Page 15 of Generally Hospitable (Good To The Last Demon #7)

CHAPTER NINE

The transport back to the Darkness had been no less painful than the one we’d taken to Earth.

That was irrelevant. No pain, no gain. We had too much to lose to worry about personal comfort.

It was just Abaddon and me who returned.

Cher and Fifi had stayed back. Fifi had protested, of course, but I’d stood firm.

This was boiling down to a Demon issue. I didn’t want an Angel and a Succubus who meant the world to me to go down in the fight.

We materialized in the tree line where my people kept watch on the castle.

Tiny, Irma, Jonny, Corny, Stella and Moon reported in immediately.

No one had tried to enter the castle, and no one had tried to leave.

Gathering them close, I put it all on the table.

I needed my generals to be with me so the army would follow.

“Let me speak first,” I said. “Questions after.”

They nodded and waited.

“This is far bigger than we originally thought. Chub Chub Wang is just a cog in the wheel. Granted, he’s dangerous, but he’s not the mastermind.

He’s not behind the death magic. He’s not that powerful.

The Higher Power is behind all of it.” The look of shock on their faces was not a surprise.

I’d reacted the same way. “There’s a triad of Immortals who are destined to take the Higher Power’s place.

They’re alive now and ready. We believe It knows this and has nothing left to lose.

And if we don’t stop It, everyone and everything is going down—I’m talking the entire universe, not just the Darkness.

Someone with nothing to lose or live for is about as dangerous as a being can get.

If the Higher Power can successfully take out both Goddesses of the Darkness, the end will come.

” I looked around at their familiar faces, then nodded.

“Okay. Ask me questions.”

“Is the Higher Power in the castle?” Irma asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “However, if we take Chub Chub out, I believe there’s a fine chance It will show Its ass.”

“Roger that,” Irma said.

“Do we know if there are more guards in the castle?” Tiny asked, doing his very best to keep his shit together.

“I don’t know,” I told him.

“However,” Jonny chimed in. “We do.”

I could have kissed the dummy. I’d forgotten he’d said they’d been spying inside the castle before they’d revealed themselves to me in the throne room.

“Out with it,” Abaddon told him.

Jonny was all over it. “Tell me approximately how many guards were taken down outside of the castle?”

“Eight hundred,” Tiny answered.

Corny chimed in. “There were twelve that Cecily had sucked into the abyss of the Netherworld, so that means Chub Chub is down eight hundred and twelve soldiers.”

“What exactly does sucked into the abyss of the Netherworld mean?” Tiny asked, perplexed.

I clapped him on the back. “Good story for another time,” I told him, turning my attention back to the spies I adored. “How many does that leave him with?”

Moon answered. “That Chub Chub is one dumb asshole,” she said with a chuckle. “Can’t believe he used eight hundred on the outside.”

“It’s a given that Chub’s mental prowess isn’t great. He’s as stupid as they come, but let’s stay on topic,” I said, getting impatient. Now that I had the pieces, I wanted to put them together as quickly as possible. “How many more soldiers does he have inside?”

“Fifty-seven,” Stella confirmed. “Chub Chub’s stupid ass originally had eight hundred and sixty-nine soldiers. He chose that number because of the sexual connotation of sixty-nine, further proving the Demon is a pig. If you do the math, he’s left with fifty-seven smelly flaming assholes.”

“Odds are in our favor,” Moon said, giving everyone a thumbs up and a hip thrust. “They have fifty-seven plus one brainless leader, and we have over four thousand. Slam dunk!”

“Not so fast,” I told her. “While part of the plan is ending the lives of all who worship him, the main goal is getting Pandora safely out. And of course, destroying Chub Chub Wang is also at the top of the list, but Pandora’s rescue has to come first.”

Tiny couldn’t look at me with his next question. “Do you think she’s still alive since the Higher Power has nothing to lose and wants both of you dead?” His voice was low and hoarse. He simultaneously wanted my answer and didn’t at the same time.

I didn’t want to tell him that Chub Chub Wang might succeed in ending Pandora before the Higher Power did. But the faster we went in the faster we could get to her.

“Here’s my truthful answer, Tiny. She’s still alive.

We have a connection and I would know…” I told him, placing my hand on his huge shoulder.

“But she asked me to give you a message—Pandora told me to tell you if she didn’t make it out that she was sorry that she wouldn’t get to go on a sushi date with you.

She wanted you to know it was the only thing in this world she was looking forward to. ”

Tiny’s tears fell freely. He didn’t try to hide them and he felt no shame.

Corny, Irma, Moon, Stella and Jonny wrapped the huge man named Tiny in a group hug.

“Then we need to make sure we get to her before it’s too late and then she’s gonna get her sushi date,” he grunted out, his voice thick with emotion.

