Page 12 of For the Plot (The Stone Siblings #1)

Nikki

Let's Talk About Sex - Salt-N-Pepa

James stared at me, blinking slowly. It took him a moment, but finally he pulled himself together enough to ask, “I thought you said you knew you couldn’t go through with it with a stranger?”

I had said that. And I had also spent the past day trying my best not to cry after being completely rejected by James.

I may not have feelings for him beyond our friendship, but rejection of any kind was always extremely difficult for me.

My nervous system just couldn’t tell the difference between someone saying no one time versus someone saying they hated me.

And while it had gotten better since getting diagnosed with ADHD and understanding there was a reason behind the way I felt things, it didn’t stop me from feeling them.

Hence, me avoiding him like the plague while I licked my wounds and tried to figure out how to move on from this.

I knew that his decision didn’t say anything about how he felt about me as a person—it was just a boundary he had to set for himself, and I had to respect that.

But I also knew that I still had a book to write and writer’s block to break, with no other ideas as to how to fix it.

I was on a tight deadline and had no time to waste, which meant I needed a solution yesterday .

I also needed to put him out of his misery.

Even as I had avoided him, I had noticed him moping around the apartment like a sad puppy, and I hated that I was the one who made him feel like that.

I needed to be a big girl and put it behind us.

I told him we could pretend like it had never happened, and I meant that.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “Well, I’ve been thinking more about it.

And I think if I get to know someone for more than five minutes this time and don’t try to hook up in a bar bathroom”—I smiled wryly—“I’ll be OK.

Maybe I’ll try a dating app this time or something, I don’t know.

But I needed to tell you that I’m sorry for avoiding you, and I promise I’m all good now. ”

James didn’t say anything, his eyes skipping around my face, brows slightly scrunched together. God, I wish I could tell what he was thinking.

“So, yeah. I told you we could pretend it never happened, so let's just do that. Are we all good?” I asked.

I waited anxiously for his response, hoping he wasn’t too upset with me, and that we really could go back to the way things were.

It took him a moment, but he seemed to pull himself together, finally responding, “Yes, yes, of course. You know I value our friendship so much. I never want to hurt you.”

The tension that had wrung my body so tight since our conversation finally released, and I slumped in my seat.

“So, uh, what did you have in mind for this endeavor? I didn’t ask you last time.”

I froze at his question, surprised he still wanted to talk about it.

“I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, to be honest. I just wanted to get it over with.

” Wow, I really hadn't put much thought into my plan beyond asking him if he was even interested.

Burying my face in my hands to cover my embarrassment, I peeked at him between my fingers to see he was staring at me in amusement.

“I guess I should sort that out before I try to get someone else to sleep with me, huh?”

He smiled in return. “Yeah, maybe some semblance of a plan would help. You know, like knowing exactly what you want out of it. What your expectations are.”

I dropped my hands, finally making real eye contact with him.

His hazel eyes bored into me, and I felt like he could actually see into my mind with how intense they were.

They looked more green than usual today, pulled out by the forest green button-down he was wearing open over a white tank.

Overwhelmed, I looked away. “Yeah, I’ll make sure I think about that before I ask someone then. ”

His voice cut through the air between us, firm and just this side of demanding. "Don't."

I straightened in surprise, “Don’t what?”

“Don’t ask anyone else.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion. “I told you, I don’t really have any other ideas on how else to get past this wr—”

“I know.” James rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands between them and looking down at them. He took a deep breath. “I changed my mind.”

I opened and closed my mouth, but no sound came out. Clearing my throat, I finally croaked out, “You… you changed your mind?”

“Yes.” He met my gaze, and a zing traveled through my body at the intensity in his eyes. “I’ll do it.”

I gulped in air. Was he serious? “I don’t want you to feel forced or anything. I promise I’ll be OK asking someone else.”

“I know,” he responded, voice steady. “You can do whatever you put your mind to. But you’re right, it’ll be better with someone you feel comfortable with. Besides, who am I to turn down sex?” James grinned. While it didn’t look forced, it didn’t look totally natural either.

“Are you sure?” The words came out much breathier than I meant them to, but I had no idea what was happening. Why had he suddenly changed his mind?

His smirk turned reassuring when he saw how concerned I was. Reaching out, he gripped my hands in his. “I promise, I wouldn’t be saying yes if I wasn’t OK with it. Besides, what’s a little sex between friends?”

I laughed, the tension between us breaking.

I shifted in my seat, a weird combination of anticipatory arousal and awkwardness coursing through me.

This was real. It was actually going to happen, and there was no turning back from this.

It would either be the worst or best decision ever, and only time would tell.

I shot him a shy smile. “OK, so we’re doing this.”

James

What the fuck had I just done?

I was lying in bed, hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling and contemplating all of my life choices. I hadn’t known I was going to change my mind, but when she told me that she was going to ask someone else instead… I just couldn’t bear the thought of it.

And it wasn’t just the idea of her being with someone else, though I couldn’t deny the thought left me sick to my stomach.

Mostly, though, I hated the thought of Nikki pushing herself to sleep with someone she wasn’t comfortable with.

I know she was perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and if she said she was ok with it, then she was.

But she had also point-blank told me she would rather it be me.

That did things to me I wasn’t yet ready to admit to myself.

Something had just come over me, staring at her in that fucking lemon dress I lost my mind over every time she wore, and before I knew what I was doing I had told her not to ask someone else.

And now we were going to have sex. My dick started to harden just at the thought.

God, I had no idea what to do with myself.

Of course I wanted to fuck her. But I was also terrified of what would happen afterwards.

I couldn’t let myself fall the rest of the way in love with her.

I needed her in my life, and our friendship was too important to me to risk.

I also realized that in my haste we hadn’t actually talked about where or when or how she wanted to do this. I assumed soon since this was all about her deadline. I was too chicken to go back out and ask her, so instead I pulled out my phone, shooting her a text.

So…

*side eye emoji *

We probably should have talked about when you wanted to do this.

Oh shit, you’re right *anxious grin emoji*

How does one schedule a sex lesson?

Lol, no clue. When is the next time Will and Collins will be out all night? I’m assuming you don’t want to tell them.

Ummmm

Collins goes on his next 48hr on saturday, right?

Yeah, is there a game saturday night?

Lol, nice joke. You think I know when sportsball games are?

Lmao, good point

Ok, I just googled it, and yes there is

Ok, so saturday?

Sounds like a plan

Oh shit, is five days enough time for us to both get tested?

Ahhh, good point.

Just made an appointment for Wednesday. You?

Ok, me too.

Saturday, then *salute emoji*

You are such a dork, lol

*gif of Stephanie from Full House saying “How rude”*

Nikki reacted with a laughing face to my gif, and I stared down at my phone, the smile on my face way too big.

I was in so much trouble.