Page 80 of Hell Bent (Portland Devils #5)

LOVE TO THE TEST

Alix

It was a long time before Sebastian could talk again. It was a long time before I trusted myself to. Finally, though, we were sitting limply on the steps in the dark, the lights of the city spread out before us, and I said, “I love you,” because I thought he might need to hear it.

“Yeah,” he said, and wiped his face on his T-shirt. “I can see why. I’m pretty impressive.” I laughed, he smiled, and I hugged him tighter and felt better.

A snuffling sound behind us, and I said, “We bored Lexi so badly that she went to sleep.” We both laughed a little at that, and I added, “Carlton at my work—the one who’s always betting against you—says you’re going to get a bunch of offers.”

“Yeah. My new agent says so, too.”

“When do you find that out?”

“Mid-March.”

“And what do you want?”

He didn’t say anything for so long, I looked up. He said, “I’ve never really asked myself that. ”

“Now, see,” I said, “that’s why you need me.

I’m always asking myself that. Because I’ve been privileged enough to always have the choice, I’ve belatedly realized.

That’s the difference. You clearly need me to help you learn to be spoiled, so—what do you want?

If there’s a dream scenario, what is it? ”

He said, “Honestly?”

“There’s nothing here but honesty.”

“All right. Honestly, I’d rather stay here. Even if someplace else is more money. It feels like a team here. It feels like?—”

“Like a brotherhood.”

“Yeah.” A long sigh. “That. Like a team. A real one. And seriously? The money’s going to be pretty good wherever.

Not wide-receiver good, but pretty good.

Fifteen million, sixteen, something like that.

Not every year,” he hastened to add. “Over three years, probably. Possibly twenty million over four years, but at my age? Probably three.”

“I imagine you can scrape by on that,” I agreed.

“I have enough already,” he said. “I can send you wherever to school, for one thing.”

“I can send me to school, actually,” I said. “I have over two hundred forty thousand saved, remember?”

He turned to stare at me. “You do?”

“Sebastian. Didn’t you hear me tell my mother so?”

“Oh. I guess I forgot. I was concentrating on you standing up to her.”

“You’re worse than me. So, yes. I don’t have any millions of dollars, but I have some.

You can do that when you live in a trailer in your grandparents’ yard while you’re being an electrician for eight years in Palo Alto.

Very wealthy area. Good salaries, but not if you have to pay for housing, but—there you go, I didn’t.

I’ve been making a lot at this job, too, and I don’t want any more tuition money from my parents.

I don’t want to take another car, either.

Money from your parents, when you’re thirty?

That’s a chain. It lets them have an opinion.

I want to have my opinion, even if it’s wrong. ”

“Well, there goes my plan to buy your love,” he said, and I laughed.

“Seriously, though,” I said, “I’m glad you don’t live more … more high on the hog. You’ve had to be careful, I guess, not being sure what the future held. And being a smart guy that way.”

“Ah,” he said. “Yeah, well …” And scratched behind his ear.

“Wait,” I said. “What? Don’t tell me you have a gambling problem like Carlton. I refuse to believe it. Also, hands off my two hundred forty thousand.” I was laughing a little, though, because I absolutely couldn’t believe it.

“I’ll tell you,” he said, “but it could put your love to the test.”

“Oh, boy.” I wasn’t laughing anymore. “Tell me.”

“I have, uh …” A pause. “Something like thirteen million. At the moment. There’ll be a signing bonus in that new contract, so that’ll bump it up some.”

My mouth was open. If I hadn’t been sitting down, I might have fallen down with a clunk sound, like a cartoon. “You’re kidding,” I said. Not my most erudite moment.

“Premier League soccer pays better than the NFL,” he said, “and I was there for four years. Buy and hold, right? They gave us an investment seminar. I was eighteen and alone, and I’d been foster-care poor, so it seemed like a good idea to pay attention.

Things didn’t pay too bad after that, either.

And I’ve just never figured out what to spend it on.

I donate half the interest every year, or it’d be more.

Locally, you know, wherever I am. Foster kids, homeless kids, whatever.

