Page 15 of Fixation

ANDERSON

“ H ey, Doc. Before you leave.” Elliot, one of the ER nurses, jogs up to me as I’m heading out of the hospital. “How’s your cousin doing?”

He’s by my side by the time I turn to him. His light brown eyes are even lighter in the afternoon sun, and his short brown hair is ruffled after a long day of work.

He’s one of the best people I’ve had the pleasure of working with, and that says a lot. When I’m at the OR, I demand the world from every single person in the room.

My heavy conscience made me this way.

I have forty-eight lives to atone for. I won’t be able to do it if the people who work with me aren’t equally driven.

Elliot is. Hell, I’d put my own life in this forty-year-old man’s hands.

“She’s improving.” A handful of nurses and doctors filter out to the parking garage. Their day has ended.

Mine has only begun.

Or, it will be, once I get home.

Once I get to her.

After two days of being at home with Harper, spending hours at work has been rough.

Being apart from her has been worse than losing my parents.

“Improving in just two days.” He grins, unaware that I’d give a kidney for this conversation to end. Getting home to Harper is my only mission in life. “Great to hear. Doc Bennet said she was passed out.”

Hospital gossip. What else is new?

I would’ve probably heard the whispers by now, except I’ve been busy.

Busy working.

Busy keeping my mind on incisions and sutures while thoughts of her have been assaulting me.

Busy stalking her any chance I’ve gotten. She’s been a beautiful sight, feeding my obsession. Waiting for me at home with only one of her wrists bound to the bed with a handcuff linked to a short chain.

That way, she can squat to go in the bucket I left by her bed.

Oh, she’s cursed me for it. Yet her cheeks have tinged red every time she went. She’s sensed me watching her from my phone.

Sure, I could’ve spared myself the curses. Could’ve filled her IV with a sedative. Could’ve inserted a catheter in her and spared her the embarrassment.

What kind of psycho would do that? Not me.

Sedating her for hours is risky with me being in the house, watching her like a hawk.

I won’t ever go down that road. Ever.

Getting off on humiliating her—I came so hard in the shower to the memories of her flushed cheeks and small gasps—doesn’t mean I’m a careless monster.

As long as I’m around, Harper will be safe. Safe and alive.

“She’s been awake since then.” Was sedated, woke up again, ate something, was sedated a second time, got some shut-eye at night. Over and over. “As I said, my cousin is on the mend. I’m actually headed home to have dinner with her.”

“Wonderful.” He claps his chubby hands, giving me the illusion that we’re done. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about her earlier. Sorry it’s taken me this long, work, you know.”

His lips quirk. He’s expecting me to respond. To engage in this small talk. Maybe even ask him about his week.

It’d be the polite thing to do.

It’d be a waste of time.

“I appreciate your concern.”

“About that broken leg case from an hour ago, though, I have a couple of questions…”

Elliot is great. Truly. Usually, I’d even stay and answer his questions about work. His success is my success, and all that bullshit, which isn’t bullshit at all.

Today, I’m close to choking him. I’m seconds away from leaving his body lying out here while I hightail it back to Harper.

Which won’t happen. Ever.

I won’t ruin what Harper and I have by losing control and getting locked up.

But I will lose control at home. I feel the wave coming. The tide rising.

The better she gets, the more my ethics fly out the window.

My pulse pounds inside my head. My hands curl into fists.

I want my hand around her throat. I want my fingers in her cunt.

I need the outlet. The depravity.

The unethical.

In a way, it’s easy to remember that I’m her doctor. I tend to her. Look after her.

In many ways, it’s really fucking hard.

Her scent. Her snarls. The adorable way her mouth moves when she chews.

Denying myself things as simple as the softness of her skin for over eight hours has done a number on me.

Getting back to our routine won’t cure this illness inside of me.

Coming on the tiles in my shower won’t fucking cut it anymore. This relentless need that’s taken over my body demands more.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” I’m past common courtesy, already heading to my car. “I have to go.”

“If you need help, I’ve got you.”

I won’t.

I’m showered and dressed in a new pair of scrubs. It’s a last-ditch effort to cling to my former self. The doctor I’d been before I saw her.

