Page 108 of Fireworks

“Now, you get up and take a shower, eat something, and I am going to help you pack. School starts up soon and we are not going to sit around here anymore. I have already spoken to Harry the minute they know anything he is going to call me. Nate is coming home Katie. You understand me? He is coming home to us.”

Looking down I managed to muster up enough courage to speak. I didn’t know how she could be so sure, but I needed to believe her words.

“Yes ma’am.”

The water had gone cold as it cascaded down my body. The pin needles of water pricking at my skin at least let me know I was still alive. I could still feel something besides the emptiness that had been filling me for the last few days. Stepping out of the shower my eyes closed and I could feel his body against mine as he pinned me against the door last Christmas. Asher’s voice on the other side of the bathroom door snapped me out of the memory.

“Katie? Mom made your favorite soup. It’s downstairs whenever you want it.”

I didn’t respond, I just pulled on my clothing and opened the door pushing past him. Before I had even made it two steps, he grabbed me and pulled me into his room closing the door behind him.

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day. I didn’t mean it. I was just upset. Bridget and I have to go back home. We can only take off so much time from work unexpectedly like this. Are you going to be okay?”

While I would have normally loved that he was apologizing and admitting that he was wrong there was no satisfaction this time. Standing motionless I wanted to lie, I wanted to be snarky and tell him I’d be perfectly fine. Instead, I just concentrated on my breathing and fighting back the tears that I thought were done for a little while.

“Katie how long was it going on for?”

His voice held the same soft tone it did the day he told me he would always be there for me when he found out that Brandon and I had broken up.

“Five months.”

Running his hand through his hair he pulled me into his arms.

“Fuck Katie! I thought it was something that had just happened. How the hell did you two keep it a secret? Why didn’t you guys just tell me five months ago, why hide it for that long?”

Sucking in a deep breath the air burned my lungs.

“He was too worried that you would be pissed and never forgive him.”

Our eyes met and he finally saw me. Not just his little sister but really saw me. Someone who had fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have. My heart being torn out with each breath he squeezed me tighter in his arms.

“You two have always hated each other though. I just don’t get it. Can you just explain that to me?”

Pulling myself out of his arms I sat down on his bed.

“You don’t really want to know.”

Settling next to me he put his arm around my shoulder.

“Yes, I do. Please talk to me.”

Closing my eyes, I found the courage to start from the beginning.

“It started with a dare when I was fourteen.”

Asher sat in silence as I told him, sparing no details; including when Nate had picked me up at the warehouse. He needed to know that Nate had always been looking out for me even when he didn’t know it. That Nate’s intentions were never to hurt him or betray him. Scratching his head, he sat quietly listening to me allowing me my moments to collect myself when the pain overtook me talking about Nate. He sat for a minute once I was finished

“So, wait. The whole time you guys were visiting me. Oh my God, ,no. I think I’m going to throw up now. It was you he was talking about?”

The look on his face caused an emotion I thought was long gone from my body. Laughter.

“I want to be mad and disgusted right now but I was so afraid that you forgot how to smile. You really cared about him didn’t you?”

My head nodded up and down.

“I think I loved him, Asher, but it doesn’t matter now. He’s gone.”