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Chapter Eight

Llywelyn

I pulled up in the van and beeped the horn. Dinky barked at the horn like she had never heard it before. “Worst guard dog ever,” I said as I scratched under her chin. She just groaned.

James hurried from the house, giving a quick wave over at Glynis. I waved at her from the van and got a curt wave in return. She really had been less outwardly friendly since James and I had started…well, whatever we had started doing.

I wanted to ask him about it, because I had never done this kind of thing before.

But I didn’t want to make things awkward or to stop seeing him, even if we only had a couple of days.

Seeing James made me want more from life.

I wanted to explore outside the village, outside Wales even.

To do that, though, I had to get my act together.

“You’re obviously providing a valuable service, please don’t struggle to survive just to do so,” James had said.

Perhaps he was right. Maybe I could save some money to see him in London, if he would let me.

James hopped into the van and casually kissed me on the cheek. I felt my face warm as I blushed. The last rays of the setting sun shone in to the van, so I knew there was no way he hadn’t seen.

“You look deep in thought,” he said. Dinky had jumped onto his lap and was trying to lick his face.

“Nah, just trying to remember the way,” I lied.

“Where are you taking me then?”

“You’ll see.” I looked over at James and grinned at him. The sunlight framed his face perfectly. God, you’re beautiful. I wanted to say. But I didn’t want to scare him off. Instead, I put the van into gear and sped down the street as fast as I could.

“Do your parents still live around here?” James asked. I felt my heart drop. It had been a while since I’d had to tell anyone this kind of information. I took my foot off the accelerator as we reached the country lanes.

“They died. Car accident.”

“Oh.” I risked a glance over at James. He was looking at me with…pity? I couldn’t tell. “I’m sorry to hear.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Ancient history now.” I tried to act like it was, but there must have been something in my face because James asked the one question I didn’t want him to ask.

“How long ago?”

I hesitated before replying. “Five years.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, Llyw.” James put one hand on my thigh and squeezed. I blinked back any tears that were threatening as I drove.

“It’s fine. It happens to all of us some day.” I focused on the road ahead, and not on the reassuring warm hand.

“Still. If you need to talk, I’m here,” James said. But I knew within days he wouldn’t be and that hurt too.

“Right, moving on. Do you know what day it is tomorrow?”

“Honestly, being here — time has stood still. But…Thursday, right?”I could see him counting in his head for a second “The 25th of January.”

“Yes, Dwynwen’s day.” I said. “Do you know the story?”

James crinkled his face in concentration, like he was trying to dredge up some long forgotten memory. “…no,” he finally admitted. “There’s something….but no.”

The country lanes opened up in front of us to the little car park that no one ever used. I parked the van, hopped out onto the gravel and held my hands out for Dinky. James lifted her into my arms and jumped out the same side.

“So, are you going to tell me about Dwynwen then?” A gust of wind blew in suddenly and he shivered. “God I wish I’d brought my…I mean your coat,” he said.

I turned to open the side door on the van and took it out for him. “I brought it,” I said, trying to pass it over without it seeming like a big kind of deal.

“Thank you.” James pulled the coat on over his jumper and zipped it up all the way to his neck. I threaded my fingers through his and led him past the little car park and beyond.

In front of us, the sun was setting over what looked to be a field.

I led James further onward, until he could see where we were.

What looked like sharp stones pushed up through the grass at random intervals.

As we walked further forwards the stones pushed up more and more until it was more obvious what they were - ancient ruins.

When we reached the final, most complete part of the ruins I heard James gasp slightly.

Of the whole ancient structure a singular wall with one window in it survived.

The glass, if there ever had been any, was long since gone, but at the right angle the dying sunlight shone through.

As we approached ever closer, the noise of waves became audible.

I tugged James the last couple of metres toward the window.

Through the wall, it became obvious that we weren’t in a field but at the top of a cliff.

Below, the Bay of Cardigan glinted in the last rays of the sunlight and waves crashed up against the rocks.

The wall was almost at the very edge of the cliff.

“It never used to be this close when I was younger,” I said. “The cliff edge must have eroded by at least a metre in the last twenty years.”

James took a small step back, but I held on to him with one hand. Dinky put her paws up onto the sill of the window to look through and barked at the sea below. We both chuckled.

