important: the thousand firing inside her mind or the one Sylvie had asked aloud.

“Ade? Are you with us?”

“I came back to support Madison,” Ade said, unable to look Sylvie in the eye. “I guess I’m doing more harm than good.”

“Not at all. Please come inside.” Sylvie’s face fell, and she raised her eyebrows in Paul’s direction. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Of course,” he said, approaching the door. “Let me have that incident report by five, please—from both of you.”

Sylvie collapsed at her desk and put her face in her hands while Ade hovered at the edge of the room, a torrent of questions racing through her tired brain. What was the report Paul needed? And what did she have to do with it?

“You heard that, didn’t you?” Sylvie asked, finally looking up.

“I did.”

“I didn’t mean it. I was just trying to highlight to Paul that international exchanges need resourcing properly. You can’t do it on a shoestring.”

“Is that what I am?” Ade asked, not understanding the analogy .

“No, you’re not a shoestring. But you’re not…” Sylvie sighed deeply, “you’re not that experienced in supervising students or leadership. They sent you over here with a mixed bag of emotionally fragile youngsters and left you to it.”

“I have you,” said Ade, her stomach suddenly hollow with worry.

“But that’s just it. This isn’t my day job. I’m leading a completely different discipline. It’s just not okay that we’ve both been left to flounder without the right support in place.”

“But you said I wasn’t up to the job.”

“That’s not what I said. You can remember what I said, word for word. I was suggesting to Paul that he’d fallen short of his responsibilities, not you.”

Confused, Ade recalled what she’d overhead. Maybe Sylvie was right, but it hurt thinking she was inadequate. Of all the things she craved, it was Sylvie’s approval. Not her dad’s, not Stephanie’s; it was Sylvie she wanted to impress. “I should go. I wanted to get to Madison.”

“Wait, please.” Sylvie rose with her arms outstretched. “I’m so glad you’re home. We need to celebrate your birthday.”

Ade didn’t feel much like celebrating. “Doesn’t seem right.”

Sylvie briefly cast her gaze to the floor. “I really missed you.”

Ade shuffled on the spot. She’d missed Sylvie like nothing ever before, but the sting of her comments hadn’t faded.

If she could talk her down so casually, what else was she thinking?

Was this the reason she hadn’t wanted to take their relationship so seriously?

Because she wasn’t really that into someone like Ade? “I missed you too. I really did.”

“Will you come to my apartment when you’re finished at Madison’s?”

“I’ll see how late it is.” Ade turned and left.

It was petty, but she couldn’t just shrug off the criticism.

Sylvie had a point: she wasn’t qualified, and this job was a push way out of her comfort zone.

The Monterey faculty knew it. So why did it hurt so much that Sylvie held up that mirror?

Had she expected Sylvie to see the best in her, to see her potential?

She couldn’t even see it herself. How could Sylvie see past her faults when they were so glaringly obvious to everyone else?

This whole trip had started as a chance to prove to everyone that she was more than just a lab rat.

But now, she’d just confirmed all their assumptions.

And that hurt. But the tiny tear in her relationship with Sylvie hurt even more.