Page 21 of Fighting Fate (Monsters of London #4)

Dax

I don’t say anything to Patch as we get in the car to leave. I exchange hugs with Millie, Ed, and the boys and promise them I’ll be back soon.

Patch doesn’t seem to notice how quiet I am for a while. I’m not doing it on purpose. I’m just… I don’t know why I’m angry, only that I am. And I don’t want to yell at him about it when we’ve had a nice day out.

“What’s going on?” Patch asks.

“Nothing.” He must be able to smell my anger because his scent shifts, concern bleeding through.

“Dax…”

“You told Millie about how the pack treats me. About how you think the pack treats me.”

“Of course I did,” Patch says like it’s not a big deal at all. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Why would you? I’m fine. The pack’s fine. I don’t need—”

“The pack isn’t fine,” Patch snaps. “Ryan and the others are dicks, and you let them walk all over you.”

“I—” I clench my jaw so hard it hurts. “I don’t do that.”

“Yes, you do. For fuck’s sake, Dax. Even the bloody humans in the pub know that you’re all bark and no bite. No, not even a bark. You just apologise and let them carry on being little shits.”

“What am I supposed to do? The pack—”

“You should talk to Axel. Or one of the betas, at least. Tell them what the regulars say to you. You know they won’t stand for it.”

Do I? I swallow my growl and turn my head, looking out the window. Patch takes us around a roundabout and for a moment, all I can hear is the click of the indicator.

He blows out a breath, shifting in his seat. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t tell Axel because I knew you’d be mad about it. And I don’t… I don’t bring it up with you because I know it makes you angry. Upset. But you’re my friend, you know. The best one. If I hadn’t told Millie, I would’ve lost my temper with someone else.”

Part of me thaws. He’s not wrong about it making me angry. The pack… They care about me, for the most part. I’m just not very important. I’m not the wolf chosen to represent us—except for the classes, except for where I volunteered.

And there’s nothing appreciated about the jobs we do that keep the pack running. I’ve always known that. Could I have brought it up to Axel?

I’ve never felt so before.

But seeing Kieran’s pack—he’d know , wouldn’t he? Or Sam would. If they didn’t, the rest of their pack would know they could go to one of them.

“I’m sorry,” I say, and Patch shakes his head.

“You don’t have to—”

“I am. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”

“And I shouldn’t have told Millie,” Patch says quietly. “I just thought she might give me advice that I could use.”

“Did she?”

He snorts. “Does it seem like it?”

I laugh faintly, relaxing back into my seat. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit.

Patch is quiet for a long time. Too long, and I frown at him.

“You know you can move packs if you want to.”

“I don’t want to!”

“I know, I know, I’m just… saying. You seem happier whenever you come back from having dinner with Kieran’s pack. Or from the classes, even.”

“If this is because of Vince…”

“It’s not. Though I can’t see how it’d hurt. Nah, this is all for you, Dax. I’d be sad to see you go, but you need to make choices that help you, not hurt you.”

“I’m not leaving you anytime soon,” I say, smiling at him.

Patch smiles back, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I don’t see me staying in Axel’s pack forever,” he replies. “It’s been nice, spending time in the city, but recently I’ve been thinking more about a change.”

I gape at him. It’s not what I expected him to say at all, and I don’t know what to do with it. Patch shrugs, watching the traffic ahead.

“No rush,” he says, “for either of us. Right?”

“Right.”

Even if I can convince Vince that we’re mates and that he should give a relationship with me a shot, it’s going to take time. Kieran’s pack doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. He’s establishing himself and putting down deeper roots.

Choosing between my mate and my pack is one thing. Plenty of wolves end up doing that.

Choosing between my mate and my best friend is going to be much, much harder.

Once we’re back at our flat, I’m almost ready to settle in for the night. It’s Saturday, but it’s not as though we go out every week or anything like that. We could watch TV, chat a little more…

Except Patch seems to feel as restless as I do. He makes tea, then wanders in and out of the living room. I glare at him from my seat on the sofa.

“What are you doing?”

He takes a mouthful of tea, scowls when he burns his mouth, then shrugs. “Wanna go out?”

It’s almost ten. Early enough for it, and music and dancing might take my mind off things for a while.

I’ve been tempted to call Vince since we came back from Millie’s. I’ve had his number since the classes started, in case I need to let him know I can’t help out or anything like that, but I’ve not had to use it so far.

I want to talk to him about my pack. About how the people around me seem to think it isn’t a good fit, but that never crossed my mind at all. Vince might not know everything about wolves yet, but I feel like he’d be able to help.

It’s a bad idea. We’re slowly becoming friends, yeah, but this is… a lot. I don’t want to push.

“Okay. Where?”

Patch grins. “Where else?”

Which is how we end up outside Bite a little later on. Evan’s at the door, and he frowns, cocking his head to the side when he sees me.

“You didn’t tell me you had something going on with a human.”

My heart leaps. Vince? It has to be him. He’s the only human I’ve slept with in months—a year, even.

“He doesn’t,” Patch says, nudging me.

“No, I-I don’t.”

Evan rolls his eyes. “Wasn’t obvious or anything,” he says, “but I picked up your scent. Really?”

Patch looks at me and sighs. “We should go.”

“It’ll be fine,” I say as my wolf growls in the back of my head. Yeah, not a chance of that. I’m almost certain I can pick up Vince’s scent now, though with all the people inside, it shouldn’t be possible.

“Don’t cause any fucking trouble,” Evan mutters before he waves us in.

Patch shakes his head as he pays. “He’s right.”

“We won’t cause trouble.”

“Don’t let him hurt you, either.”

“He won’t—” I cut myself off at the flat look Patch gives me. Vince won’t hurt me on purpose. He told me what he wants—friendship—and I’m willing to stand by that.

When I walk into the club and see him, though, it’s hard to remember that. Not when I take in the tight shirt he’s wearing and how closely he’s standing to the man next to him. Who is he? It doesn’t matter, or it shouldn’t, anyway.

“Dax,” Patch warns. Is he warning me to stay away or to jump in before someone else thinks they can claim my mate?

“I’m fine,” I mutter absently, then begin to make my way through the crowd towards him.