Page 42 of Fixation

ANDERSON

I n a perfect world, I’d be Harper’s perfect partner.

The entire first floor of her home would be buried in flowers. Roses and lilies in every color imaginable, bouquet after bouquet.

She’d never forget how much I love her. How could she, when she’d have chocolates delivered to her doorstep with notes from me?

I’d send her love declarations. Poems. I’d write her sonnets.

I’d be a gentleman who’d knock on her door instead of breaking into her home. A decent man who’d fuck her— no , make love to her—on my bed. Spoon her after. Kiss her neck.

I’d never bite her. Never spank her or tie her up.

But I’m far from perfect.

I get hard from watching her sleep. From yielding two syringes—one for playing with her and one for waking her up later.

I loathe the fact that my father tested these on another human before killing them. That he had the obsessive need to document everything.

Loath and grateful for it.

His evil, psychotic nature helped me prepare these two vials just now at home. The perfect twisted gift from me to Harper.

From Harper to me too.

The minutes I spent at Sergey’s bar had rage swarming through my veins.

Possessiveness and protectiveness have been gnawing at my sanity since.

A little over an hour later, and I haven’t stopped feeling it.

Infecting my cells.

Every step I’ve taken away from Sergey has aggravated my condition.

There’s no other way for me to pull my shit together other than this .

My Harper has to give it to me.

Early afternoon light filters into her living room. The tips of the needles gleam in my hands.

A clear drop beads on each of them as I press the plunger. Delicate, soft.

Like Harper is.

She’s curled up under the blanket, the one I draped over her. One hand rests under her cheek. Her lips slightly parted.

I see that while I was gone, she went up to get her sketchpad and came back here, waiting for me like such a good girl.

My girl, with her red hair that’s no longer bound by its messy bun. Thick locks are sprawled over the arm of the couch. Flames threatening to lick the floor.

So good. So innocent. No part of her is aware of the danger casting its shadow over her.

Without taking my eyes off her, I place it on top of her coffee table.

I slip out an alcohol swab from my pocket. The package is already open, and I push it out. I’m being gentle, tracing it over the side of her neck without waking her.

That’s the last soft act I have left in me for my sleeping patient. My submissive woman.

Nothing compares to her ethereal beauty. To the emotions she evokes in my rusty heart. The deformed organ in my chest.

I’m fortunate to have an understanding woman like her.

“Harper.” Her name is a warning on my lips.

Her eyes fly open.

I have a hand on her mouth, silencing her scream. Absorbing it. Fuck, controlling her it feels good.

My lips are pressed together. Jaw tight. My eyes, I imagine they reflect the barely contained violence within me.

She sees me. She realizes why I’ve returned to her this afternoon.

A second later, she notices the syringe.

Then she starts fighting in earnest.

Hands punching me. Feet kicking, aiming for my legs.

The blanket that protected her only moments ago is now a restriction. She doesn’t reach me.

Can’t stop me.

“I’d order you to be a good girl…”

Harper’s growl against my palm goes straight to my cock. It’s the last push I need, and I smirk as I shove the syringe into the side of her neck.

“Except it won’t make a difference.”

“Anderson,” she screams, her lips a caress on my palm.

The n at the end of my name is more like a whisper. A breath.

A plea.

One that’ll go unanswered.

Once the light in her eyes dulls, I release her.

“I need you.” The empty syringe clinks on the hardwood floor.

Harper is weightless in my arms, the shape of her familiar. Comforting. I’ve held people before, but none of them molded so perfectly into me.

“I need you in a way that isn’t healthy.” I’ve become addicted to her. There’s no one else to fix me. Not a thing in the world that I’m desperate for other than her. “I need total control, kitten. Absolute power.”

My cock gets harder as I climb up the stairs.

I can hardly think straight when we enter her bedroom.

“You’re saving me. You’re fixing me.” Harper made her bed, so I rip off the covers.

Placing her on the mattress, I get to removing her clothes.

“Need you. Need this. I’d burn the world down if you don’t let me have you.

I’d kill everyone within a ten-mile radius.

They’d send me to prison for it. They’d rip us apart. ”

Her green gaze follows my movements, trying to understand what’s going on.

While she’s unable to move, she’s conscious and feel everything. Soon she’ll feel all of me.

“You must be confused.”

Tears roll down from her doll-like eyes.

