Page 71 of Find Me
“Why?” he pushed.
“Because I can’t,” I snapped at him.
Knox opened his mouth to say something, but Keelan put his hand on Knox’s shoulder. “Ease up, Knox. This isn’t an interrogation.”
“You owe me five answers to five questions,” Colt said, bringing up the bet I’d lost our first day of school. “You don’t go back on your promises, right?”
Throwing my words back at me felt like a low blow. I hated this. “Fine. Ask away.”
The intensity that filled Colt’s eyes could have rivaled Knox’s in that moment. “What was your dream about last night?”
“The night my family died,” I answered. The terms of our bet were that I had to answer. Not be specific.
“Who is Mr. X?” he asked next.
My heart skipped a beat at that question. “He was my freshman English teacher.”
“She’s purposely being vague,” Knox pointed out.
Colt didn’t ask another question for moment. Instead, I watched as he thought about what he wanted to ask me next. “How did your family die?”
My forehead creased and my vision blurred. I had to blink to clear it. “I can’t tell you.”
“This is bullshit, Shiloh,” Knox said as he got to his feet. “You refusing to tell us anything, that’s what’s going to push us away.”
“I know!” I yelled. “You don’t think I know that?”
“Then why are you doing it?” he roared back.
“Because I can’t—” I started to say before Knox interrupted me.
“Stop saying you can’t. You just don’t want to.”
“No, I can’t!”
“Knox, calm down,” Keelan said at the same time the twins said, “Knox, back off!”
Knox ignored them. “Why can’t you?”
“Because I’m in witness protection!” I screamed at him as if the truth was a way to punish him. “My family was murdered! Is that sharing enough for you, Knox! Huh? I couldn’t tell you because the monster who killed them is still out there,” I wailed as I pointed at the door. “If anyone finds out who I really am, my life is at risk. Telling you puts my life at risk.” My voice broke at the end.
The room fell silent.
As I took in their shocked faces, the reality of what I had just done hit me. I covered my wet face with my hands. “Oh, no.”
I couldn’t stand to be here any longer. I didn’t want to stick around long enough for them to ask me to leave, either. I booked it for the door and this time nothing got in my way. I scooped up my keys and phone from the small table they kept by the front door. None of them tried to stop me and that was enough to tell me that everything was ruined between us.
Once I was inside my house, I had the urge to just collapse and cry. I stayed strong and walked to the kitchen. Under the sink, tucked behind the cleaning supplies, was the bottle of Jack I’d bought the day I had met Colt. It was unopened. I’d kept it to prove to myself that I didn’t need it as a crutch anymore. Right now, I couldn’t care less about proving anything.
I unscrewed the cap, tossed it in the trash because there was no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t need it again, and took a big swig from the bottle. The whiskey burned everything it touched as it went down. That was a far better feeling than my heart breaking.
* * *
The sound of knocking on the front door startled me awake. I couldn’t remember when I’d passed out. It hadn’t been long enough to sober me. A knock came again.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming,” I grumbled and stood from the couch. The world tilted to the left, then the right and I had to catch myself on the coffee table.Yup, still drunk. I blinked a couple of times, hoping that would stop the spinning. It helped enough for me to get to the door, which I unlocked and swung open.
Knox was standing on my porch. I had to squint at him to keep from seeing two of him. His arms were crossed over his chest and his normal frowny face was in place.