Page 16 of Generally Hospitable (Good To The Last Demon #7)

CHAPTER TEN

Unfortunately, Moon didn’t have to lure the evil guards out with her hummed rendition of The Bitch Is Back.

All fifty-seven of them were waiting for us as we entered my castle.

The grand foyer was filled with flaming assholes, all ready to kill.

The scent of sulfur was noxious. Had my sense of smell increased substantially since I found out I was pregnant?

Maybe. Even though Lily had been in my incubator for less than a month, she was already growing rapidly.

Anything was possible now that I had become a Goddess.

I put my hand over my mouth when my gag reflex kicked in hard, and it took a massive effort not to hurl.

Abaddon, noticing my predicament, pushed me behind him as the enemy advanced. “Stay back, Cecily. You look like a ghost. We’ve got this.”

I gave him a weak nod. Holding my breath, I moved back to the open door where fresh air awaited. This was bullshit, I thought, as I exhaled noisily. I was furious with my body. I was the Goddess in charge, and I couldn’t fight because I was nauseated.

“Attack,” Abaddon bellowed as my people advanced on Chub Chub Wang’s.

There was barely room for all of us in the foyer. It was a large area, but there were over a hundred and fifty Demons battling inside. If I couldn’t fight just yet, I could still be useful.

“Irma, Corny, Stella and Jonny,” I called out in my mind. “Be ready to storm. We’re in the foyer fighting off the guards. If I need backup, be poised and ready. In fact, get everyone’s asses to the castle. I want you close. But stay outside until I call you in.”

“On it.” Irma let me know. “Moving now.”

The rumbling in my stomach and my gag reflex were getting worse. I considered a nose plug, but the stench had crept up and embedded in my freaking nostrils. There was no escaping it now.

I turned back to the battle. Abaddon was a Demon on fire.

Literally. He was so pissed off, he was covered in flames and going after the enemy like a rabid animal.

I watched as Chub Chub’s people did their best to avoid the love of my life.

Abaddon would not be avoided. My man defined the word badass.

“Ask me,” an unfamiliar voice whispered in my ear. It was soft yet masculine and sounded kind.

I whipped around to see who was behind me. No one was behind me.

“Ask me,” the voice repeated.

I was for sure losing it, but when in Rome… “Umm… whose there? Who is talking to me?”

“Ask me what you want. I will grant it.”

“Define grant,” I said, still looking around to see who was speaking to me.

“Like I’ve already done, Bitch Goddess Cecily,” the voice said warmly. “You asked and you received.”

The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

My castle. My castle was talking to me… At least, I thought it was.

“Umm… do you have a name?” I questioned as I watched the battle unfold in front of me.

We were on top, but the enemy was insanely strong.

I wasn’t sure how much longer we could go without losing people.

If I opened up the floor in the foyer there was a very good chance that I’d suck some of my own people into the abyss of the Netherworld. That wasn’t a fine plan.

“I have no name,” the voice said. “I permit you to choose one for me.”

“Okay,” I said, going with it. I mean, why not? I had nothing to lose and possibly something to gain. I wasn’t sure what, but that didn’t matter.

“Do you like Jim?”

“No.”

I tried again. “Steve?”

“No.”

Clearly, the castle had something in mind. I just had to figure it out… or maybe not. “How about this?” I posed. “I would like to command you to choose your name.”

The voice chuckled. He seemed like a sweet soul. Now, there was no way in hell I was going to torch the place. It could talk for the love of everything bizarre.

“I quite like the name Earl,” he told me.

“Earl it is,” I replied. “And, Earl, I have a favor to ask.”

“Ask.”

“Would it be possible for you to de-stink the flaming assholes? They’re gaining ground on my people and I need to fight. The stench is messing with me since I’m pregnant.”

“Congratulations!” Earl said.

“Thank you. Can you do something about the rank smell, Earl?”

“As you wish,” he replied.

A flash of lightning exploded overhead. The battle didn’t slow down for even a heartbeat. I covered my face so I wouldn’t get impaled by the chandelier that dropped from the ceiling and crashed to the floor about two feet away.

“Done, Bitch Goddess Cecily. I will be ready and waiting for your next command. Earl, out.”

“That was crazy,” I muttered as I cautiously sniffed the air. Earl was a freaking rockstar. It smelled like fresh laundry right off the line on a sunny summer day. My castle was a genius. The party was in motion, and I’d been a wallflower. That shit was ending now.

