Page 55 of Heartland

“Mostly. Christ, it’s cold in here. I think the power just came back on.”

“What time is it?”

Dylan is a farmer, so he looks at the sky instead of at a clock. “Almost seven? So it’s that pivotal hour when the choice is between sleep and coffee. The dining hall doesn’t open for another hour, though, because it’s a holiday.” He leans back against my bed and sighs.

Awake now, I scramble around him and visit the bathroom to brush my teeth. Too late, I realize I should have brought some clothes into the bathroom with me. Dylan is probably putting on his jeans right now, because it really is freezing in here.

But when I get back to my room, he’s lying in my bed, the covers pulled up to his chin. When he spots me in the doorway, he moves toward the wall to make room.

There’s no way I could fall asleep again. Not with my squirrel brain running in circles, wondering whether I’ve completely ruined Dylan’s trust in me just so I could spend a few Friday evenings with him.

In spite of my worries, I can’t resist the chance to be close to him. So I kick his backpack out of the way of the door and let it fall shut. Then I climb into the bed.

We’re lying on our backs again, contemplating the gray ceiling at dawn. Dylan doesn’t seem to be falling asleep. He’s quiet in the way a man is when he’s thinking.

“I just have one question,” he says eventually. “Why did you do it?”

“Why did I…lie?”

“Yeah. Was it because Fridays were for Kaitlyn? You wanted to make her mad?”

“Yes,” I whisper after a beat. It really is that simple.

“Because she was such a bitch sometimes?”

“Sometimes?” I repeat, my blood beginning to simmer. I know I’m in the wrong, here. But Kaitlyn just brings out the worst in me.

He snorts. “Fine. I get it.”

“Do you?” I squeak. I’m suddenly so angry. “She was horrible to me since the moment I met her. She was rude to Rickie and Keith. She was manipulative of you. And you never called her on it. Why is that? You don’t let other people run over you.”

“I dunno,” he mutters.

His non-answer just makes me crazier. “I’m sorry, I don’t buy that. You do know. You just don’t want to say it. I lied about Fridays. And I am sorry. But now you’re lying, too. You put up with her because she’sverypretty. And you wanted her in your bed.”

The mattress shakes gently as Dylan laughs. “Yeah, I already admitted that. Fine. I let her treat me a little shitty, because I didn’t care that much that we weren’t really a good match. But I’m sorry I let her treat my friends badly. She didn’t give you that message, right? When you were waiting in the library?”

“No,” I grumble. “She didn’t. But that’s just the most obvious example. She loved rubbing my nose in it.”

“In what?” he asks.

My heart flails, because I realize I said too much. “Nothing.”

“Inwhat?” Dylan whispers, rolling onto his side to look at me.

I look up into his beautiful face. It’srightthere, just inches from mine. And those big brown eyes are regarding me seriously.

“I was jealous, okay?” I whisper. “I wanted what she had.”

Dylan blinks. “You wanted a meaningless sexual relationship with me? That cannotbe true.”

“There you go again,” I say as my pulse pounds in my throat. “Assuming you know what I think. That I couldn’t possibly want what everyone else has. I was jealous. And that night I got drunk? She gave you that whole guilt trip about how the two of you never slept in her bed?”

Dylan winces.

“Yeah, I heard the whole thing. And everything that came afterward, too. She made sure of it. She opened thewindow, Dylan. Just to treat me to an hour of what I imagine porn sounds like.”

He gapes at me. “You’ve never watched porn?”