Kids with no chance. And I was thinking—” He stopped again .

“I could swear you’re embarrassed,” I said. “Remember that first night you met me at the restaurant? Ned’s wonderful boss Brian, the loud talker?”

“Yep,” he said. “That one’s engraved on the memory.”

“Let’s just say that I haven’t met many guys who’ve failed to mention how much money they have. OK, I may be rethinking my eternal love here.”

He laughed, and I laughed, too, feeling light. Feeling washed clean. He said, “Seriously, though. If I stay in Portland—if you want to stay?—”

“I’d like to stay,” I said. “It’s a friendly place.

Outdoorsy and hilly, which I like, and the right size for me.

Great coffee, too. And hey, if I’m not working outdoors all day, who cares about the rain?

If you want to stay, we should stay. There are some pretty good schools here, and if I’m not working six days a week, I can start visiting my grandmother again.

It’s, what, an hour and a half flight to San Jose?

I can see my parents without being on top of my parents, and let me tell you, that sounds like a definite plan.

It’s also close to Vancouver, which seems good for Ben.

Wait, though. You said, ‘If I stay in Portland.’”

“I want to stay, too,” he said. “And I think I should buy a house, once we’re sure.

Once I have an actual offer from the Devils.

Can’t help being cautious, but yeah. A house, with a yard.

For Ben.” He took a deep breath. “Not that I know how to have a house. My dad had a townhouse, which isn’t the same.

You have to mow lawns and fix things, I know that.

I still have some mechanical skills, though, because my dad taught me some, and you probably have more, so maybe …

But I’ll have to buy furniture, too. So far, I have a couch. I’m hoping you’ll help me there.”

“The blind leading the blind,” I said, and we were laughing again. “My furniture is all bolted to the floor.”

“I’m also hoping,” he said, “that you’ll live there with us. And before you say the money thing—seems like we could figure that out. Make a budget, put money in, ah, proportionally. Then it’ll be us doing it together, and you’d like that better.”

I couldn’t stop myself. I held him closer and kissed his mouth. Then I kissed him again.

“What?” he said, but he was laughing. “I say, ‘Pay your share,’ and you kiss me? I’m happy to pay for both of us. For all of us. Why wouldn’t I be? My money isn’t as stupid as Harlan’s, but it’s still stupid money.”

“That,” I said, “is exactly the circumstance under which I’ll live with you. Not the stupid money idea. The proportional idea.”

“Right,” he said. “Utilities, food, like that. Realizing that about ninety-five percent of it will come from me, if it’s proportional. Maybe ninety-nine, if you’re going to school. I get pride, though. I get that it matters.”

“Excuse me,” I said, “mortgage?”

“I told you, the signing bonus alone will be millions. I’m guessing I’m not going to need a mortgage. And I draw the line at charging you rent. Hard no.” His profile fierce now, like the wolf he was and wasn’t. “And I reserve the right to give presents. And buy the furniture.”

I raised my hand from my side in surrender. “Fine. Geez. Just don’t buy me a Porsche 911 Turbo. Carlton’s dream car,” I explained when he stared at me.

“Ben’s is a Porsche 911 Carrera GTS,” he said.

“Don’t tell him about the Turbo. That one’s a couple hundred thousand, and you can’t even fit a Golden Retriever in it.

Or three people, unless one of them’s five years old.

Right. If I promise not to fully support you and not to buy you a car you don’t approve—notice that I’m not saying no car—and not to pay your tuition, will you live with me?

We can always park the trailer in the side yard. Escape pod. ”

I hugged his arm. It was getting cold, and Ben had probably eaten all the pizza, but I couldn’t care.

“You know?” I said. “I think maybe I’ll drive the trailer back down to California and leave it in my grandmother’s yard for the time being.

It can be my guest room. Maybe my escape pod doesn’t have to be right here.

You could go with me, if you wanted, to meet her. You and Ben.”

“Three generations of princesses,” he said. “I could be intimidated.”

“Nah,” I said, and smiled out of my whole heart. “I think you’re good.”