My people were bleeding and appendages were all over the place—theirs and ours. It was time to join in on the fun. Not fun for the bad guys, but a ton of fun for me.

“My people in the foyer,” I commanded. “Herd the flaming assholes together the best you can in the center of the room, then back away quickly. GO. NOW!”

My loyal army worked with balletic precision. When the evil ones were in the center of the foyer, Moon spat in the air and created a circle of fire around them. It wouldn’t keep them down for long, but all I needed was a small opening. My people had given me that.

Pulling strength from every part of my body, I centered myself and focused on the abominations in the middle of the fire.

I was about to go experimental. I’d done it before and it had worked.

I was counting on it working again. Raising my arms over my head, I screamed.

The sound reverberated through my body like a bomb, shook the floor beneath me.

My body went up in flames and I smiled. The enchanted fire that covered me felt like a comfortable, well-worn sweatshirt.

It was every kind of wonderfully right. Slashing my arms to my sides, the remaining Demons in Chub Chub Wang’s pared-down army exploded like blood-filled ticks.

The green goo and partial charred body parts scattered all over the foyer made my stomach roil, but if you played stupid games, you won stupid prizes.

The silence after the battle was only broken by Moon getting jiggy with what was left of the ornate couch that had been in the foyer.

Everyone turned away in horror. Moon didn’t care.

It had become increasingly clear that battles made the Demon horny.

Whatever. She could hump that couch until the cows came home. I had more work in front of me.

Abaddon and Tiny were by my side immediately. Abaddon checked me over with concern. I had a feeling the next nine months, if this pregnancy took that long, were going to consist of my Demon being worried about me 24/7. We’d have a chat about it later.

“We need to find Pandora,” I said as a new urgency consumed me. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my connection with the Goddess, and she was doing poorly, or if I was just worried about my friend. No use in trying to figure it out. It was what it was. And it was time to find her.

“Can you feel her?” Abaddon asked.

I shook my head. “No, but here’s what we’ll do. I’m bringing Irma’s Demons into the castle. They’ll divide up and clear the rooms. We’ll do the same. With that many of our people searching, it will go faster.”

“Outstanding,” Abaddon agreed.

I quickly sent out a message to Irma. She was inside two seconds later. We had almost a thousand people looking for her. The hunt for Pandora had begun.

“Follow me,” I told Tiny and Abaddon. “We’ll hit the second floor.”

One hour later, and no one had found Pandora or Chub Chub Wang. It didn’t help that the castle was massive. Part of me wondered if she and the false god were still in the castle, but my gut told me she was here. I could feel her, but I couldn’t communicate with her. That worried me.

With every minute that passed, Tiny grew more agitated. The Demon was like a ticking time bomb. Good luck to Chub Chub Wang when Tiny got ahold of him.

“Talk,” Tiny insisted. “Please, someone talk about something… anything. My brain needs a break from fantasizing about breaking every single bone in Chub Chub Wang’s body, then peeling his skin off, shitting down this throat, then ripping his entrails out and stuffing them in with the shit before I rip his head off with my bare hands. ”

“Wow,” I said, impressed that he had an entire plan. It was gross and disgusting, but Chub Chub deserved no less. “Here’s something crazy. My castle’s name is Earl, and I can talk to him.”

Abaddon stopped me in my tracks and put his hand on my forehead. I laughed and slapped it away.

“I am not delirious,” I told him. “I don’t have a fever, and while it’s debatable if I’m sane or not, I’m telling the truth.”

I was pretty sure neither of them believed me.

Rolling my eyes, I kept talking to prove them wrong. “Did either of you notice when the foyer went from smelling like rotten eggs and farts to sunshine and clean laundry?”

Tiny gaped at me. “I do.”

Abaddon was still doubtful, but seemed a little more open to the idea. “I do as well. That was…”

“Earl,” I supplied. “He started the conversation. I was sure I was crazy, but he was so sweet, I went with it. I really like the guy. He even congratulated me on the pregnancy.”

“Earl?” Abaddon pressed. “You named him Earl?”

I laughed. “Nope. I made him choose his own name. He chose Earl.”

“Can you see him?” Abaddon asked.

“No. I can only hear him.”

Tiny grabbed both me and Abaddon by the arms. His face was suffused with excitement and hope. “Ask him.”

“Ask who?” I said, worried for my friend.

“Ask Earl,” he insisted.

