Page 59 of Find Me
Desert Canyon, the high school the twins were competing at, was packed with people. I guessed there was also a play being put on by the drama kids. The parking lot was full to the max and there were people everywhere.
Walking through the parking lot, the guys had me walk between them, like Colt and Creed did. Knox’s hand went to the small of my back, steering me out of the way when a car drove by looking for a free spot to park. I tried not to read into it when the car passed and Knox’s hand didn’t leave my back. My mind and my body were not talking to each other at the moment. My heart rate picked up and my skin tingled, making me very aware of his strong hand touching me.
Once inside, it was crazy packed. It was a miracle we managed to get seats. Just before the start of the meet, the twins came out with their team and I waved at them like a total goof, making Keelan and Knox chuckle. The meet was as intense as it had been last time and my guys kicked butt. I swore they were part fish with how fast they speared through the water. When the meet was over, I sent them a text that we’d wait for them outside, which was where the three of us were making our way toward, moving with the large crowd to the exit. Keelan took the lead with me behind him and Knox behind me. The closer we got to the doors, the more people squished together. Worried we’d get separated, I slid my hand into Keelan’s and grabbed Knox’s with my other. Surprised, Keelan peered over his shoulder at me, then at mine and Knox’s hands together. He didn’t say anything or let go. He continued on leading the way.
Outside, the crowd spread out and despite not wanting to, I let go of their hands. People were talking all around us, either about the meet or how hot certain swimmers were, which was the current topic of the conversation the group of girls behind us were having.
“Did you see those twins on the other team?”one of them asked.
“Oh, yeah. I’d totally be the meat in that man sandwich,”another giggled.
I snorted in my attempt to hold back a laugh. Keelan smiled at me over his shoulder, obviously listening to them like I was. I looked to Knox. He rolled his eyes. It was downright hilarious listening to the girls go on about Colt and Creed. That was, until one of the girls screamed at the top of her lungs, then giggled because it was her boyfriend who’d snuck up on her. I wasn’t really paying attention at that point, though. The damage had been done.
The moment her scream had hit my ears, fear had spiked through me, jolting my heart to pump at a rapid speed. My hands shot up to cover my ears in an attempt to shut out the scream that was currently on repeat in my head. Only the scream didn’t belong to that girl, it belonged to Shayla. My whole body froze as that night flashed in and out, causing a shutter effect on my sight of Keelan and Knox, who were starting to give me strange looks.
Deep and slow breaths. It’s not real. You’re safe.I did as I told myself. I inhaled through my nose and exhaled out my mouth. I tried to fix my eyes on Keelan as my mind toggled between him and standing in the dark at my old house. Keelan’s mouth moved. He was talking to me but I couldn’t hear him. Not over the screaming.
You’re safe. It’s not real.
You’re safe. It’s not real.
The more I told myself that, the longer Keelan stayed in my line of sight between flashes. I felt arms wrap around me, hugging me tightly. When my vision shuttered back to reality, I found my face smushed into a chest. The smell told me it was Keelan. I sucked in his scent deeply. His tight embrace eased my anxiety and, like brakes on a car, slowed down my heart. The screaming began to fade until I could only hear Keelan whispering in my ear.
“You’re okay, Shi. I’ve got you. Deep breaths.”
I stiffly dropped my hands from my ears and tucked them between us. My whole body was shaking and weak-feeling.
“That’s it. You’re okay,” Keelan said as he ran his hand up and down my back.
I took one more deep breath before I found the strength to pull myself away. Stepping back, Keelan released me. I continued to move backward, putting some space between us until my back bumped into someone else. Hands went to my shoulders. I knew it was Knox. I couldn’t look at either of them. For one, I was mortified and two, I didn’t want to see what a nutcase they probably thought I was.
“You want to tell us what that was about?” Knox asked from behind me.
My whole body went rigid.
Noticing my distress, Keelan stepped closer. “She doesn’t have to answer—”
“Yes, she does,” Knox said with a tone that brooked no argument.
I released a shaky breath. “The scream triggered…I—” Tears started to fill my eyes. I closed them and took another calming breath. “I was diagnosed with PTSD after my family died. Some things trigger me to have flashbacks of that night. I’ve learned to pull myself out when it happens. But this one kind of blindsided me because I haven’t had an episode in six months.”
They went quiet and it wasn’t until I heard nothing but silence that I realized my eyes were still closed. Opening them, I stared at Keelan’s shirt. I was still scared to look at them. A huge part of me was waiting to hear them tell me not to come over anymore and to stay away from Colt and Creed. As the silence continued, I found it harder to hold back the tears and they fell one after another down my cheeks.
“That explains why you kept telling yourself that you were safe and it wasn’t real,” Knox said behind me and dropped his hands from my shoulders.
Unable to bear waiting for them to tell me to hit the road, I wiped my cheeks with the backs of my hands and stepped away from them. “I’m going to order a car service to take me home. You don’t have to worry about me bothering you guys anymore.” I took another step away. “Who would want a head case hanging around?” I tried to joke. My mind wandered to the twins and my heart hurt with how much I was going to miss them. I went to leave and made it a few steps before a hand locked onto my wrist.
“Did we say you were bothering us?” Knox grumbled.
I was stunned. Of all people, Knox would have been the last person I would have guessed to stop me from leaving.
Keelan appeared in front of me, also preventing me from leaving. “We know you’re still healing from the loss of your family,” Keelan said and wiped away a tear that was rolling down my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t know if the twins have realized this, but Knox and I have picked up on the fact that it was traumatic, especially after what we just witnessed.” I felt myself begin to panic again. His hands went to my shoulders. “Breathe,” he ordered, and I took a deep breath. “I know you know we lost our parents. I was about your age when we lost our dad. It probably looks like we’ve got our shit together now, but it’s been over three years since he died. Healing takes time. The four of us are very understanding of that.” He gave me a sad smile. “None of us want you to leave. Even if we did, the twins have imprinted on you, so we’re kind of stuck with each other now.” That made me laugh.
“What’s going on?” a voice asked. We looked in the direction of the source and saw Creed and Colt standing a few feet away, eyes bouncing between the three of us.
Knox released my wrist, but Keelan just smiled at his brothers. “I think we’re about to get into trouble, Knox. We made their precious Shiloh cry.”
Creed and Colt looked at me, noticing my wet cheeks and undoubtedly puffy, red eyes. Colt’s eyes filled with rage. “You made her cry?” he seethed and stalked over to us. He pulled me away from Keelan into his arms.