Page 9 of For the Plot (The Stone Siblings #1)

Nikki

Bad Decisions - The Strokes

I had no idea what the fuck I was doing.

I was pacing a hole in the carpet in front of my closet, staring at the clothes inside, wondering which of my outfits said “Hey, roomie! Wanna teach me how to have sex so I can write my romance book and pay the rent so I don’t have to move out or become homeless? ”

Little black dress was probably too sexy, but comfy at-home clothes were far too casual.

Maybe jeans? Ugh , no. I dropped to the edge of my bed, running my hands up and through my hair so I could grip it and tug lightly.

It was one of the ways I stimmed for self-soothing.

The pressure and very slight sting felt more comforting than painful, and gave my brain something to focus on other than my spiraling thoughts.

It had been two hours since Noah left, and I had spent that entire time freaking out over what outfit to wear when I asked James. Worrying this much over just the outfit is not a good sign for how this is going to go, Nikki. I told my brain to shut the fuck up.

“Well, well, well, what’s going on in here?” A voice filled with amusement floated in from the open door, and I looked up to find Collins leaning against my open door frame, taking in the explosion of clothes across my room.

“I’m looking for an outfit?” The words squeaked out of me, unsure, and I cringed, my shoulders hiking up to my ears.

“Are you asking or telling me?” He raised a brow, coming farther into the room.

“It looks like a hurricane went through here.” He looked around, picking a lacy bra up off the bed and waggling his brows at me.

I snatched it from his fingers and shoved it behind an overflowing laundry basket in the closet.

Collins walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders until I stopped fidgeting and looked at him.

It was probably all the experience he had dealing with his own ADHD, but he always knew just what to do and say when I got overstimulated.

“Breathe.” He kept eye contact with me as he loudly breathed in for four seconds, hold for four, out for four, hold another four.

We repeated this three times until I was finally calm enough to really see through the spiraling thoughts clogging up my brain.

He was always good at helping me calm down when I needed to.

“Hit me with it. What’s got you all…” He gestured at me with both of his hands in a chaotic motion.

I chewed on my lip, trying to think of what I was supposed to tell him.

I had forgotten to think about Will and Collins in all of this.

What would they think of it? Should I even tell them?

Definitely not before asking James. What if James just laughed in my face?

No, he wouldn’t do that. There was a chance that he would reject me, and that was something I just had to accept if I really wanted to go through with this. But he would never laugh at me.

Telling Collins or Will was out of the question right now. Maybe James and I would just do our research and then never talk about it again, and no one else would ever need to know!

Sure, this was totally going to work, and not blow up in my face at all.

I’d always found the best way to get away with a little white lie was to base it in truth, “I’m trying to figure out what to wear to ask someone to hook up with me?”

Collins’s brows raised all the way to his hairline, letting out a low whistle. “Damn, she’s got balls.”

I pushed on. “So, don’t let this go to your head, but after your comment the other day–”

“You know I love you,” Collins started seriously, cutting me off, and I side-eyed him, wondering where he was going with this, “but it’s more of a sisterly way. I’m very flattered that you want a piece of me—”

“Oh please." I shoved his shoulder, knocking him off balance as he burst into laughter. “I would never sleep with you.” I shuddered in disgust, and he gasped in mock outrage.

“ Anyways ,” I said pointedly, “it just kind of made sense. Maybe to get out of my head, I need to, I don’t know, get into my body?" I shuddered when I realized what I'd said. "Oh my god, that sounded so much worse out loud than it did in my head.”

I sat down on the edge of my bed, Collins following next to me.

“I know I’ve asked before, but the jokes haven’t been making you uncomfortable, have they?”

My heart filled with warmth at the genuine concern in his voice and in his eyes as he looked at me, and I smiled.

“I promise I would have told you if they did. But thank you for checking in about it. I promise this decision has more to do with me than with your jokes. It just got me thinking.”

“OK. Good.” He slung an arm over my shoulder, squeezing me to him while he rested his head on top of mine. “You know I love you like the sister I always wanted.”

“I know.” I snaked my arm around his back, hugging him in return. “Speaking of sisters, guess who you just missed?”

“Not possible, since she doesn’t exist.”

“She exists!”

“I don’t believe you!” Collins shot back in a sing-song voice as he stood.

“Just because you haven’t seen her yet doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist, you dork.”

Collins had a running joke that I was making Noah up since he had never been in the same room as her. With their extremely busy schedules—he was a firefighter and she was a pediatrician—their paths had just never crossed.

“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I have literally shown you photos of her before!”

“Um, Photoshop? Those are just pictures of yourself you’ve edited.”

I threw a pillow at him, but he ducked out of the doorway just in time, cackling as he went. Shaking my head with a smile on my face, I looked around at the explosion of clothing on the floor. The smile slowly faded as what I was about to do tonight came back to me.

God, how was I going to do this? How would I even get James alone to ask?

And then what would I do? I'd just say, Hey, James, I know we’ve been friends for years and we live together and we don’t want to date each other, but will you teach me how to have sex so I can get back to writing my smutty little books and then we’ll move on with our lives like it never happened?

Before I could spiral any further, my phone started ringing. I dug it out from where it was buried beneath a pile of shorts to see Lucy’s name flash across my screen. Honestly, with my internal breakdown the past few days, I had forgotten I was waiting for them to call me back about the extension.

Stealing myself, I answered the call and lifted the phone to my ear, injecting my voice with forced cheer. “Hey, Lucy!”

“Nikki! I’m sure you’ve been waiting for my update.” They got straight to business like always, and the familiarity of it all soothed some of my anxiety over what news they had for me.

“Just a little." My laugh was strained, and I gripped my phone so tight I was sure my knuckles had turned white.

“Well, I have good news for you. The publisher is willing to give you one last extension.”

The breath released from me on a sigh, my entire body loosening in relief at their words. “Oh, thank god.”

I could hear the smile in their voice turning serious as they continued, “Don’t get too comfortable now. They’re giving you this extension, but it’s your last one. If they don’t have it in their hands by December first, they’re canceling the book and dropping you.”

Three more months. I had three more months to figure my shit out and get this book written and turned in. I took a deep breath. I can do this. I know I can do this. And now, I had a plan of action.

“Nikki?” With a start, I realized I never responded, so lost in my own head with relief.

“Sorry! Yes, I’m here, just doing the mental math.”

They chuckled. “Good. Did you think about what I said last time? Do you have a plan to get you out of this slump?”

I thought about James, and my face flushed as I tried to figure out what to say. “Um, yep! I have a plan I’m working on.” I chewed on my lip hoping they wouldn’t ask me for any further details, not knowing what in the world I would say to them if they did.

“Good! I’m proud of you.” I don’t know why they believed in me so much—god knows I’d done little to deserve it—but I was grateful for them nonetheless. “Now get back to it, yeah? I’ll check in with you soon.”

We hung up, and with a renewed sense of determination, I began going through my clothes again.