Page 34 of Heartland

“You have a thing for Chastity.”

“Ohfuck off.”

He makes a clicking sound with his tongue, the way you’d scold a golden retriever. “You’re not usually so dense.”

“I’mnotdense.”

“I know. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

“Do we have any chips?” I ask suddenly. If I have to listen to all Rickie’s theories about me, I might as well not starve.

“I haven’t been to the store.”

Shocker. I reach down and unzip the front of my backpack, pulling out half a dozen apples I grabbed out of a bushel basket on my way out today.

“Ooh, tasty. What are these?”

“Esopus Spitzenburg.”

“Gesundheit.” He laughs and grabs an apple. “You are attracted to Chastity, and it drove Kaitlyn bonkers.”

“Chastity is a lovely girl,” I point out. “But it doesn’t give Kaitlyn a free pass to act like a nutter. Chastity and I are just friends.”

He rolls his eyes. “We have two young women, both attractive to you. One of them you don’t feel much for, but you’ll bang her into next Tuesday. The other one you care for a great deal, but won’t touch. One wonders why you’re so unhappy.”

“Iwasn’tunhappy!” I practically shout. “Everything was fine until Kaitlyn fucked it up.”

“Tell me Chastity doesn’t get you hot.”

“She…” I struggle to figure out how to put it. “She isn’t the kind of girl you can bang into next Tuesday. It doesn’t matter if sometimes that seems like a fun idea.”

He laughs. “Why not?”

“She’s…” It isn’t easy to explain. “Innocent. She grew up in this cult…”

“In Wyoming. I know. Old men porking teenage wives. But that doesn’t make somebody innocent. That makes them unlucky.”

“But she needs time to adjust,” I point out. “There are so many things she doesn’t know. And she’s a good friend, so I wouldn’t ever go there.” I know I’m not making a whole lot of sense. But she’sChastity. I feel evil every time I notice her curves, or have the urge to taste her smile. That’s not how friends are supposed to think about each other.

Rickie shakes his head, like I’m an amusing child. “Eventually, Chastity will learn all the things you don’t want to teach her. She’ll be hanging out in the basement of the multicultural house, and some lacrosse player will sidle up to her. ‘Hey, honey. Love the low-cut top and the innocent smile. Let’s dance. In my bed.”

Well that’s a horrible image. I might actually choke Rickie if this conversation continues. I grab a second apple, lift my backpack and walk out of the room.

Eleven

Chastity

I avoidKaitlyn after I get home on Sunday night. Not like it’s hard. She spends her time locked in her room, listening to angry-sounding music.

But the next evening she disappears for several hours, and I try not to think about why. Maybe Dylan doesn’t care that much that she cheated.

They’re probably having makeup sex, whichCosmoinsists is the best kind.

Anyway, I’m buried in homework. I thought things would start to feel easier, but the opposite is true. I’m only taking four classes, but the work keeps piling higher. Entire books to read between lectures. Quizzes. Essays.

It’s hard to just stay afloat.

Then Wednesday afternoon approaches again. It’s my algebra day with Dylan, but I haven’t heard from my tutor.