Page 37 of Fixation

He’s held on to his control as much as he could, but it’s slipping. My heart gallops at that. Anticipation overrides my common sense.

“Squeeze your thighs for me, kitten.” Calling me that instead of Miss Arlington is another sign that he’s about to break. Our games are messing with his head as much as it destroys mine. “That’s it. My good girl.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, clenching my thighs as hard as I can. I’m shaking, wanting. Eager for his praise. Praying he won’t lock me up in here. Wishing that he would. For a little while. “I’ll do anything so you don’t hurt me.”

“Is that so?” He frees his cock from his sweats, fisting it in his large, elegant surgeon’s hand.

“Yes.” This need I have for him, for his cruelty, it goes against my better judgment. Against my will to survive.

“You’ll stay there and take it. You’ll learn to behave.” Having him spit on my ass should disgust me. It has the opposite effect. “While I fuck your tight little hole.”

I’m too small, I want to tell him.

But I’m too late.

Anderson has lost what little patience he had. Cold lube squirts on my hole, and I yelp.

“Shh.” Two thick fingers go into my ass, up to the first knuckle.

At the onslaught of pleasure, I almost drop the syringe.

He lets go of my raised leg, placing it gently on the bed. Caressing my ass in a strangely comforting way.

“I’ll treat your delicate ankle later. For now, I have to take care of this. You have to”—he shoves the syringe deeper into my pussy—“be good. You don’t want this to end up in your virgin ass, do you?”

My mouth opens in a silent cry. Anderson groans, hungry for my fear.

There’s nowhere to run.

I don’t want to run.

I clench my thighs with everything I have in me.

“That’s it.” He sinks his fingers deeper. Twisting them. Stretching me. “It hurts worse when you squeeze your thighs like that. Having my fingers in your ass would be easier if I let you relax. But I’m not that kind of doctor.”

“No,” I whisper. “You aren’t.”

Anderson levels his gaze at me. “And you’re not that kind of patient.”

Swallowing a whimper, I press my lips together and nod.

“No, you aren’t.” He’s all the way in, his fingers probing. Stroking. Dragging in and out of me.

What we have here isn’t just physical.

He’s molding me into this person he wants me to be.

This woman I dream of being.

“I never—” I suck in a breath, hating and loving it when he adds a third finger. When he pumps them, the pressure makes me heady. Floaty. His . “Never knew I wanted this, either.”

“I did.” Gentleness slips into his tone.

Into this murderer’s voice.

I haven’t forgotten about that.

I don’t care about that.

My body doesn’t hate anything about him.

I imagine him standing over Werner. Killing him for me.

He would’ve been scowling, my avenging angel. My deranged neighbor.

He would’ve had me on his mind.

Anderson’s muscles flex as he squirts more lube onto my ass. As he finger-fucks me fast, then slow.

“Oh, no.” I blink, shocked and horrified by the orgasm that’s much stronger than each and every one that came before it. With a syringe in my pussy. His fingers in my ass. Murder on my mind. Who am I? “Anderson. Dr. Maguire. No. No. Make it stop.”

“Never.” He yanks the syringe out of me, hurling it across the room. It shatters on one of the walls, as violently as Anderson’s control splinters. “Do it again. Come for me. Come for me, baby. Just like that, good girl. Good fucking girl.”

He pulls his fingers out. I can barely catch my breath before he lines up the thick head of his cock to my tight hole.

“I’m scared.”

“I’ve got you.” He fists the base of his cock, the muscles of his abs pulled tight with the effort not to tear into me.

Instead, he lowers his face to mine. He kisses my cheek. My temple. Then drags his tongue over the corner of my mouth, being possessive. Branding me.

I’m delirious in the best way imaginable. I’m lubed and stretched, and even so, I gasp in pain when his head slips fully inside.

“Fuck, you’re tight. Fuck—I want this.” Another inch sinks inside me.

Another two. I’m slick from more lube that he’s squeezing on his cock, but nothing will change the fact that he’s big and thick.

I won’t survive this. “I want you. Can you feel that? My good girl. My secret patient. I’m going to go rough on you.

Going to hurt you the way you need to be hurt. ”

The deeper he goes, the hotter I become. I can’t explain why I need him there, to inflict pain. To own me.

“Good girl.” He sounds satisfied when I lift my hips higher. “Begging for my cock. Tell me how bad you want it.”

“So bad. So bad.”

The satisfied sound in the back of his throat turns me even more desperate for him. He sits up on his knees, the heat of his body replaced with the circulating air of the basement.

“Kitten. Fuck, yes.” The look he’s pinning me with is the most feral I’ve ever seen him. “You’re going to get it.”

Anderson doesn’t lie. Doesn’t oversell it.

He shoves himself to the hilt before he starts pounding into me. Giving me everything I’ve been starving for.

“Lean into me. Yes. Yes. Just like that.” More lube. More of his eyes on mine. Always watching. It’s hotter than his touch is, I swear. “You’re milking my cock. Feels so good. Push me. Let me fuck you. What a tight little hole, made just for me.”

I’m so desperate for more of him, and he senses it. He keeps one hand on my hips, thrusting like the beast that he is. With the other, he rubs my clit. Pinches. Twists. Rubs until I’m delirious with him.

His name plays on repeat on my lips the closer I get to my orgasm. I must be losing my mind, turned on by this pain, from this roleplay. From being both his patient and his slut, trapped in his basement, begging for more.

“Good fucking girl.” He leans in, biting my shoulder. Sucking. He lets go of my clit, his hand curled possessively around the back of my neck. “You’re going to take me, kitten. Every inch of me. And I’m not going to go easy on you.”

He makes good on his promise, taking my ass one harsh stroke at a time.

Like the monster he is.

Like the man who owns me.

I come, grabbing onto the sheets for dear life as wave after wave assaults me. So much so that I think I’m going to pass out.

The pleasure morphs into pain, then pleasure again.

One last groan, and he pushes me the hardest he can into the bed. Pressing himself as deep as he can go. Coming inside me. Filling me with his cum.

The peak of his pleasure is also mine. I’m hot from the inside out, hotter still with every grunt and rugged breath of his.

Then he pulls out gently. Controlled. I can tell how careful he’s being. How considerate.

As his teeth trace the curve of my neck, his seed leaks down my thighs. Lips kissing and exploring my skin.

When he rises an inch, I see him looking at me. He has things to say. Dark, heavy things he guards with silence.

His secrets scare me. Trusting him has to be the worst decision I’ve ever made.

The best one.

He bends lower again, nuzzling my neck. Whispering, “Have breakfast with me.”

My mind can’t make sense of him. Of this whiplash.

Until his lips press to my shoulder, gently, and I smile. “You’ll drug me if I won’t?”

His huff of a laugh sounds almost sweet.

“I gave you my word. Not today. Well, maybe not now.” I’m off the bed, naked in his arms as we head upstairs.

“But one day, you will?”

“Yes.” He shrugs. “You should be flattered. I’ve never wanted to be this close to anyone. Never felt this wrecked over another person. You make me come undone. Make me want this type of connection with you. As twisted as it is, that’s what I want from you. From us. So…yes.”

My body fills with warmth. With another emotion that’s deep, powerful, and dark.

I believe him. I do.

Nevertheless, I tell him it’s okay.

I say yes to breakfast.