Page 56 of Fever Dream

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Grace

“Ihave money,” Elizabeth says to me the next morning.“On the outside.”

“Great, I have children.What’s your point?”

I am annoyed with her though I can’t quite pinpoint exactly why.

She shrugs.“It’s the kind of money that can help us start new lives.”

“I don’t want a new life.I want my old one.”

“There’s no going back, Grace.”

“What are you saying?”

“Only that you made me realize something.For one, when I speak, I need to offer people what they can chew.What is transparent to some is an insurmountable climb to others.”

I get the sense she’s calling me an idiot without actually saying it.

“For one?”

“Huh?”

“You said for one.What’s the other thing?”

Elizabeth smiles.“I don’t want to live my life on the run.I don’t want to come back here, not ever.”

I can understand her sentiment.This place is starting to feel more and more like a pressure cooker, like something is destined to happen, and that something isn’t going to be good.

Maybe it is the general mood of the place, maybe it is my exhaustion, but a few hours after our conversation, I didn't feel like I was in a prison anymore.

I felt like I was in a shopping mall.

I'm sure you have at least one mall near you.It's a place where people go on a Friday or Saturday afternoon to eat overpriced food and buy inexpensive things.It's a place where you can go to kill time, but not a place you go to because you have to.

It's a place you go to because you want to.

Sometimes, you end up staying all day.You look at clothes you don't need.Sometimes you buy them.Sometimes you don’t.You watch movies you don't really care to see, even going as far to make an afternoon of it.Usually, you come out with at least a few things you don't need and don't want and you’ll probably never use.But that’s not what it’s about.Not really.

It's possible that you can find happiness in a mall.

God knows, I never did.

“The other night was a test,” Elizabeth tells me with a smile.“The blackout.Brad arranged it.It was a trial run.”She grins.“He's very smart for someone so...how can I put it...Ah, yes…for someone so…inexperienced.”

"Brad?"

"Bradley from the kitchen.He calls me Lizzie.I call him Brad."She raises her brow suggestively.“We all have our fetishes.”

“You're sick.”

“Gee,” she says, rubbing her chin.“Where have I heard that before?”

Not long after that conversation,Elizabeth was called to the window in the common room.She was called away and later, when she reappeared, she had a black eye and busted lip.“What happened?”I asked, my voice filled with concern.

Elizabeth looked like she wanted to cry, much like Toby used to look when he crashed his bike but wanted to appear brave.“Like I said, we all have our fetishes, Grace.”