Page 40 of Fighting Fate (Monsters of London #4)

Vince

Despite everything, I still make sure to go to Sunday’s class. Ophelia showed up when I was midway through explaining things to Jamie and Nick, and thank fuck for it because Sam was no help.

Jamie’s… excited, I think. Still getting over Tim attacking him, of course, but all that new information is a nice distraction.

I’m not sure about Nick at all. At first, he said he didn’t believe it. Ophelia got through to him more than Sam or I did, but I don’t know how he feels about everything.

Dax isn’t there when I get to the warehouse. No one is, but even as Cecile and Saoirse arrive with their mages, he doesn’t appear. I don’t know how I feel about that. Sam brings Drew along, and when Drew offers to help, I let him.

The entire class is a blur. I’m on autopilot, and I’m lucky that Cecile and Saoirse can pick up on what I need. If Enza, Odette, and Silas notice something is wrong, they don’t mention it. It goes without saying that Dante must know. Sam and Ophelia will have told him.

Kieran arrives ten minutes before the end of the class, when I’m leading everyone into a cool down. He lingers near the door like he’s not welcome—he’s not—and once I’ve made it through and the whole thing’s over, I start grabbing the mats so I don’t have to look at him.

I’m angry with Dax, but the anger I feel towards Kieran is different. He should have known better. Keeping things to himself that are about him is one thing. But this was about me . Don’t I deserve to know?

Of course he’s never been one to take a fucking hint, so I’m unsurprised when I turn around and see him standing right behind me. Only members of his pack remain, so they must have told the others to leave—Cecile never goes until everything’s been tidied up.

“What do you want?” I say, voice flat.

“Can we talk?”

“What do we have to talk about? You can see I’m still going to run the classes, so there can’t be anything else you want to ask me.”

Kieran sighs heavily and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Yeah, you fucking sound it.” I stride past him and grab one of the other mats.

He follows me, picking up another, and I glare at him when he puts it away. “I am,” he says, for a moment not looking at me. “I really didn’t want to interfere. And I figured Dax would tell you when he felt he was ready.”

“Clearly, he didn’t.”

“Tell you?”

“Feel he was ready.” The mats are all away, so there’s nothing else to do but grab my stuff and leave. Sam, Drew, Ophelia, and Dante are waiting by the door, studiously not looking at either of us.

“It’s not the easiest thing to talk about.”

“Why not?”

“Because it—it isn’t. You get one shot at this, Vince. Just one. And if you fuck it up—”

“You didn’t fuck it up, though, did you? You and Lucien are fine.”

“Yeah, I got lucky. But I can’t blame Dax for waiting if he wasn’t sure if you’d cut and run when he told you.”

I let out a frustrated snarl. “And it’s not up to you! Look, I’m grateful you gave me this job. But just because you’ve done that, and just because you’ve got a pack, it doesn’t mean you get to make decisions for me. That’s what you did. Both of you. Whether you meant to or not, you still took that choice away from me.”

Kieran swallows and is silent for a long time. I don’t glance at the others. I need him to understand this. What I’ve seen of mates—him and Lucien, and Sam, Drew, and Adam—is intense. I wasn’t lying to Dax when we talked about mating bonds. It wasn’t what I wanted.

But now?

The worst part is that I think I was getting there. But how can I trust Dax to tell me everything about himself, about being a wolf, if he couldn’t tell me this?

“I know,” Kieran says, “and I am sorry. I really am. I made a bad choice. But I wanted to protect him, too.”

I sigh. Yeah, I know that. Whatever issues Dax has with his pack, Kieran’s taken it upon himself to solve them. “I know.”

“So are we—”

“You’re going to have to talk to Jamie and Nick at some point,” I interrupt. “We told them everything yesterday, but I don’t think Nick’s taken it well. That might be a more productive project for you.”

Kieran presses his lips together into a thin line. “Right.”

“I’m going home. Gonna check they’re both doing okay.”

“And you’ll be back for the other classes this week?”

“Of course.” I scowl. “I said so, didn’t I?”

“Yes. Yeah, you did.”

I nod at him, grabbing my bag from the floor as I walk past. I pause by the door and look at Ophelia. “Thanks for your help yesterday. Jamie’s not… He’ll get there, but you healing him helped, I think.”

She smiles. “I’m glad. Let me know if you need anything else. We’ll be there.” She waves a hand at the room, her gesture encompassing their entire pack, I suppose, and the fact is… I know she’s telling the truth. Even if I’m pissed off at Kieran and he’s pissed off at me, I know he’ll help me if I need it.

“Yeah. I will. Thanks.”

By the time the next Sunday rolls around, I’m officially worried. Dax hasn’t been to a single class, and I’ve heard nothing from him to say why. Kieran hasn’t come to another class, either, but when I called him on Thursday, he said he hadn’t heard from Dax.

Axel was in touch, he said. Dax needs time off.

In contrast to Kieran and Dax, Sam’s been at every class like some kind of glamorous sentinel. I don’t mind that much. He joins in the classes for mages and wanders around glaring during the ones for wolves and vampires.

Well, there’s less glaring during the vampire one, but I think that’s because Adam is determined to make his mate smile.

So yeah, I’m worried. About Dax, about all of it. There’s a dull ache behind my ribs that won’t go away, and after a discreet, terribly awkward conversation with Sam, I’m not certain if it’s the bond feeding me Dax’s feelings or if it’s a reflection of my own.

Or maybe I’m just coming down with something. Who knows? Not me, that’s for sure.

