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“You’d think,” I said. “But I think it’s only because I live in the world’s slowest town. I couldn’t cope a day in London.”

“Neither can I,” James chuckled ruefully. “Some days I just want to fly away from there and never go back.”

“So why don’t you?” I asked more forcefully than intended.

“Because…” James hesitated for a second, took another sip. “Because…I want to be successful. To make my parents proud. To earn my way in the world.”

“And you couldn’t do that somewhere else?” I asked. I realised how that might sound to him, so I quickly changed tact. “Not here, I mean. Anywhere but here.” Smooth, stupid.

James took another long sip through the straw, and I looked down at my nails to stop focusing on his lips. He finally spoke, and I looked up at him. “I could, I guess. Just not what my parents would ever have expected of me. Not what I expect of me.”

“Go on then,” I replied. “Tell me what you would do if you could do anything else.”

“I don’t want to sound stupid,” James said for the second time that night.

“Nothing you say to me is going to sound stupid,” I said.

“No?” James stopped for a second. “I wanted to run a little bookshop, or a cafe, or both. Just serve coffee, recommend books I think people will love, don’t pressure anyone out of the shop. That would be perfect, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. So why not?”

“Because the rent in London is extortionate, and despite 12 hours a day 5 days a week for the last 5 years I’ve only just scraped five figures in savings.”

I almost spat my beer out. “Only 5 figures? I might have just about a hundred quid in my account on a good day!”

James gave me an inscrutable look. Pity? I couldn’t tell. I felt a bit stupid, throwing out there just how poor I was.

“Anyway, that’s me. What would you do if you could?”

Now I felt even more embarrassed, but I couldn’t hold back after James had just laid his dreams on the table.

“I’m…happy here. And I know I should be more ambitious, or have big dreams to put out there, but I don’t.

I wouldn’t mind a bit more money coming in, an extension on my bungalow, fix up some central heating…

but I don’t want the world. I just want happiness here in Hiraeth. ”

“And is that all it would take to make you happier here? An extension and central heating?” James’ eyes seemed to look into my soul.

“No,” I admitted. I finished the dregs of my beer before continuing. “It would be nice to be a bit less lonely.”

James was quiet then. In an attempt to fill the silence I took out a menu from the little stand on the table and looked through quickly.

It was only recently the pub had started to do food at all, and it was rustic at best. I worried that James would be used to Michelin star restaurants and gourmet food.

James craned his head to read the menu in my hand. “Oh, I’ll have the stacked burger. Sounds lush.” He looked up and blushed.

“Lush?” I smiled. “Well, you can take the boy out of Wales…”

“Shut up,” he grinned. I pushed my chair back to go to the bar to order and noticed his empty drink. “I’ll go and order. Am I OK to grab your next drink, or would you like to?”

“If you could, that would be nice.” James said quietly.

I headed to the bar to grab the next round.

◆◆◆

A couple of hours later, bellies full and heads light, we both exited the pub. James pulled his borrowed coat around himself and shivered. “Even colder,” he said. His eyes looked a little glazed under the moonlight, but I knew mine would be too.

“Let me walk you back to your Nain’s place,” I said.

“Not yours?” I thought I heard him mutter. I wasn’t sure though, so didn’t reply in case I had heard wrong. We both turned simultaneously and walked back down Main Street. After some moments James threaded his fingers through mine and we held hands as we passed the row of closed shops.

“Can we head down to by the beach?” he asked. “That is, unless you have somewhere you need to be. I just liked being there with you last night.”

“No, no. I have time.” I looked down at my watch. It was 10pm. Almost bedtime , I thought, then mentally slapped myself. How old was I, 103?

When we reached the sea wall, the tide was in its way out. The sand still looked wet, but James tugged at my hand and we descended the steps to the sand. One of the bigger caves loomed dark and foreboding to the side, cut into the black cliff and seeming like an even darker blot in the night.

“I told you I always wanted to see the caves but Mum and dad wouldn’t let me,” James said. He gave my hand a little tug to make sure I was following him.

“I know that, but isn’t it a bit dangerous to go scrambling over rocks when we’ve both had a…” I started, but James was already climbing up to the cave mouth. I sighed, and did my best to follow him.

I caught up to him at the entrance to the cave. He was trying to look in, but the moonlight hardly lit up the inside.

“Hello?” I called in. “Is there anyone in there?”

