Page 25 of Fearless Heart
Chapter Eight
On the road to the abbey, Heath kept to his thoughts. He’d known Lillia all his life. She couldn’t be the missing heir. He had to be mistaken in his supposition and she denied it. He had to believe her. When he told her of the queen’s bairn, there was a moment he’d thought she’d confess. Then again, perhaps she was saddened by the tale. Women were often moved by the woeful story of a perilous bairn. If only Graeme hadn’t interrupted them.
Brodin kept in stride with him and gave him an inquisitive glance. “Did ye ask her? I told Graeme and Liam about your suspicion. We need to ken if she’s the queen’s bairn.”
Graeme slowed his pace as did Liam. Heath peered ahead. He had to give them an answer and shrugged his shoulder.
“I didn’t have time to gain the truth.”
“’Tis my fault, is it not?” Graeme frowned at Liam and turned his gaze back to the trail.
Brodin chortled at their leader. “What the hell were you doing all that time, Heath?”
“What do ye think he was doing? I walked in a got a view of his bare arse.”
His comrades hooted in laughter at Graeme’s admission.
Heath shrugged off their teasing. “I did ask her, but Graeme came before I got a proper answer or could press her further. I don’t deem she’s the missing heir. She was saddened by what I told her, but otherwise she didn’t react.”
Graeme rode ahead. “Mayhap James will bring news about the bairn or at least a location where it might be.”
They reached the abbey, but James hadn’t arrived. Heath asked Friar Hemm to listen his confession again. He left his comrades and awaited the clergyman in the small chapel. After the friar joined him, he sat in the confessional and wavered.
“What troubles you? You were here but a sennight ago. Surely you haven’t done any misdeeds since then? Ah, but something has changed ye for I saw it in your eyes. Have you given thought to what I bespoke the last time we met?”
Heath leaned back and folded his hands. He tried to ease his tenseness and took a deep breath. “I have, Friar, but that’s not why I’m here. I want to confess a grave sin. I fornicated with a lass, one that I’ve knowns since we were wee.”
“And this troubles you because …”
“Obviously because we are not wedded and even though I took other women out of wedlock to my bed, I am disheartened to dishonor her.”
Friar Hemm leaned forward, but kept his face directed away from the small opening. “There is a way to rectify it. You can marry the woman.”
Heath rubbed his face and leaned back so the friar couldn’t see him. He was afraid that would be the friar’s answer.
“Heath, did ye hear me? If you want to right this sin, you’ll need to wed the lass at the soonest. It is the only penance I can offer.”
“Do I detect a hint of mirth in your voice, Friar?”
He chuckled. “Nay, not at all. Bring the lass here and I’ll perform the sacrament of marriage myself. Are there any other sins you’d like to confess?”
“I suppose I will need to rethink my position with the order.”
“I ken that troubles you, but remember, Heath, there is more than one way to serve God. There are many ways. You will find your way, just as I have, others have.”
“My thanks, Friar.” Heath left the confessional, exasperated and downright disturbed at what the friar suggested. He must give it consideration, but not until he was certain Lillia wasn’t the queen’s bairn. And the thought of giving up his goal to serve God … He shouldn’t wed her. Yet the sin of their deed weighed on him.
The remainder of the day, he walked the grounds of the abbey reflecting on his conversation with Hemm. He cared for his horse and checked a good many horses in the stable for loose shoes and oiled their harnesses. The stable lads didn’t give a care he tended their chores. Heath needed to keep busy or he’d go mad with his thoughts. He’d forgotten to purchase a new harness and tried to mend the one he had until he could.
He picked up a pitchfork and cleared out his horse’s stall. As he pitched the soiled hay, he heard someone approach.
“I’m pleased you’re here. I haven’t much time.”
Heath turned at the sound of James’ voice.
“Here, see to my horse.” James tossed the reins at him.
He threw them back. “I’m not your damned squire, James. See to your own horse.”