A failed attempt.

Standing at her bedside while she sleeps brings back the whirlwind of emotions from the hospital.

“Harper.” I run my knuckles over one smooth temple, tucking her hair behind her ear. She would’ve wanted that. I try to be gentle, my God do I try. “Kitten, I’m home.”

The intense lust and need to dominate her won’t let me be. They burn a hole through my skull, slowly. Painfully.

Pressing a new, cold cloth to her forehead, her cheeks, and her lips has my skin buzzing.

The basement smells nice without her used bucket here.

Who am I kidding? It smelled just as good earlier. It smelled of her.

She’s gorgeous. I fucking love that she’s wearing my sweatpants, T-shirt and sweatshirt. I can’t see any of it since she’s covered up, but I will, soon.

My hands work on their own. One finger presses the button that lowers the bed. My free hand pushes the railing down.

Other than my throbbing need, I feel something else. Something different. My chest warms as my heart expands for her. A pang of longing sears through me, but not from missing her.

My poor patient.

She’s overworked. Battling a fever. Coping with the anesthetics.

Surviving me.

No wonder she doesn’t wake up.

My cock is so fucking hard for her. For this.

The primal side of me won’t listen to reason until I give it what it wants.

Harper.

She won’t be able to give me her consent. Not with words.

Deep down, she already has.

By being mine.

I’ll pleasure her. I’ll get off with her.

Now.

Now.

Now.

Her hand on the other side of her is still chained to the bed. The rest of her body is free, yet she can’t run from me.

From this.

From us.

The tidal wave that’s been crashing against my ribs is going to drown us both.

I’m going to let it.

Fuck.

I pull my sweet patient to me by her waist. She’s as close as I can have her.

Her lips are inches from my groin.

She hums in her sleep, and it’s sweet. Sheer innocence.

What a fucking angel she is.

I, on the other hand, am the devil who’s been resurrected from the depths of hell. Who’s been put on earth to debase her.

The covers have to go. I throw them on the floor and, yes, that’s better.

I shove her sweatshirt and shirt up her body. It heightens my incessant urge to sink my teeth into her breasts. Bite. Suck.

Mark her.

My cock jerks when I lean in to kiss one nipple, then the other. I’ve missed those.

I lick them, giving each of them the attention it deserves.

Yesterday, while she was passed out, and I wasn’t really her doctor, tasting them was enough.

Today is a whole other story.

I shove my scrubs down, freeing my cock. It’s heavy in my hand. Thick and pulsing.

While I rub myself and flick my tongue on one of Harper’s nipples, I look at her.

Sleeping. Deeply.

How deep exactly?

I’m curious. I want her. I bite her again.

The moment I do that, my hips thrust forward. The feral need to claim her is everywhere.

I have to take her.

I lace our fingers together. Hers are limp. Mine are full of intent. I pull on her hand, bringing it close to my cock.

There’s nothing, not a damn thing I want more than to push her pants and panties down her legs. Climb the bed, spit on my cock, make it wet for her.

Then slide into her.

As much as it turns me on, the first time I fuck her won’t be like this.

Her eyes will be open. Emerald greens will be staring at me. Either with adoration, lust, or hate.

Don’t give a fuck.

What’s important is that she’ll be present for it.

The first time she gives me a hand job, I’m fine with her staying blissfully asleep.

I don’t know why it’s different. It just is.

“Is this your first time?” My voice is low. Sharp. Demanding answers, even in her sleep. “Have you ever jerked off to another man?

Her hand is on my cock. Her eyes are closed.

Her surrender is mine.

“Kitten, you know what? I don’t care if I’m your first, though the thought gets me so fucking hard.

” She’s tiny, and her hand barely closes when I wrap it around my dick.

“But I will be your last.” I talk to her between sucking and kissing her nipple.

“You’re mine. I’ll turn you into a sobbing mess.

You’ll be soaked, needy. I’ll give you what you need. Will give you everything.”

God. Fuck. I squeeze her hand that’s curled around my length, tightening my grip.

The pleasure forces the air out of my lungs. I curse, groan, curse again. Move her palm up and down from root to tip.

I press my forehead to her breast as I catch my breath.