I waited for a reply, but no one shouted back out.

“Who’s going to be in there at this time?” James asked.

“Why do you think all the teenagers used to come to the caves? It’s a prime spot to mess around.”

“Did you?” James asked.

I blushed. “No…I only ever messed about with my best mate, but we were too scared of getting caught to do it out here. We just used to take the keys to one of the hotel rooms when his Mum was out.”

James took a cautious step into the darkness, seemingly already moving on from the topic. “Have you got a light?” he asked.

I took my phone out and shone the torch into the cave. James wandered inwards without fear, then turned to look back at me. His teeth shone white as he grinned back at me in the torchlight.

“Come on,” he said. The inside of the cave was still wet and slippy from the tide, so he braced one hand on the wall for support.

He found a little ledge and perched on it.

He looked around the cave in wonder. I joined him where he sat and moved the torch so that he could see all around the cave.

I put the phone down next to him on the little ledge and the light made weird shapes on the walls.

“You OK?” I asked. James looked a little bit spaced out.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s just been a weird couple of days. I don’t know which way is up half the time.”

“Well whatever you need, whether you want to talk or not. I’m here.”

“Thank you,” he said. James stood then, and his body was so close he was almost pressed against me. In front of the phone’s light he was just a black silhouette. He stood on his tip-toes and threaded the fingers of one hand through my hair to pull my lips down to his.

The kiss started off hesitant as each of our cold lips touched, but quickly heated up as we did.

With confidence and dominance I didn’t know I had, I put one hand behind his head and pushed him up against the cold cave wall.

I slipped my tongue into his mouth and he moaned, which only made me kiss deeper and harder.

Our teeth clashed as we deepened the kiss, and James’ free hand snuck under my shirt.

It was so cold that I hissed and pulled back before going in for more.

“God, you’re sexy,” James said between kisses. His free hand snuck down to palm me over my jeans. I was rock hard and responded to his touch by pressing up against him harder, his hand a barrier between both of our erections.

I felt his hand start to slip below my belt, cold fingers reaching down towards my cock.

I did my best to unbuckle my belt with one hand, to give him access.

Once I had clumsily managed that, I reached for James’ top button to undo his jeans but he batted my hand away.

The hand that had been tangled in my hair came down to help his other hand in undoing my trousers, and he wrapped his cold fingers around me.

“Fuck,“ I hissed, both at his touch and at the sudden cold.

James pulled away from me slightly. “So you never messed around in here as a teenager, no?”

“No,” I whispered back.

“Let me really make up for it then.” James sank to a crouch on the floor and freed my cock from the confines of my jeans. The cold air hit it straight away and I instinctively flinched backward, but James put one hand on my arse and pulled me forwards, replacing cold air with a warm mouth.

It had been a long time. Years, in fact, since Tudor and I had last messed around.

And I knew it had never been this good. I looked down to see James with lips wrapped around my cock in the weak light of my phone and I nearly came then and there.

His head bobbed up and down, almost taking the whole length before gagging and pulling back.

He pulled back off me briefly, and looked up at me. “Even bigger than I thought,” he said quietly. He pushed his lips back onto my cock and I could feel myself getting closer.

“Fuck, I’m going to-” I tried pulling away, but James’ hand on my arse pulled me back in as he continued to work his magic.

I could feel my release building, my balls pulling up tighter toward my body as he licked up and down the shaft.

I groaned as I came, holding myself to the wall to stop my legs going from under me.

James carried on sucking as I finished. I heard him gag and when I looked down there were tears in his eyes. I pulled out of his mouth and sank down to his level. I took his face in my hands.

“Is everything OK?” I asked.

“Of course,” James smiled as he wiped the water away. “I really liked that.”

“Let me…” I started to move toward his zipper but James stopped me.

“Nah, I like pleasuring you,” he said. I thought I saw him blush in the darkness and he dipped his head to not keep eye contact. “You can do me another time.”

“Sure?” I asked. I tucked myself back into my jeans as the cold air started to effect me.

“I’m sure.” James pulled me in for a kiss. I don’t know how long we both crouched in the cave like that in an intimate embrace, but by the time we had finished kissing my hands were freezing and my lips were chapped. Only my mouth and cheeks felt warm and we were both shivering.

“Can I walk you home?” I pulled James to his feet.

“Yes, I’d like that.”