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“Were you planning on buying a ticket to go back to Cardiff, or did you want to get off right here?” A ticket inspector interrupted me before I could rip off all of James’ clothes right there on the train.

“Oh, um, yes. Sorry.” I grabbed James’ hand and pulled him off the train as we ran laughing to the van, too happy with his company to be embarrassed by the public display of affection.

◆◆◆

After the initial rush, it felt a little bit awkward to sit side by side in the van. I was desperate to reach over and touch James, but I knew I’d want to pull over on the side of the little country lane and do things we definitely didn’t want to be caught doing.

“So,” said James.

“So,” I replied.

The silence stretched for a few more awkward seconds. “I’m sorry,” I said - just as James said the same thing.

“What the hell have you got to be sorry for?” he asked.

I suddenly felt pretty stupid, realising he had no idea how awful I had been for the whole 36 hours or so in which I hadn’t seen him.

“Oh, I dunno. Stuff. You?”

“Sorry for bailing - I had to be at the police station for questioning and I realised I had no way to contact you and Nain’s answering machine was full—I was desperate to let you know where I was and that I was safe and that I was sorry that I wasn’t there—”

James stopped abruptly as I leaned over and gave his leg a gentle squeeze. It was the only way I could give him any gentle reassurance as I drove. “It’s OK. I’m glad you’re here now.”

“Me too.”

“How long are you planning to stay? Are you going back to work on Monday?”

“Nope.”

“Have you taken another week off?”

“Nope.” I risked a glance at James, and I could see he was smirking.

“What, then? Extended holiday? Back home before Monday?” I asked.

“Just…drive me to your place and I’ll talk to you there. I’m not sure I want you driving for this conversation.”

“OK…” I wanted to ask lots of questions, but dared not to. My foot pressed down just a bit harder on the accelerator. I tried not to make it too obvious that I was speeding up, but James’ low chuckle near me indicated I’d been rumbled.

I pulled up outside the cottage and once again felt a little bit awkward. Despite my best efforts cleaning the inside, it was obvious from the outside that it had seen better days.

“I love it,” said James. He opened the door to the van and stepped out, then walked to the cottage to press one hand up against the whitewashed stone walls. “This is absolutely gorgeous, and so homely.”

“Let’s get you inside then,” I said with more confidence than I felt. I opened the door and gestured for James to go first. He smiled and trailed one hand along my back as he walked past me and into my home.

“Wow, this is lovely.” James looked around the hallway. “My flat in London was nice, but…never home. This feels like you’ve lived here. Like there’s history.”

“Didn’t you bring a bag?” I asked. I had suddenly noticed the lack of luggage and I worried that he had only come to say goodbye. Would he be going back to London within the day?

“I was mugged, you mug.” James laughed. “I have the shirt on my back. Everything else is at Nain’s where I left it.”

“Oh.” I still wondered if he might be going back to London pretty immediately once he had picked it all up. “So, how long…”

“Can we talk about that in a minute? I’ve got some stuff I want to do first.”

“Like?” I asked.

“You.” James turned to me and kissed me gently. I put one hand on the back of his head and kissed him back, pushing him up against the roughly hewn wall.

James’ hands wandered to my collar and I felt him start to unbutton me. I used my other hand to wander to his arse and pull him even closer and I pressed him hard against the wall.

Oh so clumsily, James pulled at my shirt till it fell off my shoulders and onto the floor.

“Bed?” he muttered between kisses. “Where is it?”

Rather than answer I took my hand from his head and moved it to join the other at the rear.

Linking them, I picked him up and carried him into the bedroom that I had only slept in for the first time the night before, and dropped him onto the bed so he was laying on his back.

I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them off at the same time as his boxers, letting his cock free.

With more confidence than I knew I had, I pushed his t-shirt up towards his head and kissed down his smooth, pale body, nuzzling in towards his balls before licking his shaft.

“Fuck, Llyw. Want it,” he said. I looked up at him briefly. His cheeks were flushed and his head thrown back so that he wasn’t even looking at me.

“You’ve got it,” I said before returning my mouth to his cock.

“No, I want you. Inside me. Now.”

I pulled back. “You sure?” I asked. I knew I was, despite it being my first time, not that he knew that. I would have James however he wanted me.

“Sure. Yes. Now.”

“A man of many words,” I chuckled, trying to sound confident or like I knew what I was doing. I left him lying there whilst I grabbed the supplies I had stashed in the bedside table the night before just in case this happened. I came back to James with condoms and lube in hand.

“I’ll need some preparation if I’m going to take that, though.” James nodded down towards my waist and the very obvious bulge in my jeans and I thought I felt my cheeks heat. Perhaps porn had lied to me about just how average I was.

“Yes, sir.” I kneeled down again at the foot of the bed, pouring lube on my fingers as I did. I slicked them up and took James’ cock in my mouth again as I pushed my middle finger inside him.

“Fuck, yes. Do that. More.” It seemed James was reduced to short sentences wherever pleasure was involved.

I kept his cock in my mouth, bobbing up and down as much as I could without gagging.