As I do my fucking best not to come.

“When you finally realize we were meant to be…” Pumping my cock faster into her hand settles me. Fuck , yes, just like that. “You’ll be such a slut for me.”

“Mmm.” Her lips curve into a smile. Her hips grind on the bed.

My own orgasm isn’t the only thing that matters anymore. Poor thing is desperate to come.

I need her to feel good too, even if she’s sleeping.

While I fuck her hand harder, I push her pants down. Slip a hand beneath the waistband of her pants. I’m heady with how she clenches around air, panting, giving me hot little moans.

“Yes. Good girl. Take what you need from me.” I press my middle finger over her panties.

Moan on her breast when I feel how soaked she is.

“You want that, don’t you? My fingers on your pussy.

Inside you. Making you feel good. And you hate that idea.

Fucking loath it. But you can’t hide it.

Look at you, Harper. You’re a whore for my touch. ”

The slightest flinch from her alerts me that she could be waking up soon.

It’s in the curve of her lips too. She isn’t exactly pouting or parting them.

She presses them together. The corners of her closed eyes crinkle.

Any decent man would’ve backed down by now. Their hearts would give the slightest twist. A hint of remorse.

I’m way past that.

Precum wets the tip of my cock. My mouth and teeth suck and tease and graze her nipple. The side of her breast.

Too hard. Too much. Too intoxicating for me to let go.

The heat from her pussy gets me off just as much as her palm around my dick. With my middle finger, I push her panties to the side.

My fingertips make contact with smooth skin. Her swollen lips. Her wet, needy cunt.

“Ah, yes. That’s it. You’re dripping for me, and I only shoved my first knuckle in.” I’m thrusting and speaking to my sleeping patient between licks and gentle bites. “You like it, don’t you? Like it when I do this.” I press the heel of my hand to her clit.

Nothing in my life has ever compared to this. To Harper.

The things she’s doing to me.

So close. So fucking close.

I rock into her. Hard, fast, gripping her hand around me tighter.

The bed rattles, and I don’t stop. I rub her clit faster. Lock my hand around hers until pain shoots through my cock and up my spine.

“Hold me. Yes. Fuck.” Pressure at my temples. At the base of my cock. “That’s a good girl. That’s a fucking good girl.”

Her thighs clench around me. A gasp that’s part scream leaves her lips, and that sound…She’s coming, and that sweet, tortured cry is my undoing.

I sink my teeth into her breast when my orgasm hits. I’m spiraling, shooting my come on Harper’s bed. Her hand is soaked with me.

“Oh my God,” she breathes as she wakes up. Her voice is hoarse.

Slowly, as if this moment we’re sharing is perfectly normal, I rise to my full height. Put her panties back into place. Tuck my cock in.

I was right before. I needed this to clear my head. Needed her touch to focus.

I had to fuck her hand. To feel her pussy squeezing my fingers.

Needed all of that to be able to be her doctor again.

“Miss Arlington.” Will I ever get enough of the blush that runs up her neck and darkens her cheeks? Probably not. At least I can look at it from a distance now. Without wanting to smear my cum on every wet splotch. “You’re awake.”

“You violated me.” She raises her free hand to her face. It’s wet with my seed.

For a fleeting moment, her eyes darken. Her tongue dips out to lick her lips.

Harper is going to put it in her mouth. Taste me on her fingers.

The moment is there.

Then gone.

“No.” Fire flashes over her face. “You sick fuck.”

“I prefer Dr. Maguire .” I adjust the stethoscope around my neck. “But you can call me Anderson.”

“You. Violated. Me.”

“I tended to your needs.” Both our gazes cut to her pussy. To her legs as she squeezes them. “Yes, I did. Are you going to sit there and deny it?”

“Yes, but…”

I can tell she’s dying to cover herself up. My cum is what stops her from ruining her clothes and blanket.

Fuck, I wish I could leave it on her forever.

“But what?”

“I didn’t ask for it.” Her brow scrunches.

“Didn’t have to. Your doctor knows what’s best for you.” I dip my chin. I made a mess of her. I need to clean her up. “And what you need now, after long hours in bed, is to be washed.”