“Ask Earl what?” I actually considered sending Tiny back outside. This was entirely too much for him.

“Ask Earl to help us find Pandora,” he said. “Please.”

Maybe I should’ve been the one sent outside. Why in the actual hell hadn’t I thought of that? If Pandora had perished in the last hour, that shit was fully on me.

“Earl? Earl, can you hear me?”

“Ask,” he replied in his gentle voice. “Ask what you want from me.”

I glanced over at Tiny and Abaddon. It was clear I was the only one who could hear him. That made sense. It was my castle.

“Help me find Pandora,” I begged. “She’s a Goddess of the Darkness, and is being held by Decatalian. We need to find her before he harms her.”

“The evil one has already harmed the Goddess,” Earl told me. “I’m so sorry to share that with you. I know she is your friend.”

My gut tightened and my head pounded. “Is she alive?”

“Barely,” Earl shared. “If you find her soon, she will live. If not…”

“Can you help me?”

“As you wish, Bitch Goddess Cecily,” he said. “Down the hallway in front of you, all the way to the end. Take a right, then an immediate left.”

I started running before Earl had finished the directions. Abaddon and Tiny were right on my heels.

Earl continued. “Go three doors down. That is where you will find the Goddess. Be careful. The room is filled with traps.”

“Thank you, Earl,” I said.

“You’re welcome. Earl, out.”

“There!” I said, coming to an abrupt halt right in front of the door Earl had described. “She’s in there. I don’t know if Chub Chub is with her or not, but I don’t care. Let the bastard get away. I’ll find him later and destroy him.”

Tiny went for the knob, and I placed my hand over his. “Earl said the room is filled with traps. We have to be careful.”

Tiny nodded jerkily. Abaddon gave my shoulder a squeeze.

“I apologize for not believing you, Cecily,” he said softly.

“No worries,” I told him. “A talking castle is a little out there even for me.”

It was time to go in and put an end to the madness.

The door opened on its own, but it was impossible to see inside.

When Tiny went to enter, he was thrown back.

His huge frame slammed into the wall with a painful-sounding thud.

Same with Abaddon. Tiny tried three more times without success.

We were back to square one. Only I was allowed to enter.

It started with me and Pandora in the castle, and it would end that way. It was fittingly terrifying.

“It’s all good,” I told Abaddon who looked like he was about to freak the hell out.

“It’s not,” he insisted. “What if the Higher Power is in there, knowing full well you’d come back for Pandora? It could end both of you. Have you considered that?”

I had not.

Tiny walked over to me and handed me a jewel-encrusted dagger.

“Cut me,” he insisted, holding his palm out.

I have strength that you do not. You are far more magical than me, but I have the stamina of twenty Demons.

Let me give that to you. It would be my honor to serve you in that way, Bitch Goddess Cecily.

Please, take some of my blood. Take my magic. Take my power. Save the woman I love.”

Abaddon took the dagger from me and sliced both of my palms open.

Bright red blood gushed from the wounds and dripped down my arms. It was macabre and stunning at the same time.

He made quick work of his own palm and then Tiny’s.

Without any words, we knew what to do. Abaddon took my right hand and pressed his palm to mine.

Tiny took my left. The rush of power that danced through my veins made me lightheaded.

We stayed connected for several minutes as their magic intertwined with mine.

When it was over, the gashes closed quickly.

This had to be what it felt like to be pumped up on steroids, speed, adrenaline and a vat of coffee. It was surreal.

“You okay?” Abaddon questioned. “Looking a little off.”

I rolled my neck and cracked my knuckles. “I think I’m good. Never had this much mojo before. Hang on a sec. Lemme test it.”

Walking a couple doors down, I found the perfect spot on the wall to test my strength.

There was a large, famed painting of Chub Chub Wang sitting on my throne.

That shit had to go. I reared back and punched it.

My hand went clean through Chub’s face and about seven inches deep into rock-hard plaster, turning the painting to dust and taking out a large chunk of the wall.

I pulled back and looked at my hand. Not a single mark on it, and it didn’t hurt at all.

When I turned back to the guys, they were both impressed and shocked.

“I’m good to go,” I said, giving Abaddon a kiss and Tiny a hug. “I’ll be out soon. I promise.”

“Keep that promise,” Abaddon said gruffly. “The alternative is unacceptable.”

“Roger that.”

I entered the room.

I had no clue what awaited me, but I only had one goal. Get Pandora out alive. And I was going to succeed.