I found myself taking it deeper each time.

I added a second finger to his hole as I did, and James just moaned in response.

Without me even touching it, I could feel my cock getting hard.

I did my best to pull my jeans down with my spare hand and managed to get them to my ankles.

“Enough of that unless you want me to finish in your mouth right now. I need you to fuck me.”

James’ assertiveness and that he knew exactly what he wanted was even more of a turn on.

It felt a little bit clumsy as I took my fingers out from him and tried to get the condom on but I managed, and when I looked James was smiling down at me.

“Come here and kiss me,” he said. I moved up his body, still stood on the floor and leaning over him, and kissed him deep and slow.

James bit my lip mid kiss and pulled, and I felt like I was about to finish just from that.

“Fuck me like this,” he said. “I want to see you.” James raised his legs slightly and with a small bit of manoeuvring my cock was at his hole. I used more lube to coat the condom.

“You sure?” I asked. I was nervous, but quivering with excitement.

“Yes, as long as you are. Take it slow.” James kissed me again and I positioned my cock to slide into him slowly.

He hissed as I first breached his hole. “Slow, slow.” I stopped for a second, and then pushed in slower, centimetre by centimetre into his warmth.

After a moment, James groaned out loud as I slid all the way in.

Gently, I pulled out a little again and pushed back. James moaned again. “Yes, like that.”

I rocked into him, back and forth, James’ moans encouraging me to start to move harder and faster.

“Fuck, harder. Faster.”

“I don’t think I can last…” I was embarrassed to admit how close I was already, but everything about James was doing it for me. His body, his face as I fucked him, the tightness around my cock.

“Me too. Come when you need to.” James manoeuvred his hand between us to wrap around his cock.

I found myself pushing his legs back towards him as I pushed harder, faster, deeper.

“Oh, fuck,” said James as he came all over his own body.

Seeing that was enough to push me over the edge and I came inside him, racked with an orgasm more intense than anything I’d ever had before.

James moved his head up to kiss me gently and sweetly as I pulled out.

“Was that…OK?” I asked, hesitantly. It had all felt so right at the time. But James had probably had tens, if not hundreds, of men in his time.

“Yes, it was. More than OK, I mean. It was the best.”

I disposed of the condom and walked to the bathroom to grab a towel, passing it to James before collapsing on the bed next to him.

“Thank you,” I whispered. I kissed him again, with no hurry or agenda — just a sweet, slow kiss that I never wanted to end.

His arm lazily trailed up my stomach and chest as we kissed, and I felt like I was in heaven.

“Don’t need to thank me,” he said. “I’m very keen to do it again sometime.”

“Any time you want,” I replied. And I knew I was hooked on this man after less than a week.

I knew however often he would be coming back wouldn’t be often enough for me, but I’d still yearn for him.

I would still miss him, and any amount of James would never be enough.

But I was at peace with that. I’d waited over 30 years for this.

I could wait weeks or months at a time for it again.

“So how long is it you’re staying?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light and casual.

“As long as you’ll have me,” James replied.

“Ah, I’ll keep you forever,” I joked. Well, half joked. I looped one arm under James’ body and pulled him in closer to me. I had never laid so intimately and openly with someone like this before. The warm, close feeling was almost as good as the sex had been.

“Sounds like a deal.” James shifted closer in again, laying one slender leg over mine. He tucked his head onto my chest. I tried to process what he was saying. Was this some kind of joke? Was he asking me out, wanting to keep this long distance?

James looked up at me with a smile playing at the edges of his lips. “You should see your face,” he said. “You look like you’re stuck on a particularly tough maths question.”

“If that’s what you want to call yourself, so be it,” I said. “But I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m staying here. In Hiraeth. For as long as you and everyone else here can tolerate me.”

My heart — and my brain — skipped a beat for a second. “Here? Hiraeth? For good?”

“You’ll get to a full sentence eventually, I’m sure of it,” James smiled.

“But — what about London? Your job? Your friends? Your flat?”

“I had all of one friend in London, who’s going to use his job in tourism marketing to get to here as often as he can. The property market is insane and I’ll have my flat sublet in a week. Or I’ll pay off my landlord. And my job…fuck it, really. Fuck it all.”

“What are you going to do here?” I was dumbfounded that he could uproot his life like this so quickly.

“Whatever I like. But namely, I’m going to start a little cafe in the empty shop front.

Mr Prentis is selling me it and the flat above for a steal, so I have somewhere to work and somewhere to live.

It took being beaten up in an alleyway, but I’ve realised money and career isn’t everything.

I just want to earn enough to get by and enjoy my life.

I want to be part of a bigger community and I want to have time to do my own thing. ”

“Well that sounds…good,” I said a bit lamely. I wasn’t sure how to bring up the next bit. Man up, supplied my brain unhelpfully. “So…if you’re staying. What…what are we? What am I to you, I mean?”

“Llywelyn Jones, are you asking me out?” James asked. I felt my ears and cheeks heat up.

“Yes,” I said quietly.

“Well,” he replied. “That sounds good to me, partner.”