Page 24 of Here in My Heart (Here Together #2)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Ade stepped onto the viewing platform with a tremor of vertigo threatening to eject the insides of her stomach.

Her pops slipped his arm around her shoulder. “Can you believe this view?”

Ade had never seen anything so ancient. A Roman viaduct stretched across the river and beyond.

She and her pops teetered on the left bank, almost hidden in the evergreen trees and vegetation.

Her dad and Steph had walked on ahead, eager to get their bearings at the historic spot and find a decent place for lunch.

Ade breathed in the cool air and crunched the bed of golden leaves with her boots.

It was the first time she’d ventured out of the city since she’d gotten there.

Her folks had insisted on seeing some sights, so she’d enlisted Sylvie’s help to put together a shortlist. The Roman architecture of the neighboring city of N?mes had peaked both her fathers’ interest.

Ade had worked out that renting a car would be much less traumatic than navigating the train, bus, and God-knows-what-else.

But even that had come with a sunrise alarm clock and then motion sickness for most of the journey.

Only now, warmed by the low-hanging sun, had the nausea subsided, leaving in its wake a nervous anxiety that followed Ade into most unusual circumstances.

“You okay, baby?” Her pops nudged her shoulder gently.

“Sure.”

“You know, I’m real proud of you for making this happen.”

Ade was grateful that he continued to look out beyond the viaduct’s tall arches. Eye contact would’ve tipped her over the edge. “What do you mean, Pops?”

“This whole thing can’t be easy for you. Moving abroad on your own, settling into a new job, and taking care of the younger students. It’s a big deal. Your dad and I know that.”

She stayed silent because he hadn’t requested any kind of response.

“Your dad…” Her pops kicked at the loose ground. “He worries about you. Sometimes it comes out less caring than it really is. You know he loves you though, don’t you?”

“Of course.” She’d never questioned her parents’ love. “I don’t know whether I’m ever going to live up to his expectations though. He has it all worked out, and I just don’t feel that way most of the time.”

Her pops nodded. “Dad likes things to be neat, tidy, and all dressed in a bow. When things are messy, he feels out of control. He’s like you in so many ways.

” He blinked at sunshine. “You know, like when you feel worried about something, and it’s like your body can’t settle.

Like you have ants crawling all over you. ”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Your dad gets unsettled sometimes, just like that. When you were little, he couldn’t handle the chaos. Everything upside down in the house, routines all over the place, not knowing whether one or both of you would sleep through the night or cause another drama.”

“That was then. Why is he so hellbent on controlling our lives now and having us both back home?”

“Well, he misses you desperately, for starters. And he prefers everything pinned down and buttoned-up. He needs to know you’re safe, now and in the future.”

“But the future doesn’t matter much if we’re not happy right now.” Ade picked a browning leaf from a tree and crumbled it between her fingers.

Her pops chuckled. “I know, I know. You and I like to live here in the moment. But we can only do that because your dad has been looking out for us the whole time. He’s had his eye on the what happens next, giving us a roof above our heads, a college fund, money for traveling the world.

You think that would’ve all been possible if it weren’t for him showing his love in the only way he knows how? ”

Ade had never considered her father’s love language in any detail. Pops was for hugs and kisses, while Dad was for permission and protocols. This shed a whole new light on her dad’s parenting style.

“Let’s go find them, honey.” Her pops led the way out of the bracken, and they strolled along the river bank.

Ade contemplated what she might do after this year was up.

She’d been forced into it, but in the last few weeks, she’d somehow broken free of the loop she’d been stuck in.

She could imagine things beyond this year and maybe even think about that job at the marine center.

Or about sticking around for a little while and enjoying the summer with Sylvie.

She stubbed her boot on a rock sticking up from the verge. “Ouch.”

“Deep in your thoughts there, kiddo?” He tsked. “You hurt yourself?”

A nostalgic warmth filled her to the brim as a memory flooded every one of her senses: her pops kneeling at her feet, dusting off a graze when she’d fallen from her first bike.

The smell of the grass from her scratched hands.

His voice just as soft and tender now as it had been all those years ago.

