Page 6

Alex

M y pleasure was building again, and I was going crazy. Every time his head bobbed down, I went just a little farther into his mouth, and pressed just a little bit harder. I thought he was going to suffocate. I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on, but I knew I wanted more.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I held him down on me, and he moaned as he took more of my cock.

I wanted to thrust, I wanted to surge forward so my crotch hit his nose. I could do it; I could show him everything I’d been saving up for him.

I had no idea how he did it. When I was alone, I’d put my fingers in my mouth to experience it, imagining how I would suck a cock, but I knew it wasn’t the same. My cock was so much longer than my fingers, and, even though he was choking, Brad just kept going.

If we really were ruining our friendship, what would happen if we went all the way?

My eyelids fluttered again, pure heat winding through me as his cheeks hollowed and he moaned.

I shuddered as the vibrations echoed through my cock.

How was I supposed to fuck his face? What if I thrust too far and hurt him?

With my heart in my throat, I rolled my hips, holding him still as I made small circles as softly as I could.

I’d thought about having that much cock stuffed in me, but people had to work up to that kind of thing.

As soon as he tried to move, I let him go.

“Shit, man, you are so fucking sexy,” Brad said as he brought himself back up. “I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from the world. You’re lucky my mouth is a national treasure.”

“What are you even talking about?” I asked, struggling to keep up the rhythm. His hand still clasped my cock, and I felt even the smallest squeeze. I was too swept away by the highs he was taking me to to be any more self-conscious by the fact I was so exposed to him.

“I’m saying how many other people are going to suck cock this good when it’s their first time? This is a first for me, too.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know, would I?” It wasn’t like I’d sucked anyone off before.

His body jerked, as if he suddenly realized something, but it was only the slightest pause before he threw himself back into his mission. And the second he touched me again, there was no more space to ask what had happened.

I’d do it later, once he’d decided I had officially had my first real blow job.

My fingers tightened in his hair again, and I took a nervous swallow as I licked my lips.

A shout burst from me as he hollowed his cheeks, and I found the courage to really push at his head.

Not just a nudge to get him downward. I pushed him hard enough that my cock stayed buried against the back of his throat.

And he moaned so loudly, I thought he was going crazy.

“Brad, I think…I think I’m gonna come,” I rasped out, barely able to get a hold of myself. I let go of his hair, too scared about hurting him.

He had this hazy look in his eyes I’d never seen before as he lifted his lips from my cock.

“Do it, man. Just come.” He’d never looked at me with this much desire.

“But,” I groaned as he squeezed my cock again. “In your mouth?”

“Fuck yeah, it’s a blow job, isn’t it? You gotta finish in style.”

I couldn’t stop blushing. My hips weren’t just rolling anymore, I was inching into his mouth, rocking closer to him.

His voice was growing huskier and rougher, and it was turning me on even more. I wanted to be surrounded by that just as much as his muffled moans.

“Come on, Alex, it’s me. I’m the best person to do this with.”

“Why?” I asked, my chest tighter with every breath

“Because I’m not gonna think your orgasm face is weird!” He laughed loudly, totally throwing me off as he plunged back onto my cock.

My head snapped back, and I gasped as he took me even deeper.

I was nearly there, just on the cusp of an orgasm. I needed the flow; I had to find the forward movement.

I was too carried away, clenching him too much, but the wet heat of his mouth was too addictive.

It felt like he was urging me on with every gentle move and each gentle notch of my hips.

I was trying to control myself, but it was too much, especially when he moaned again.

“Brad, wait. Brad, I can’t stop if you do that!” I protested as he sucked me so hard my eyes popped.

“I’m gonna blow, Brad. Brad, please, I’m going to come.”

He squeezed my thigh like he was telling me to go for it. The couch shook as we sped up, losing myself in the sensation of my best friend moaning around my cock.

All the feelings I’d crushed for years burst free as my pleasure peaked.

“Brad! I’m—” I cut myself off as I thrust, shooting straight into his mouth.

I ground against him, my gaze falling to his tear-stained eyes endlessly watching me.

I needed him to look at me like there was nothing else in the world.

