Page 8 of Fearless Heart
Her parent’s discussion redrew her attention.
“At least with the Sinclairs she will be protected. I will not have the lass in danger. My spies tell me the Comyns openly discussed the possibility of Queen Yolande’s bairn surviving and of their plan to use the lass to unseat Robert.”
Lillia’s heart heaved. They would send her away? And more disturbing, she wasn’t their child? Astounded by her parent’s discussion, she held tight to the door frame. Could she be the queen’s child? All heard how the queen gave birth to King Alexander’s child after he died. It was bespoken that she birthed a dead bairn. Were the rumors a falsehood?
“All believe the queen lost the bairn. Why would the Comyns care if the queen’s child survived?”
“My dear, the child would be a direct descendant of King Alexander’s. That child would then be in line to rule the kingdom since there are no legitimate male heirs. I thought she was safe since the Guardians who witnessed the event are dead. The Bruce is the rightful ruler, and he’s gone to great lengths to secure our kingdom. If anyone finds out her birth, she’ll be used as a pawn to oust King Robert. We cannot let that happen, Gillian. Please agree with me, for I will be disheartened if ye don’t.”
“I suppose I have to agree with you. Very well, Aylmer. Have the Sinclairs arrived? Will you make the betrothal this day? Even now there could be Comyns attending the festival. She might be endangered and should leave at the soonest.”
Her father ran his hands through his light hair and over his face. “Aye, which is why I’ve forbidden her to leave the keep. The Sinclairs arrived before noon. I will meet with them shortly to settle the agreement. You may want to ensure Lillia is readied for she will depart with them when they leave the festival.”
Her mother wiped at her eyes and nodded. “How am I to say farewell to my only daughter?”
Lillia bolted down the hall and closed the door to her chamber. Her heart beat frantically. She’d be wedded to one of the Sinclairs? That’s why he wouldn’t allow her to leave the keep. What did he mean aboutused as a pawnandthe king will be ousted? Would those who searched for her truly put her on the throne? She wasn’t about to sit around and await the terrible news. Lillia pulled a tartan over her shoulders and hurried down the steps.
She left the keep and practically ran through the mass of people standing in the center of the courtyard. Never in her life had she wanted to flee from her home. She’d never intently disobeyed her father either. Until this day. Lillia wanted to be gone, to be as far away as possible. She certainly didn’t want to be wedded to a Sinclair. Likewise, she didn’t want to be put on the throne.
As she reached the cottages near the back of the keep, she slowed her pace and tried to control her breath. The mad dash sent of rush of warmth through her and she couldn’t calm. Several of her friends, most married women, sat together enjoying their midday meal. She took the open spot on the bench next to Hilde, a beautiful lady who married her brother Gawin. Susannah sat across from her. She wedded her brother Hamish.
“Lillia, we were wondering where you were and expected you earlier. Here,” Hilde said, and handed her nephew over.
She held the bairn and smiled. There was nothing akin to a baby to brighten one’s spirit no matter how down one was. Lillia adored her nephews and nieces. Thomas was the youngest and newly born. She set a light kiss on his head. “He sleeps.”
“Aye and don’t jostle him or I’ll never finish my supper.” Hilde piled her trencher and sat back with a contented smile.
Lillia needed aid and thought of her brothers. Surely they would get her to safety. “Where are Gawin and Hamish?”
Hilde grumbled and swallowed her food before answering, “They’re likely besotted by now. Aye, they took to drink earlier in the day and took to carousing with the other clansmen. I fear we may have to put our husbands to bed this night.”
“Aye, if they can walk home.” Susannah laughed at something Maudie whispered in her ear. Maudie, Susannah’s sister, was shy and often spoke low when the ladies met for entertainments.
Hilde poked her arm. “What’s wrong with you? I can tell something is bothering you? You’re never this quiet.”
Lillia shrugged her shoulder. She wouldn’t speak of what she’d learned this day and the apparent trouble she was in. “Nothing really. Tell me what you were discussing before I came? Obviously Susannah finds it humorous.”
Hilde choked on a piece of meat she’d just stuck in her mouth. After she swallowed and drank a sip of water, she grinned. “Our discussion was comical, but not for your ears. It involves marital duties.”
She raised a brow. “Oh? I’m certain my ears can handle such discussion. What say you? What marital duties? Do you mean those in the bedchamber? Mother told me all and was descriptive. She says there’s nothing to fear. Besides, I’m well past the marriage age.”
Susannah chuckled. “Hilde told us that Gawin wanted her to use her mouth to—”
Hilde smacked her hand over Susanna’s mouth. “Gracious be, Sus. Speak not of that. Lillia is young and hasn’t coupled yet. She shouldn’t know of such things.” She turned away and hid her blush.
Susannah giggled and touched her arm. “My dearest sister, we spoke of things beneath the covers, but mostly we debated about how many times it takes … coupling in order to … well, that is …”
“For goodness sake, Susannah, the cat has your tongue this day, doesn’t it? She means to say we think you can only couple with your husband three times before he begets you with child. Aye, so if you wish to remain free of bairns, don’t allow your husband to prickle the kitty … any more than twice in a short amount of time.” Hilde’s words fervent and solemn. “I shouldn’t have allowed Gawin to touch me, but he’s so handsome I fear I’d never refute him.”
Lillia scrunched her eyes at the term ‘prickle the kitty’ for it was the humorous phrase they’d used when referring to making love. “This is what you’ve been discussing? Good Lord, you should be ashamed of yourselves. I need to go before it gets dark.” She handed her wee nephew back to his mother. “I shall see you later … I … I must leave.” Lillia swallowed a sob, certain she would weep at the thought of leaving her home and never seeing them again. She hastened away before they could ask what had upset her.
Her friends were delightful, and she was gladdened they never excluded her from their marital discussions. Now that she would marry, she wanted to remember all their discussions. The last was definitely of interest because she certainly didn’t want children right away. Lillia wanted to ensure her and her husband’s relations prospered before they added anyone to the mix.
Oh Lord Above. Why was she thinking nonsensical thoughts? Who cared? Right now she was in danger. Forget a husband … begetting children … How was she going to go through with the marriage to a Sinclair? What about her vow to her heart? She couldn’t renounce what was in her heart and the likelihood of her loving another didn’t seem possible.
Should she thwart the marriage? The possibility that she’d ever see her love again was doubtful since he’d been gone for numerous years. For Lillia love was too important to cast aside. Many women wedded men whom they did not love. Obviously her father thought she’d be safer with the Sinclairs. Perhaps she should obey and marry the man. Her friend’s discussion would definitely be considered if she went through with the betrothal.
She ambled through the festival grounds with nowhere to go in sight. With her father’s declaration, she realized this would be her last night on Hunter land. It might be the last night she’d be with her family. Despair came upon her thinking such, but being a dutiful daughter, she had to follow her father’s dictate. She always knew he’d choose her husband even if she’d rejected a handful of suitors already. But why, oh why, did he have to live so far away?