Page 50 of Forever Finn

“Hey, Carey.” Deacon grins. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” he says reluctantly. “Congratulations on the wedding by the way.”

“Thanks.” Deacon beams. “This is my husband, Jesse.”

Jesse nods at the pretty man. “And you are?”

“That one’s long-suffering PA.” He points at Kyan. “I have the thankless task of trying to keep him in line but really it’s mostly just damage control.”

“Seriously, Carey.” Kyan tilts his head as a small smile tugs at his lips. “How did you find me?”

“Because one of us actually takes their job seriously,” he sighs. “Come on, I’ve arranged access to the press conference. Stand at the back and keep your mouths shut.” Kyan opens his mouth. “Shut,” Carey says pointedly and turns on his heel, strutting into the hotel’s main entrance.

“Oh, I like him.” Jesse follows behind him with Deacon in tow.

“Your PA needs a raise.” I pat Kyan’s shoulder.

“I’m pretty sure he deserves a medal,” Jin mutters.

“Or therapy,” Beck snorts as we all follow him into the hotel, and once again, my stomach swoops like I’ve crested the hundred-foot drop of a rollercoaster.

19

My vision is narrowing slightly at the edges, and I feel a bit dizzy. Pulling in several deep calming breaths, I will my erratic heartbeat to slow back to its normal sedate pace but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Already I can feel a bead of clammy sweat rolling lazily down my spine, and I don’t even want to know what state the armpits of my shirt are in under my jacket.

“We’ve got this, Finn,” Sky whispers as she squeezes my hand.

Although she seems calm and collected, I know her too well. I’m maybe the only one who does apart from her manager Jude.

“Yeah, we got this.” I swallow tightly, although I don’t think it’s convincing either of us.

From the other side of the dividing wall, I can hear the excited chatter and low hum of the press gathered.

“Okay, they’re ready for you.” Simon appears behind us. “Ready?”

I nod slowly not trusting myself to speak. The door opens in front of us, and I can already see the flashes and bright lighting pointed in our direction as well as hearing the clicking of the cameras.

Bracing myself, I step forward when I suddenly feel Simon’s steel grip on my arm and his breath hissing in my ear.

“Just tell them what I told you to, don’t deviate or elaborate.” His eyes narrow. “Don’t fuck this up, Finn, or your career is over.”

I pull my arm away from him, ignoring the daggers Sky is shooting at him. Instead, I smile calmly.

“Don’t worry, Simon,” I say coolly. “I know exactly what to do.”

He gives me a sharp nod and releases my arm. Sky and I step through the doorway and pause for a moment to allow them to take photos. The set-up is the same as the dozens of other press conferences and junkets we’ve done before, although this is the first time we’ve appeared together.

We take our seats at the table facing the assembled press and wait for the initial excitement to die down. In front of each of us is a microphone and a sealed bottle of water. My throat is parched, and I’d love to reach out and take a sip, but I won’t. I won’t do anything that can be translated as nerves. I know I can’t show the slightest hint of weakness. I don’t want anyone to misinterpret my body language as shame or guilt.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome and thank you for being with us here today,” I begin, clamping down on the nerves dancing in my belly and projecting my voice confidently. “I know you are all aware of the recent photographs circulating and that you are equally curious about my abrupt departure from my last film set and my subsequent visit home to the UK. Skylar and I both have statements to make, if you can hold all your comments and questions until we’ve finished so you don’t miss any pertinent details. We will then answer questions as long as they are polite and respectful.”

There’s a general muttering as I glance at Simon standing to the left of the raised platform the table has been placed on. Ignoring his baleful glare, I draw in a breath and lean forward toward the microphone.

“I’m gay.”

The roar is almost deafening, and I feel Sky’s grip tighten. I risk a glance at Simon who looks absolutely furious. Purposefully turning away from that hateful gaze, I let go of Sky and raise my hands to indicate for quiet.

“If you could settle down. After those pictures, I’m sure it’s not that much of a surprise.” I risk a small smile, and the noise dies down slightly. “Sky and I”—I look across at her, and she gives me an encouraging smile—“Sky and I were never in a romantic or sexual relationship,” I say firmly. “She has been, is and will always be, my love, my best friend, my confidant… my family. I know there will be many people who will try to say I tricked her or lied to her, but Sky has known my truth right from the beginning. When I started out, I was so young, so naive. I’d not quite figured out how to be comfortable with my sexuality or even in my own skin, and at that very vulnerable time, I came into an industry that had a very definitive idea of how they wanted to package and sell me. I wasn’t brave enough to stand up for myself. I was told I had to hide who I was because people didn’t want to know and wouldn’t like it. I was told no one wants a gay action hero. I went along with it because I didn’t feel like I had any other options. But over the years it’s chipped away at me. I finally got to a point where I knew I couldn’t live the lie anymore. That’s why I left L.A so abruptly. I needed space to figure things out, so I went to the one place that has always been home to me. While I was there, I met someone and he…” I suck in a deep breath to steady my thumping heart. “Well, let’s just say the pictures are real, albeit incredibly intrusive. It was something no one was ever meant to see, not because I’m ashamed, but because it was an intensely private moment that no one else had any right to.” I shrug. “I don’t really know what else I can say.”