My cum surrounded my cock, blending with Brad’s saliva. I couldn’t stop moaning, crying out, gasping, and not once did he stop licking me. His tongue cradled my cock as his lips kept me inside him, and I thought I really would break from how fascinated he looked as I fucked his face.

My grip tightened even more, and I thrust again, so taken away by it that I forgot what I was doing until Brad exploded in a round of coughing.

“Oh my God!” I ripped him from my sensitive cock. “Brad, oh God. I’m so sorry!” I shouted as pleasure quickly gave way to shock.

I flinched back, but he kept his hand on my thigh and wouldn’t let me go. I thought he was going to spit it out, or do something other than look me straight in the eye, smirk, and swallow my cum like it was a mid-morning treat.

My mouth dropped open as his throat bobbed, followed by his loud gulp.

“Brad, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to—” I tried to finish my sentence but it fell away as he exaggerated licking his lips.

“Damn, Alex. That was so fucking sexy. I can’t believe no one’s sucked you off before when you make noises like that.”

I winced as I slowly released his hair. I wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth.

My hand glided to his neck. I wanted to stroke his cheeks and clean the cum from his lips with mine.

“How could you enjoy it?” I asked. “I just messed you up so much.”

“Yeah, but I still look hot as fuck, don’t I? It’s just another first, because I swear, I’ve never looked like this before.” I couldn’t believe he threw me a wink after what I’d just done to him.

He lifted his hand, wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, and looked at me too seriously. “Hey, man. Just a thought…”

“What? What is it?” I asked, all my anxiety flooding to the surface. The Brad I knew only made that kind of expression when he was going to say something difficult.

I prepared myself for the worst years ago, but I still didn’t know if I could handle it. Our friendship was over; he’d never talk to me again. He was disgusted with me, he thought I was some kind of freak, even though he was the one who just did that.

“So, you’ve never had a blow job, right? Does that mean you and Suzy have never fucked?”

He was stock-still, watching me intensely, waiting for my answer. Brad said he only sucked me off to help me out. Would he do the same if I told him I was still a virgin?

My jaw hardened as I turned my head, avoiding him as much as I could.

“We didn’t really get around to it,” I mumbled. I wasn’t as vague as I could be, but at least I didn’t tell him I hadn’t even kissed anyone before. Suzy’s little pecks in front of the guys didn’t count.

I thought he would burst into another grin and start chattering about it, but there was nothing.

When I looked back to him, I caught a strange expression, like he was annoyed or frustrated. But the second I saw it, he dipped his gaze, hiding himself from me.

“Alright then,” he said as he slapped his hand on the couch next to me and rocked himself back on his feet. He quickly stood, chuckling like he didn’t feel a speck of the weird awkwardness trembling inside me.

“What do you think?” he asked. “Worth trying it again, yeah?”

I stiffened, drawing in a sharp breath. What was he talking about? Was he saying he wanted to do it with me again?

Maybe we could change positions, and I could suck him off. Or maybe, if I could find even a drop of confidence in between the shattering nerves piercing my body, I could grab his collar and pull him into a kiss right now.

“What do you mean?” I croaked. My already battered heart was aching again, with no time to bask in what we’d done as he cocked his head to the side.

“Well, you could get Suzy to give it a go? I’m still surprised she hasn’t sucked you off. I’m sure she’d go for it if you asked. She still likes you, y’know? Even though you broke up.”

And my heart plummeted, even though it had fallen so far already, even in the haze of pleasure that wiped out everything else.

“Suzy and I aren’t really like that anymore…” And I didn’t want Brad to say anything else.

He looked down at me like we’d just been out for a jog or something. Both red-faced and panting, except my cock was softening and Brad looked like he’d been strangled.

“Right, I’m gonna clean my teeth. Who knows what might be swimming about in there?” Brad laughed again as he strolled off toward the bathroom without another word, leaving me gasping on the couch with my pants around my ass, my cock cooling in the warm air of the garage.

What was I supposed to do now?

I could still tell him when he came back. But he said he didn’t want to make it weird. Did telling him I was gay straight after coming in his mouth make it weird?

I literally had no idea anymore.

I sat there, staring at the East City Wranglers poster that we hung above the TV ten years ago when we promised each other we’d make it to the NHL. It had basically been the thing we looked up to, a full shot of the team underneath a huge bull skull logo.