“That plan works for me,” I told the big man.

Abaddon took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Tiny hadn’t known Pandora long, but the Demon had fallen hard. I would be in pieces if I lost Abaddon.

“Okay, my friends, it’s time to go,” I said softly. “Any more questions?”

Tiny wiped away his tears and stepped forward. “I would like your permission to be the one to destroy Chub Chub Wang. If Pandora is still alive when we find him, it will be my gift to her. If she has perished, it will be my revenge for her.” The Demon bowed low and waited for my answer.

“Are you willing to shit down his throat before you end him?” I questioned.

My small posse of trusted Demons looked at me like I’d finally gone and lost it. Even Abaddon gave me a strange look. The truth was that I probably had lost it, but not on the shit down the throat part. That was payback, and I wanted it.

“I am willing to do that,” Tiny assured me. “Am I to gather that there’s a reason for this rather unusual request?”

“Yep. Chub Chub threatened repeatedly to shit down my throat before he decapitated me.”

“Hang on,” Abaddon said, furious. “Tiny, you can take the first dump, but I will take the second.”

“Works for me,” Tiny said, shaking Abaddon’s hand.

Note to self. Do not watch my lover take a shit down Chub Chub’s throat. While the sentiment is lovely, the visual would be too much to take. Decades of therapy and all the brain bleach in the world wouldn’t be able to wipe that one from my frontal lobe.

“Moving on. Here’s the plan,” I said, scanning the area around the castle.

“And keep in mind, plans can change on a dime. I’ll reach out to you via mind speak when necessary.

Tiny, Moon and Abaddon will be with me. I’ll take a hundred of our soldiers with me.

Irma, Jonny, Stella and Corny, you will divide up the rest of the army equally and storm the castle from all sides on my command.

I’ll order the castle to open all doors and create more so we can enter and exit with ease.

I’ll also command that every single door and hidden room in the castle is open and available. ”

“You can do that?” Tiny asked.

“Dude, she fucking opened the floor and sucked the flaming assholes into the abyss of the Netherworld,” Stella reminded him. “Opening doors will be a piece of cake!”

“Roger that—all of it, Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Corny said with a salute. “Shall we gather our regiments?”

“Yes. Go now and be ready,” I instructed.

Tiny had quickly hand-picked the hundred who stayed with us. They were ready.

“Moon,” I said as we prepared to sprint to the castle. “Once inside, we’ll separate. You’ll take the hundred warriors with you and then use your Pied Piper hum to draw the bad guys to you. When they get there, do your thing.”

She tilted her head. “You mean hump furniture?”

“No. No, I do not mean hump furniture. I mean kill the bastards.” Maybe choosing Moon wasn’t the best plan…

“Got it! Kill then hump.”

I didn’t correct her. Time wasn’t on our side.

“On three,” I said. “One. Two. Three!”

We broke our huddle, then ran toward the castle, moving so fast that we were invisible to the naked eye.

If Chub Chub Wang or any of his followers had been looking out of the windows, they wouldn’t have noticed that death in the form of a Bitch Goddess Cecily and her army was coming for them. And that was just the way I wanted it.

We arrived at the destination in exactly three seconds flat. Sometimes being a Demon did not suck. I motioned for my soldiers to plaster themselves against the building. They complied immediately.

“Pandora,” I called out in my mind. “I’m here. Can you hear me?”

There was no answer. That wasn’t good, but I knew from our connection that she wasn’t dead. Not yet. She was still alive.

“Let’s get this party started,” I said as I stood in front of my castle. Candy told me to be the badass. I was going to make her proud. “I command you to open every door to the castle—both inside and out. NOW!”

Slowly but surely, the doors opened. That wasn’t enough.

“Castle, create more doors,” I shouted. One every ten feet on the outer walls. NOW!”

Again, slow but sure.

Just one more request. “Castle, on my command, you will reveal every hidden passageway and room. I will be able to see everything in MY castle. Nothing will be hidden from me. If you comply, I won’t torch you. You have my word. Follow my order. NOW!”

The entire castle rocked on its foundation for a brief moment, then stilled. I was filled with a clarity that hadn’t been there a second before. Good. It was time to go in.

“Moon, go to the left with the army when we enter. Tiny, Abaddon and I will go right.”

“On it,” she said. “Any requests on the song you’d like me to hum?”

I grinned. There was a perfect song that would fit the bill… “Elton John. The Bitch Is Back, please.”

Moon laughed. “Can do. Will do, Bitch Goddess Cecily!”

Abaddon chuckled. Tiny smiled.

“You ready,” Abaddon asked.

“I am. You?”

“Born that way.”

“Let’s do it.”