“It’s beautiful,” James said.

“It is. And it’ll all be gone much too soon,” I replied. His hand squeezed mine briefly, and I realised the unintended connotation I had made.

“So, Dwynwen?” James asked. I sat on the edge of the window and he tentatively joined me.

“Where do I start?” I said, like I hadn’t heard the story a million times before. I remembered exactly how Mam used to tell the story. I put one hand over James’ and held on. “Dwynwen, they say, was a woman in love. In love with a young man called Maelon Dafodrill.”

“Daffodil?” smirked James. “Like the flower?”

“What are you, twelve? Dafodrill ,” I teased.

“Anyway, she met this young man, Maelon. Who wanted to propose. But because she had been promised to someone else, she couldn’t say yes.

They were both devastated, so much so that Dwynwen wished she could forget him, so that she would no longer love him.

“She was visited by an angel, who gave her a potion to grant this wish, When Dwynwen drank it, Maelon turned to ice. Naturally, her feelings were not dimmed.”

“Even if he gave her the cold shoulder?” said James. He grinned, and I nudged him gently before continuing.

“So God gave Dwynwen three wishes. Her first was that Maelon be thawed. Her second was that God would help all true lovers, and the third…” I paused for dramatic effect. I didn’t think I’d spoken so much around James before, but the old stories got me fired up.

“The third?” he pushed.

“That she never marry, and remain a virgin. God granted this wish too, and she set up a convent all the way over on Llanddwyn island, some 70 miles north. She stayed a nun, never married. Kept her promise to God.”

“Gosh, that’s…sad, beautiful? I don’t know, really.”

“I think it’s beautiful. She gave up her own chance to get married and be in love in exchange for the promise that all true lovers would be helped,” I said. “ Dydd Santes Dwynwen, or St. Dwynwen’s Day, is celebrated every year on January 25th in Wales, as our equivalent to Valentine’s Day.”

“So you took me on a date to some ruins the day before Welsh Valentine’s Day?” James asked. He seemed to be daring me to admit any significance.

I tugged on both his hands to stand him up.

The sun’s last rays were just peeking over the horizon, the sky above going from orange to red to deep purple.

“No one knows why, but we in Hiraeth call these ruins Dwynwen’s window.

They say if you look out through this window, over the sea as the sun sets, you’ll never be unlucky in love. Sweet, right?”

“Very,” James agreed. He leaned up on his tip-toes and kissed me gently on the lips.

My eyes widened. “James, you didn’t let me finish! They say if you kiss someone at Dwynwen’s Window, then you’ll always be unlucky in love and die alone! My great-grandmother never married or had kids after kissing her lover up here!”

“Seriously?” James looked slightly scared for a second, but then his eyes narrowed. “Your great-grandmother didn’t have any kids, ey? So where did your grandparents come from?”

“Grown from an evil Welsh curse,” I laughed. “We’re all cursed, doomed!”

“Oh, shut up,” James said and then pulled me in for a much longer, deeper kiss. “Curse me all you like.”

“Certainly sir.” I moved to kiss him again but Dinky started to scratch at our legs. James laughed and picked her up.

“You want kisses too, do you lovely?” he asked. She licked at his face and he held her at arms length to give me another little kiss. “No chance of dying a virgin for me, anyway. That ship sailed a long time ago.”

“How long ago…that is, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Not at all. I was sixteen, with a boy from my maths class. How about you?”

I braced myself to answer. I knew he would ask if I had, but I had to admit it. “Not yet,” I said quietly.

“Pardon?”

“I…still haven’t. I’m 31 years old and a virgin,” I said.

“No, really?” James seemed incredulous.

“I know, I know. Embarrassing.” I sat back down in Dwynwen’s Window. The sun had dipped below the horizon and it was getting colder.

“Not embarrassing at all,” James said, sitting down next to me. “It’ll happen when it happens…anyway, that kind of sex isn’t the be all and end all. You were pretty receptive in the cave last night.”

I felt my cheeks warm despite the cold. “Well, when you put it that way…” I remembered how James had looked on his knees for me. I shifted the way I sat. “I just wish I’d had more than quick fumbles in the dark. I’d love to wake up in someone’s arms.”

“That can be arranged…” James grinned. “C’mon, it’s freezing. Let’s go for a walk.”