When we finish Sunday’s class, it’s easy enough to corner Drew. Cecile is distracted chatting to Silas, and Drew is always quick to help tidy up. I prop a mat against the wall and wait for him to bring another.

“Hey, so, I was just wondering…”

“Yep?” He leans his mat against mine and looks at me expectantly.

“Have you heard from Dax at all?”

Drew grimaces. Guilt flashes across his face, and my stomach twists. I haven’t sent Dax a single message, so it’s not like I can be mad about it.

“I mean, a bit,” he says. “I was texting him last weekend, after everything…” Drew trails off, cheeks flushing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Sam is watching us. He doesn’t come over, and honestly I’m surprised at the level of trust.

Though maybe he’s just trusting Drew to handle himself. That makes more sense.

“I just—I need to know if he’s okay.” It really is a need. From the way Drew looks at me, he knows it, too.

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t know, but he says he is. He only replied twice. Said he wanted to spend time with his pack again.”

“Yeah, okay.” I shove my hands into the pockets of my jogging bottoms. What else did I expect? I don’t want him moping and pining, waiting for me.

I don’t.

“Axel’s sending a new wolf over next week,” Sam says as he approaches. “He called Kieran this afternoon. I figure Kieran will call you later, but it’s not like you’ve been around for him to talk to.”

There’s less rebuke in his tone than I expect, but it’s still there.

“I know.”

“And I’m sure Dax is fine. Axel would have said something otherwise. So problem solved, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t want Dax around anymore. Now he’s not. Problem solved.”

Anger rises in me, sharp and hot, but before I can even open my mouth, Drew frowns down at his mate. “Sam,” he says, tone unimpressed. “Come on.”

Sam shrugs, but the look he gives Drew, at least, is mildly apologetic. “I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, maybe don’t,” Drew replies.

“It—It’s fine,” I manage. Something that feels an awful lot like despair swirls in my chest. Should I call him? Fuck, can I? What if he’s blocked my number?

“You could come for dinner,” Drew offers, studying my face far too closely for my liking.

“No, I told Nick and Jamie I’d be back soon.” I’m surprised my voice is so steady. “You guys go, though. I’ll finish up here.”

Even Sam frowns at that, though he tugs gently on Drew’s arm. Drew shakes his head. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. See you on Tuesday?”

“See you then.”

Sam and Drew’s exit has everyone else leaving with them, though Cecile drags one more mat over before she heads to the door. I put the others away, sweep the floor, and the entire time, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Dax is just… gone. Out of my life, just like that.

The thought dogs me all the way home, mood not lightening even when I arrive and find that Nick and Jamie have made dinner.

“Thought you weren’t coming back,” Nick grumbles when I drop my bag next to the sofa.

“Sorry,” I say, “just had to tidy everything up.”

Jamie asks about the class as we eat lasagna, and Nick stares at the TV like he can ignore any talk of magic through sheer force of will. They spoke to Kieran during the week, and while Jamie came back excited to learn more, Nick is kind of pretending none of it exists.

I don’t know what to do about that, so I’ve decided I’m not touching it with a bargepole. That can’t possibly be my problem.

“I’m gonna meet Cecile and Silas for a drink,” Jamie says once we’ve finished dinner. I’m washing up in the kitchen and he leans against the counter behind me, not a hint of concern in his expression.

He’s not over what happened with Tim. I know that. I’ve not asked Sam and Kieran what happened to Tim, either. I don’t know if Jamie did. I kind of don’t want to know.

“Okay, sounds fun.”

“Wanna come?”

I put the final plate on the drying rack and pull the plug on the sink. “No, I think I’ll stay in.”

“Sure? Cecile said she thinks you’ll be fun to hang out with.”

“I’m not sure I am right now.”

Jamie eyes me. There’s plenty he could say to that—and fuck, I’d let him—but instead, he smiles and shrugs like it makes perfect sense for me to be wallowing and staying in as though I’m the one who was dumped.

As though I’m the one who was attacked.

Fucking hell.

“Let me just—”

“Nah, stay in,” Jamie says. “There’ll be other times. When you’re feeling up to it.”

I rub the back of my neck. “Okay. Thanks.”

Jamie comes closer, and when he wraps his arms around me, I’m so startled that for a moment, I don’t realise it’s a hug.

“What—”

“Don’t be a pain in the arse about it.”

I laugh and hug him back. Some of the tension eases out of me, and Jamie squeezes tight before he lets go. “I won’t be back that late. I’m sure Cecile will insist on walking me home.”

“Okay. I’ll still be up.”

He doesn’t argue the point, just nods and heads for the front door. I make two cups of tea and carry them into the living room, where Nick is very focused on some crime drama I can’t make heads or tails of.

“Still sulking?” he asks when I sit down.

“Dickhead.”

“Someone’s got to be. Jamie’s being all nice to you.” He smiles when he sips his tea. “Thanks.”

“Thinking about chucking it down the drain.”

Nick laughs, and I roll my eyes, pretending I’m watching the TV, too. A few minutes later, he sighs and looks over at me. “I just don’t know what to… do about everything.”

“I don’t think you have to do anything at all.”

“I can’t wrap my head around it.”

“Know the feeling.”

He tips his head back so it rests on the back of the sofa, his hair brushing the wall. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“I’m still here for you. You know that, right?”

I smile at him. He turns his head at my silence, then smiles back.

“Yeah, I know. And the rest of it… You don’t have to worry about it, really.”

“Fuck off,” Nick grumbles. “Telling me there’re vampires out there. Like I’m not going to worry about it.”

I laugh and shake my head, settling back into the sofa. My chest still hurts. Dax is still gone.

At least everything else will be all right.