Page 175 of Fixation

The prickling sensation starts at the extremities of my body. My fingers wiggle. My toes.

He lies next to me, gentle as he turns me onto my side so I’m looking at him. His hand is warm and comforting and possessive as hell on my cheek.

“You’re such a good girl.”

He’s offering me kindness as the feeling returns to my body. My mouth—I’m able to open and close it. My eyes blink.

“That’s it.” The praise, the encouragement. He means it just as much as he means every depraved thing that comes out of his mouth. “I’m so proud of you. Come back to me. I love you.”

My shoulders. If I rolled the one I’m not leaning on, it’d listen to me.

I do it, and Anderson’s face lights up. “There you are, kitten.”

Darker emotions surge beneath the surface as I become more lucid. Anger. Betrayal.

I’m less floaty than before. I’m starting to realize that he gave me a gift that’s both beautiful and ugly.

My breath shakes through clenched teeth.

My mind is clearer too.

So yes. Here I fucking am.

Smack!My hand cracks across his cheek.Smack!

The last time, his hand wraps around my wrist. “You’re upset.”

My tongue is heavy. I talk anyway. “Why did you do it without talking to me first? You scared me.”

“You gave me your consent.” His lips hike to the side. He pulls me closer, the bastard. I love it when he does that. I’m tingly and fuzzy, melting for him. Forgiving him. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”

“Anderson.” I groan, letting him pull my head to the crook of his neck. He smells woodsy and manly. He feels like home. “You could’ve at least warned me.”

“It had to be that way.” His hand threads through my hair, combing out the knots. So good. So good. How does he do that? Be both cruel and sweet? “I was cracking. Tearing at the seams. Every second I held on to it, I got closer to doing something I could never come back from. Something that’d get me locked up and taken away from you. I didn’t want that. I wanted to share this with you. All that rage, all that desire. You’re so perfect, kitten. So fucking perfect for letting me have it. I saw your face. Felt you come. You let me have this.”

My stomach dips, thinking about what on earth could’ve made himthatupset. It drops lower when I try to imagine a life without him.

“Fine, you did have my consent. I did like it.” I snuggle closer to him until our bodies are flush against one another. “I’d appreciate a warning next time. Maybe a code word for when you’re about to do things like that.”

“Hmm.” His hand is soothing, stroking my hair reverently. I’m dangerously close to falling asleep in the monster’s embrace. “Fine.Red.”

“Cool.” My eyes flutter shut as I yawn. “Next time you sayRed, I’ll know not to be afraid of you.”

“I never said you shouldn’t be,” he murmurs into my hair.

This is so wrong. I shouldn’t be afraid of the man I love.

Then again, it’s this, his ominous, bone-chilling promise that lulls me to sleep.

30

HARPER

Someone’s behind me. Hovering in the doorway to my studio.

Goosebumps race over my skin.

There’s no telling how long Anderson has been standing there.