Page 50 of Hate the Game (Playing Dirty #1)

***Savannah***

When I woke up the next morning Ryder was gone.

For a second I wondered if I’d made the whole thing up but I had the aches and pains to show for a night with him.

I was still naked, still sticky from the last time he’d come on my lower stomach.

Everything was the same as when I’d finally fallen asleep, except that I was alone.

I looked around for a note and then grabbed my phone to see if he’d left a message but there was nothing.

A cold feeling settled over me as I curled up at the head of my bed.

He’d snuck out. After the night we’d shared he’d snuck out.

Maybe it was stupid but he was only the second guy I’d ever slept with and I at least thought he’d wake me up before he left to say goodbye.

Or maybe thanks? Well, maybe not thanks but something!

I started spiraling almost immediately. I dialed Blaire’s number without looking at the time and started biting my thumb nail. As soon as she answered I just vomited it all up. “I slept with Ryder. All night. But he snuck out. I woke up alone. What does that mean? Blaire?”

She groaned and I could tell I’d woken her up. “You slept with Ryder? Was it good?”

“Have you seen him? Of course, it was good.”

“That’s nice. Tell me about it.”

“Blaire! Did you not hear me? I slept with him and then he snuck out.” I was starting to feel a little hysterical.

“No note, no text, nothing. Why did I do that? Why did I sleep with him? I knew he didn’t really like me so why did I do this?

He’s the second person I’ve slept with and I’m freaking out. ”

She was definitely awake after that. “Shit. Maybe he’s coming back?”

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. We both knew he wasn’t coming back. “I’m so stupid, Blaire. You don’t even know the half of it. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You’re not stupid, Savannah.”

“No, I really am. I think I’m going to go home for the weekend.

” I looked around my room and decided that was the best thing I could do.

I needed to be away from any chance of running into my neighbors.

I hadn’t thought anything through, at all.

I slept with Ryder after hooking up with Jax.

Same day. All while I was supposed to be taking them down.

For something I wasn’t even sure was their fault anymore.

“Yeah, I think I’ll go home. If you need me, just call, okay? I’ll be back on Monday.”

“Are you sure? You could always come here.”

“I need to go home. I just need to recenter myself. I’ll bring you something back. Promise.”

“I hope it’s a cowboy who isn’t afraid of dating a pregnant chick.” She sighed dramatically. “Be careful, Vannah. I’ll see you when you get back.”

I didn’t bother packing clothes because I had a closet full back at home still.

I threw anything absolutely essential into a backpack and bought a ticket while walking out of the dorm.

I took an uber to the airport and tried to keep my mind on anything else.

I didn’t want to obsess over what it meant that Ryder left.

I just wanted to go home for a visit. I wasn’t even going to admit to myself that I was running away from my issues.

I was on the plane during boarding when my phone vibrated and I looked down to see Cash was calling me. I squeezed the phone to my chest and considered not answering. Not after what I’d done with Ryder. Or what I’d done with Jax. Or Cole. “Jesus.”

The man sitting next to me shot me a dirty look and turned so he was nearly giving me his back. Which was impressive in an airplane seat.

I had to answer. I couldn’t ignore his call and then show up. He’d known something was wrong. “Cash? What’s up?”

“Just checking on my baby sis. How’s it going there? Gathered enough dirt to come home yet?”

I bit my lip hard enough to taste blood and looked out the window next to me. “Not just yet. I am coming home for the weekend, though. I had some time and the team has a bye week so I’m sneaking away. I’m on the plane now.”

“Really? That’s amazing. We’re having a little get together at the house tonight so this is perfect. You can come and entertain us with all the ridiculous stories about those assholes.”

My stomach soured. I glanced towards the bathroom and saw there was no way I’d get to it. There were people lining the aisle. I just shoved my head between my knees and took some deep breaths.

“Vannah? You there?”

I wasn’t all that sure if I was or not. It kind of felt like I was stuck in a nightmare. “I’m here. I have to go. The plane’s about to take off. I’ll see you at home, though. Love you!”

I hung up and turned my phone off before shoving it into my backpack. I’d made such a mess of things. I didn’t know what I was going to do but I could feel the walls closing in and I knew I had to do something soon.

Something other than letting The Apex Three become familiar with my vag.

I stuck my head between my knees again and wondered if things wouldn’t be easier if I just opened the plane door once we were in the air and jumped out.