“Yes, I can tell that you are.” Both my hands are on her thighs, parting her legs for me.

She can’t do anything about it. Her body just obeys.

Owning her like this, it’s something else.

My blood is molten. I’m the most alive I’ve ever been.

“I could’ve sedated you. Could’ve sent you into a deep sleep while I fucked your three holes.

You’d have woken up with my cum dripping down your chin.

Your cunt. Your ass. I could’ve had my way with you for hours, by myself. You’d have woken up pregnant.”

Imagining it while she’s there on the bed, spread and pink and swollen, ready for me to fuck babies into her, I almost come in my jeans.

Her naked body is and always will be my undoing. The marks she bears from my teeth, from my hands. From me. I love these

Her swollen ankle, it pisses me right the fuck off.

What soothes me is that once the swelling is done, it’ll be gone for good.

My marks will always be there. I’ll make sure of that.

I climb on the bed. Lick every patch of skin I’ve marked. Kiss wherever my mouth reaches.

“It wouldn’t have been right.” Tasting her pussy is the purest form of indulgence.

Her clit hardens against my tongue. Her arousal drips down my chin.

“You wouldn’t have remembered any of it.” The flesh of her thighs yields beneath my fingers as I push them farther apart. “I want you to remember. Want you to be here for this. The drug in your system guarantees that you will.”

I spare her the medical talk, about sleep paralysis and the truly disturbing formula my father scribbled in his damn notebook.

All it’d do is ruin this moment for us. Her pussy might stop fluttering against my lips. She wouldn’t soak the sheets.

I let my actions speak and let her body learn. I push her up the bed to eat her out. The pressure in my groin becomes unbearable, so I free myself, humping her mattress slowly.

“You’ll be aware of every depraved thing I do to you while you’re under.” I kiss her lips, nipping at them then add, “I’ll use your body.”

She can’t moan, but I know she wants to. I know she would cry out in pleasure when I shove my tongue inside her pussy as far as it’ll go like I do now.

“I’ll make you come so fucking hard while I treat you like my doll, and I’ll be better after that. Both of us will.”

Her tears are clear waterfalls streaking her cheeks. Her eyes are accusatory.

She agreed to this. To me. A version of me, anyway, when I told her I’d probably drug her again.

But I did lie about not drugging her today.

For that I’m…

Not sorry.

“That’s it,” I praise her for being mine. “That’s a good girl. I feel better now that you’re being so good for me.”

The fire in me is ever-present.

Then violence transforms into lust.

This. This is what I had hoped for when I walked in here.

I’m ache for her. Fucking the bed harder. Sucking and licking Harper’s clit in a way that must hurt.

Must be good too, since her pussy spasms lightly.

“Take it.” I lift my hands to palm her tits, fingers pinching her nipples. My cock leaks. “The humiliation. The pain.”

Deep inside, she’s wide awake for this. For me. I look up at her, a string of my spit connecting me and her pussy. Breathless, I lick it off my bottom lip.

“This intense pleasure, kitten.” I spread kisses on her clit. “That’s why you’re crying. You love it. You hate that you do. You hate how even though you own me…” I pound the bed, getting this close to shooting my load on top of her sheets. “You’ll forever be my fuck doll.”

The tiniest shriek, the softest squeeze, and she’s coming. Her thighs barely brush my face since she’s paralyzed.

Yet I can tell.

She’s coming, but I don’t let up.

I’m ravenous and vengeful and furious at the world. I take her clit between my teeth while her orgasm drips down her crack. Fucking her bed until I’m about to come.

Until I’m right fucking there.

“Fuck. Harper.” I pinch her nipples without a shred of mercy as my orgasm taints her sheets. Burying my face in her cunt and swiping my tongue on her without a rhyme or reason, tasting anything I can get my lips on.

Breathing hard, I get off the bed.

“My girl.” I strip completely, leaving my clothes in a heap on the floor.

Then I’m back where I belong, kneeling between her legs. Kissing her tortured nipples and watching the paths of her dried tears. Getting turned on all over again for a different reason this time.

There’s a twisted gleam in Harper’s eyes.

It wasn’t there before.

“Filthy and needy. You’ve been such a good plaything for me. But we’re not done. See, Harper, I’m hard again. I’m hard and you’re my wide-eyed, helpless little thing.”