What was going to happen to our poster now? One of us would have to take it, and the other would never see it again.

With Brad going to college, it made way more sense for it to go with him.

And then, what would I do? What would I have left of us, apart from memories like these?

By the time the inner garage door opened, I’d pulled up my pants and made up my mind.

I stayed, my fingers clenched on my lap, as Brad jumped around the side of the couch.

He swiped up his controller where he dropped it before he hit on me. Red, just like his lucky sneakers—just like the uniform he’d be wearing at Redhill U, playing for the college team, the Red Kites.

I sat there, just feeling his warmth, staring at the screen as he flicked through the menu to start another game. I wondered if I’d ever get to be this close to him again after I told him.

“Brad,” I said, forcing myself to look at him as I drew in a shaky breath. “I need to tell you something.”

He didn’t even look at me when he answered, “Aw, come on, Alex. Don’t make a thing about it. Seriously. It’s just a blow job; it doesn’t mean shit, okay?”

“No, but I—”

His gaze swept to mine. A trace of irritation showed in a quick scowl, and I snapped my mouth shut.

“It’s just another first, isn’t it? First kiss, first blowie. Next thing you know, I’ll be popping your cherry.” He hitched a brow with a smirk which said ‘yeah, right,’ before his attention went back to the screen.

“Brad…” It was getting more and more painful to push it, but I knew what I was like—if I didn’t do it at a moment like this, I wouldn’t say anything at all.

“Hey, dude,” he said shortly, his body tense, his hands tight on the controller. “Don’t ruin it by being a freak, okay? It was just a little dick sucking.”

That sliced even deeper. He was the one who hit on me, so why was I the freak?

He completely turned away from me and refused to even look at me.

“But Brad, I really need to—”

“Nah, just leave it, alright? We’re friends; it’s what we do. We help each other out and stuff. It’s not gay, I’m not like that.”

My eyes stung as I held myself back. I’d never planned for any of this. I didn’t know he was going to go down on me. So why was he being so cold?

I always thought it took a lot to annoy Brad, and I hated how I was the one who put that expression on his face.

His chest puffed and he blew out a heavy breath, setting my nerves into overdrive. I didn’t get why he was shutting me out when I just needed to talk about what we’d done.

He clicked his teeth before he shot to his feet, throwing his controller behind him. I watched numbly as it bounced off the dull orange cushion.

“Actually, I’ll head out now. I want to get an early night before practice tomorrow.”

“But…” He was meant to stay over, and we’d go to practice in the morning, and spend the whole weekend together.

All my chances of talking to him about what was going on with me flew out of the window.

Any pleasure that still zipped through my veins fizzled out as my disappointment burned through me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He gave me a quick nod, not even meeting my eyes as he yanked his jacket from the back of the couch.

He blanked me again as he spun on one foot and made for the door. It closed with a hollow thump , and I sat there in the silence of the garage.

He told me not to be a freak about it, but what was that? Even when we argued, he wouldn’t outright avoid me.

I couldn’t tell him anything; he didn’t even give me a chance. If I just told him how good it was instead of trying to make it something deeper, would he have listened to me? Or if I offered to suck his dick, maybe he wouldn’t have left. Or should I have waited for another day?

I knew confessing was going to hurt in some way. But I’d never predicted he would suck me off and then reject me. It made it even worse.

The strange mix of anger and sadness swirled inside me as I searched for the answer of what I was going to do. Because I hated him for doing that to me, but I still didn’t want either of us to leave like this.

Telling him I was gay and seeing his reaction was supposed to help me decide how soon I left town.

I sat there for hours, staring at the poster in a daze, endless streams of thoughts keeping me stuck to the couch.

We were meant to go and play for the Wranglers together. We were supposed to spend our careers together. And I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t with him.

I didn’t want to lose him. I knew it was crazy, and that none of it was my fault, but I couldn’t leave when the last memory I had of him was of how he ran away from me.

That was the night I decided for sure I would keep it a secret. Even if it burned me out, I’d never tell Brad the truth so he’d stay with me, and so he’d always be my friend.

But I didn’t know how I could look at him again when he’d shredded my heart and thrown it to the floor.