“I’m fine. Just a little distracted.” Ade squinted into the distance for any signs of her sister and Dad.

“Where are those two? They should’ve looped back toward us by now with a plan. ”

“You know them. Your dad will have found an interpretation board of Roman artifacts to memorize. He’ll entertain us all afternoon and evening with his facts and figures.

” Her pops pointed at two figures leaning over the viaduct, waving enthusiastically.

He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Hey, you two. ”

Ade’s dad gave half a salute in the distance, while Steph waved like she was on a landing strip.

As Ade was pulled toward the other half of her family like the magnetic north, she couldn’t help but wonder what Sylvie was up to. She would’ve loved for her to have joined them on their day trip, if only to fill in the gaps in both her local and historical knowledge.

But it was enough that she’d spared time for a family lunch.

Once they’d gotten over her dad’s interrogation of her academic credentials, both her parents had shown her a warm welcome, and Ade loved them for it.

As for Sylvie, she’d been perfect. Sophisticated, unfazed, confident.

Everything that Ade wasn’t. Sylvie’s ease with the world smoothed over Ade’s flaws like a polishing cloth, and Ade was better for it.

Sylvie celebrated her difference like it was a good thing, but it was hard to believe someone could see how she fit with the world, when she felt like a jigsaw piece in the wrong box most of the time.

Steph raised a glass. “Today was so much fun. But I’m glad that Dad and Pops went back to their hotel and left us to it. We haven’t been able to hit the bars in forever.”

“It hasn’t been forever. It’s been weeks.” Ade crossed her arms.

“You know what I mean, know-it-all.” Steph flashed her big grin.

Given the choice, Ade would’ve retreated back to her dads’ hotel room for a cup of cocoa and an early night, but Steph had been verbally and physically persuasive, practically dragging Ade into the old town for early drinks. She could only hope that they wouldn’t be going onto another bar.

“You had a good few days?” Steph asked, picking out the umbrella in her glass.

“I really did. It’s been great to see Dad and Pops.”

“I think so too.” Steph circled the rim of her glass. “You and Dad seem to be getting on better this afternoon. ”

“What do you mean?”

Steph shrugged. “You just seemed less prickly with him is all.”

Ade mirrored the gesture. “Pops told me he was just worried about us both.”

“He needn’t worry about me. I’ve got my job all wrapped up for me when I get back. I just need to wring a little more fun from this trip before I head home and start adulting for real.”

“At least you have a job to go back to.” Ade stirred her Diet Coke with a straw.

“Don’t start. You’re finishing your PhD when you get back. Dad wouldn’t cut you off.”

“And what if I wanted to stay?”

“What the fuck?” Steph coughed and held her chest. “Where’d that come from?”

“I don’t know, really. I just keep going over that casual job offer at the center. I have people here now?—”

“You have one person: Sylvie.” Steph tipped her head back and laughed. “Is that what’s got you all worked up?”

Ade closed her eyes, wanting to form the most accurate answer possible. “Maybe it is.”

“Wow. I was not expecting that, little sister.” Steph smiled like some kind of proud godmother. “Then you have to do what your heart wants. Is it your heart?”

Ade froze. She had no idea where the idea had come from.

It had entered her head and slipped from her lips.

But had it come via her heart? It seemed ridiculous to think that.

“I’m confused now. All I know is that I feel more comfortable here with Sylvie, in the real world.

I’m more myself than I ever felt back home.

That’s why I retreated to the lab most days: to avoid people and get away from the endless interactions. ”

Steph turned her around and gripped her shoulders.

“I love Sylvie. She’s fantastic and I’m really pleased you’ve found a friend in her.

But it might be that you’re growing in confidence all by yourself.

Try talking to some other people. See how that makes you feel.

” Steph looked around the bar. “There’s a couple of folks over there; let’s go hang out. ”

Dread collected in Ade’s gut. She didn’t want to talk to strangers.

She’d had enough interactions since she’d arrived in Montpellier to know that her entire personality hadn’t morphed into something more neurotypical.

It was Sylvie who brought out the most relaxed, unmasked version of herself.

If Steph couldn’t see that yet, then so be it. But she knew it, here in her heart.