Page 22 of Fighting Fate (Monsters of London #4)

Vince

He’s coming towards us. Nick grins at me, and I turn my face away so that Dax can’t see my expression.

I don’t know what to do.

There’s no reason he shouldn’t be here. I met him here, after all, and it was my first time coming in. It was his place first.

I glance over at Jamie. We needed somewhere safe tonight, though. No human club would be as good as this.

“Relax,” Nick hisses as he leans over. “It’ll be fine. You’re hanging out, right?”

No, not right. We’ve said we can try to be friends, but that hasn’t involved any hanging out so far. The truth is, I don’t know if I can trust myself with him. The way his face lit up when he told me he and Patch were visiting Patch’s sister this week… I wanted to kiss him then and there, all that mate bullshit be damned.

I don’t get a chance to reply. Nick tugs on my arm, getting me to turn, and when I see Dax’s hopeful smile, I’m already gone. He gives a little wave, and I can’t fight the way I smile back at him. I lean in close. “Hey. Had fun today?”

There’s no point in raising my voice too much. I know he can hear me. He ducks his head, careful not to touch me, and even the feeling of his breath on my ear makes my stomach quiver. “Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Me neither.”

Is this awkward? It feels awkward. I glance over my shoulder, catch Jamie’s smirk, and know it is. Fuck. Patch reaches us too, his expression wary, and I sigh. “Wanna dance with us?”

Dax blinks, surprised. “I… Yeah?”

I spin back around and move towards the others. “Carey, Jamie, Nick,” I say, pointing at each of them in turn. I point back at Dax and Patch. “Dax, Patch.”

“Patch?” Jamie says incredulously. The look he’s giving Patch is speculative, and Nick raises his eyebrows as he notices it too.

Patch only grins in response. “Dancing?”

We fall back into it, though I’m now very, very conscious of Dax at my side. He’s well-behaved enough and looking fucking edible in jeans that hug his thighs and a shirt unbuttoned far enough that I can see the top of his dark chest hair.

I know just how far down that hair goes. Ugh. I need to concentrate.

Jamie waggles his eyebrows at me. Little fucker. I half expect Patch to leave, but he lets Carey pull him into the rough circle we’ve formed, between her and Jamie.

It’s a lot. Almost too much. Dax is within touching distance, but if I do that, then I’m already lost. I can’t have him, and even if I could, I shouldn’t. What are the odds of us working out long-term? What would that do to his time volunteering with the classes?

We dance for a while, one song blending into the next, and I don’t realise how close me and Dax are until Carey waves to catch my attention. My hip bumps against his, and he puts a hand on my back as though to steady me.

“Be back in a minute,” Carey shouts, then darts off in the direction of the toilets.

Dax doesn’t move his hand. I don’t tell him to. Patch lifts his head from where he’s tipped it back and eyes us both but says nothing.

I move closer to Dax instead, under the guise of still dancing to the song. It’s one I like, and for a moment I really do lose myself to the music. Not for long. Dax moves his hand away and my gaze snaps to him, my body turning as it does.

He stares back. He doesn’t move as I slip closer, definitely dancing with him now, though his eyes go a little wide as though he can’t quite believe what I’m doing.

Nick taps me on the shoulder. “Getting a drink,” he shouts.

I nod, hardly even looking at him. Dax takes hold of my hip when I move even closer, and I don’t know if he wants to pull me flush against him or push me far, far away. I swallow hard. I’m being cruel, I know it, but I’m not sure what else I can do.

When I glance back, Patch and Jamie are gone, too, over with Nick at the bar. Dax leans in so he can speak into my ear. “Are you all right?”

Am I? Fuck if I know. Before I can answer, someone bumps into me from behind, shoving me into Dax hard, and he catches me, holding me in a way that I know means I won’t get hurt.

“Vince,” he says, gazing down at me. “Are you—”

I cut him off with a kiss. I don’t mean to. Of course I don’t mean to. But he looks so concerned. He makes a muffled sound against my mouth, but when I move to pull back, he tugs me closer and holds me tight.

I melt against him. My mind goes quiet for the first time in months. Dax sucks on my lower lip until I open for him, and I groan when his tongue slides alongside mine. Fuck, I want him. Every single part of him, and for one brief moment, I don’t feel any fear at all.

Dax seems to feel the same, or at least he’s kissing me like he does. He holds me like I’m precious, but he isn’t careful with the way he takes my mouth. No. He’s dirty and thorough, and when I moan again, he pulls back to take a breath.

I blink up at him. I’m hard, of course, and each breath brushes my chest against his. “Vince,” he begins.

I shake my head. I can’t hear it. If he wants to tell me no, that’s fine, but if he wants to talk about this… I can’t. I don’t know what’s come over me, why I’ve crossed that line, but I already have.

Dax seems to read it all from my face. He kisses me again, slower, and I slide a hand under his shirt and up his side. Only the fact that we’re still at the club has my hand stilling before I can shove Dax’s shirt up and toss it aside.

He kisses me once, twice, then rests his forehead against mine. I can feel the beat of his heart in his chest. It’s going as fast as mine is. “What do you want?” he asks, and he almost sounds frightened.

I swallow hard. Maybe I shouldn’t have planned tonight. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought us all here. I know what I want, and Dax does, too.

Can I have it?

“You,” I say, and when I kiss him, he lets out a groan that rumbles through me. I kiss him harder, pressing up against his front. Fuck. He’s as hard as I am, and suddenly I ache for him.

Jamie’s laugh is what has me pulling back, blinking owlishly up at Dax, who looks as confused as I do as to why we’d be interrupted. I glare in Jamie’s direction, but he just raises his glass in response. Nick’s grin is far too wide, and even Carey looks pleased.

Patch doesn’t. He looks… suspicious, at best. I hold his gaze anyway, not making a single move to put space between me and Dax, and feel a bolt of triumph when Patch looks away first.

“You planning on taking this somewhere more appropriate?” Carey asks, with a gesture that encompasses both of us.

My face heats. I force myself to look at Dax, but he’s looking at Patch. They have some kind of silent conversation that makes my stomach twist in knots because I don’t know if Dax wants to and, worse, I don’t know if he’ll refuse anyway if Patch thinks it’s not a good idea.

Dax glances at me again, then leans down so his mouth is against my ear. “Whatever you want,” he says, and my stomach flips.

Whatever I want. Even though I can see exactly what he wants. I can feel the way he wants this evening to go, but if I say no…

He’ll let me go and still be as friendly as ever the next time he sees me.

I’m silent for too long. Dax pulls back, expression drawn, and it makes something in my chest ache. I clench my fingers in the back of his shirt.

“I want you,” I say, as honest as I can be with all our friends around. Whatever. I am being honest. I want him.

Dax grins down at me. “We can stay—”

I shake my head, and fuck the others, but now that I’ve made my decision, I don’t want to wait around. “Fuck that.”

“Mine?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”