Page 87 of Find Me
Keelan sighed and climbed out of the car. “I swear I’m going to lock the two of you in a room together until you hash out whatever is going on between you.” He shut his door and went inside their house.
I looked up at Knox. “Can I get out now? I need to shower.”
“Not until you tell me.”
Cheese and rice. He infuriated me. “Fine.” I slid across the bench seat and exited the car from the other side.
He slammed the Jeep’s door. “Very clever, Shiloh.”
I thought so.
He met me as I rounded the Jeep. “Why can’t you just answer the damn question?”
“Why do I need to? You made your point. I offered that money to protect Creed—to protect his academic future. I know he doesn’t know what he wants to do right now, but having a suspension on his academic record will limit his options when he does decide. I would have offered a lot more if I’d had to because he’s important to me. You all are. But you already know that because I’ve told you that before.”
“Then how come it’s okay for you to protect us but it makes you feel guilty when we do the same?”
I walked around him. “I told you why I felt guilty today.”
He followed me. “I’m not just talking about today. It’s a battle anytime we want to do something for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I grumbled as I dug around my wet backpack for my keys.
“Keelan offered to train with you for free, but you couldn’t just accept it, and he had to give you a job so that you’d be comfortable with it,” he pointed out and picked up his pace so he could cut me off before I reached the steps leading up to my front door. “The twins had to argue to bring you home after Gabe hurt you the first time. And what about the swing that’s been sitting on your back porch waiting to be built? You have yet to ask any of us for help. We don’t even charge you a membership fee to our gym anymore and we haven’t told you because you’d fight us about it.”
“What?” I hadn’t even noticed. “When did you stop charging me?”
“Of course that’s all you heard,” he muttered.
“What is your point, Knox?”
“I think it scares you.”
His words knocked my soul on its butt. I walked around him again, trotted up the steps, and unlocked my front door.
“You have nothing to say because you know I’m right,” he said from behind me.
“Yeah, well, I’m still mad that you kissed me,” I shot over my shoulder and went inside.
He followed me. “We’re not talking about that right now.”
I whirled around to face him. “Why, because it’s not something you want to talk about?”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “I want to know why it scares you to rely on us.”
“Because it just does,” I admitted, just as frustrated.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know how to French braid my hair,” I blurted.
He blinked at me. “What?”
“My mom always used to French braid my hair. It’s what she did if I was ever upset or stressed. She’d start off by running her fingers through my hair to help calm me and when she could tell I was feeling better, she’d braid my hair. I never learned to French braid my hair because I thought I’d always have my mom around to do it.” My voice broke and I had to pause to find the strength to continue on. “I’m terrible at putting nail polish on my right hand. Shayla would always help me. And my dad…” My eyes began to burn, and I had to look up at the ceiling to regain my composure. “My dad was who went with me to see the newest Marvel or DC movie that had released and who I would yell for when there was a spider.”
Knox was quiet as he listened.
“Every day I find something new that reminds me that I don’t have them anymore and it’s a living hell. So when the four of you try to do something for me or help me, it scares me sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes. And it’s not the stuff that you do, but how I feel when you do it. I feel happy and not alone. I honestly love it, but I know how easy it is to have all that ripped away. That fear overwhelms me.”