Page 27 of Fireworks

Chapter Ten

*****

Katie

Isat frozen, trying to focus on the landscape as it blurred past us. We were almost at his house. My palms were sweaty, and my mind was racing. Trying to replay the entire day of my fourteenth birthday, I attempted to remember every detail, being that there was no way that he was talking about the part of my day that came into my mind first.

“Okay.”

It seemed like the safest answer that didn’t lead him to thinking I remembered anything he was saying. That should keep the conversation safe and force him into talking to me instead of walking away from the conversation for once. He had started this one, after all. I could tell my breathing wasn’t even as my chest rose and fell as I took deep breaths in and out, willing myself to not look over at him.

“I really fucked everything up, didn’t I? After that is when you stopped coming to me for anything. We used to talk, do you remember that? It wasn’t often, usually only when Asher wasn’t around.”

I remembered. He was right. It was only in my brother’s absence. He was hilarious, and I always felt so comfortable around him. I never had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. He would sit and patiently listen as I told him about the book I had just finished. Half the time he did not know what I was talking about, but he always let me gush about it like I was telling him about real-life events. Then I heard him call me a dork. I quickly realized he was probably only being nice to me because his mom had told him to. It was out of pity. After that night, I promised myself to never let someone in like that again.

No one ever got to see the real me, not even Collin. He saw what I wanted him to. Which is why I knew a relationship wouldn’t ever work. He had this image of me being the perfect, happy, smart girl and never got to know who I really was. Nate’s voice broke my thoughts.

“I heard two of your friends talking later on. That was your first kiss, wasn’t it?”

He put the car into park in front of his house, turning to face me. My nerves were on fire as I felt his eyes on me.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, it was just a dare, it wasn't a big deal. Just go get changed or whatever. I can stay here.”

I pulled my bag onto my lap, knowing I had a book stashed inside. This gave him his out to get away from me.

“Why don’t you come in? It’ll be more comfortable inside. It might get hot out here.”

I grabbed my bag and got out, making my way to the front door despite wanting to stay as far from him as possible. I also didn’t feel like sitting in a hot truck and getting sweaty. He didn’t say another word to me as we went inside. I made myself comfortable on the couch while he walked toward his room to change.

Reading the same sentence four times, I couldn’t focus on the words. They blurred before my eyes as my mind kept wondering why he was apologizing or bringing anything up today. I hadn’t expected to put my book down. As my feet carried me across his house and to his room. I pushed the door open, not giving a damn if he was still in the middle of changing or not. I was so sick of his dictating the conversations and leaving me sitting there wondering what the hell was going on.

“What the hell Katie?”

He stood in the middle of his room with his pants just meeting the edge of his boxers. Quickly pulling them up the rest of the way, he turned a shade of red I hadn’t ever seen on him before.

“Why did you bring that up?”

My voice was steady as I demanded an answer.

“What do you mean?”

He grabbed a shirt off the edge of his bed, pulling it over his head before pushing his baseball cap backwards over his messy hair.

“Why did you bring up my birthday? That kiss, I know it wasn’t your first, so what did it matter? It was just a kiss. It meant nothing.”

My chest was swelling as I focused hard on keeping my posture straight. I didn’t mean to walk in and see him without his pants on. I came for answers, and I couldn’t let that distract me. It was no different than seeing guys at the pool walking around in their swim trunks.

“If I didn’t kiss you, maybe you wouldn’t hate me so much.”

A laugh escaped my lips unintentionally.

“What’s so funny?”

I looked back at him.

“You really think the kiss is why I hate you?”

Shaking his head yes, I couldn’t help but laugh again.