Page 27 of Forever Finn
“But?” I raise a brow curiously.
“I was in too much of a rush. I wanted to see you,” he admits slowly.
“Hey.” I tug on his sleeve. “I wanted to see you too, besides, you look hot as hell in those scrubs. We are literally one on-call room away from fulfilling my Grey’s Anatomy fantasy.”
“Oh my god, I know, right?” He laughs. “They spend so much time having sex in the on-call room it’s a wonder they manage to save anyone’s life.”
I hand him one of Nat’s signature seafood tacos and watch as he unwraps it, taking a ravenous bite and letting loose a groan that I feel all the way down to my belly.
“So good,” he mumbles as he chews. “This alone is reason enough to extend my contract with Jesse and stay in the bay.”
I blink in surprise. “Is that a possibility?” I ask impulsively. “Staying in the bay? You don’t want to go home to Toronto?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to go home.” He takes another bite and chews thoughtfully as I unwrap my own taco. “It’ll always be home, and I do miss my family, but… what can I say, the bay has charmed me. I’m very comfortable here and it wouldn’t hurt to stay longer. Jesse’s already said he’d be willing to extend the initial contract offer now that we know we work well together.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s something to think about anyway.”
“I guess,” I mutter thoughtfully, the conversation bringing up something I’d desperately been trying to avoid; thoughts of my own impending career implosion.
“What about you?” Wyatt finally asks tentatively as if it’s something he’s wanted to mention before but didn’t know how to broach.
“Me?” I swallow slowly, knowing there’s no point in playing dumb, we both know what he’s talking about. “I honestly don’t know what to do. I thought being here would give me time to figure it out, but the truth is the clock is ticking down, and I’m no closer to an answer.”
It’s true, my manager has been blowing up my phone nearly constantly since the moment I arrived in the bay. I’d have switched it off ages ago and ignored him completely except I wouldn’t do that to Sky. I need to make sure she can reach me if she needs to, after all, this whole mess doesn’t just affect me, everything I do has a knock-on effect in her life too.
“How much time do you have left?” Wyatt frowns as he balls up the wrapping from his taco.
“Not long enough,” I admit with a sigh. “He’s managed to buy me out of my contract for the film I walked out on, although it cost me. He fed the press the old creative differences line, but with my disappearance, you can imagine the press are having a field day. It’s open season on me at the moment. Some of the speculation is pretty wild.” I scoff under my breath when I think of some of the headlines Sky sent me.
“Hey.” He reaches out and takes my hand. “Everyone here has your back. You know that right?”
“Yeah, I do,” I murmur. “I guess of all the places I could’ve run too, this was the place I always felt safe.” Despite how it ended, I think to myself but don’t voice aloud. “Anyway, he’s got another couple of potential movies lined up for me. Directors and studios I’ve worked with before who are willing to take a chance. I could go back tomorrow, churn out another couple of action flicks and the whole thing will be glossed over and forgotten in a month.”
“Is that what you want though?” Wyatt asks.
“Honestly?”
“Always.” He continues to watch me with those beautiful patient eyes, and I can’t lie to him.
“No,” I say quietly. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go back to that life, to being that person.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I shrug, picking up my wine glass and taking a sip, as much to do something with my hands than from any real desire to drink.
“What was it that drew you to acting in the first place, the real reason?”
“The real reason?”
He nods.
“That’s a loaded question. I’ve never told anyone, not even Sky.” I find myself dragging in a shaky breath and setting the glass down.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Wyatt says gently, but there’s a strange feeling sitting in my gut, and I feel like I don’t just want to tell him the truth but that somehow, I need to. This weight I’ve carried with me for so long is crushing me.
“When I left the bay”—I swallow tightly, licking my suddenly dry lips—“after Cody died, I was in a really bad place. I hated being me. It got so bad at one point, I couldn’t even stomach looking at myself in the mirror.”
“Finn.” He frowns.
“I wasn’t consciously thinking about where I was going or what I was going to do when I left. I’d always wanted to visit L.A so that’s where I unconsciously headed. It was pure dumb luck I was spotted waiting tables and given a bit part in a film, and it kind of snowballed from there. The thing I realised is that I could pretend to be someone else. I know it sounds crazy but every time I was cast in a new part, I was someone else… I didn’t have to be me. Does that make sense?”