Page 65 of Fearless Heart
His words filled with rancor as if he was displeased and yet it affected him not. She didn’t know how to respond, but said, “Aye, we wedded. If you’ll excuse me, I need to find my husband.”
Andrew snickered in a mock sound. “Are ye certain he wishes to be found?”
Lillia held her throat which heated from their round of discussion. What exactly was he implying? She daren’t ask.
“He’s with his brother discussing matters of import, clan matters that don’t pertain to women, a mere Hunter lass, or misbegotten wives.”
“I see,” her voice strained getting the words out. Lillia wanted to flee. The man made her nervous as if he would lunge at her and strangle her with his bare hands. He likely was much stronger than she was even at his great age, and probably capable of such a foul deed.
“Do ye, lass? Now that Roderick has returned, Heath can at last pursue his desire to serve God as he’d always intended. Och, but that shan’t be. Not since he wed you, a nobody from an insignificant pathetic clan. Oh, how your father plies my own brother with his sorrowful excuses and concerns. Mayhap one day your clan might protect themselves instead of compelling all their allies to rescue them.”
Lillia kept moving away from the vile man. She didn’t like his harsh tone or the surly way he looked at her. His words affected her, and she despaired that Heath was put in such a position. And the way he spoke of her family, not only angered her, but brought forth her fear.
“I must leave. I bid you a good day.” Lillia fled the hall and escaped to the outside. The cold wind swept through her and she shivered. She wasn’t sure the chilly air was the cause of her shiver, for Heath’s uncle would send shivers of dread through the most courageous of woman.
She strolled along with nowhere to go in sight. Woeful yearnings came. She’d caused Heath nothing but trouble since she’d found him at the caves. There was only one way to rectify the situation and that solution caused her heart to ache with a vengeance.
Snow cascaded and fat flakes spotted her overdress. Lillia didn’t feel the cold any longer–only the intense pain of disappointment.
“There you are.”
She spotted Heath walking toward her. How handsome he appeared. He’d always been attractive to her with his bonny blue eyes and light brown hair. She noticed every hair, every curve of his face, the dip in his chin, the fullness of his lips, and the despair in his eyes. Her heart weighed heavy.
“Sweetness, you’re going to freeze out here.” He removed a layer of his tartan and set it around her shoulders.
She reveled in its softness, his scent, and its warmth.
“Something is bothering you. What is it?” He reached out to her.
Lillia withdrew and stepped back. “Nay, nothing is bothering me.”
Heath smiled and she longed to touch him as she was wont, to smooth her hand along his firm jawline and offer empathy for their latest bout of problems. Lillia wanted him to kiss her and distract her from thinking of the plight before them.
“I didn’t mean to be cross last eve. I might’ve been a wee bit harsh. But it wasn’t—”
“You have good reason to be ireful with me,” she said and pulled the tartan tighter around her. She wanted to defend herself, but the severity of her words dejected her nonetheless. There was nothing to do but confess her musings.
“Do I? What could you ever do … Have ye done something wrong?”
Lillia’s shoulders sunk a wee bit. She needed to yell, shout, or scream the vex that plagued her. Instead, she took a calming breath and spoke clearly, “You know right well what I’ve done.” She turned away from him and wouldn’t look upon his beautiful face.
He embraced her from behind. “Lillia, nothing you do would ever cause me to be ireful with you. I meant no offense last eve. I’d received shocking news and I reacted badly. My wrath was taken out on you and I fear I’ve hurt you. Tell me that is not so and that you forgive me.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. She spun in his arms and wept akin to a bairn. It wasn’t like her to be emotional, but there she was, completely undone. With all her heart she wanted to forgive him. But it was his forgiveness she sought.
“Ah, lass, it’s not as bad as that … Is it?” He lifted her chin and set a light kiss on her lips.
“Aye it is. It’s because of me that your friends had to leave their home. I caused you nothing but hardship and now … You can’t even pursue your life’s ambition.”
He caressed her hair. “You heard about Roderick’s return.”
She nodded. “I did. Your mother told me. And now you’re free to do as you are wont. Only, you’re not because we … married. I won’t let you sacrifice yourself once again. I shall write to my father at once. He will gain a dispensation from the church. You’ll be free to serve God as you are wont. I won’t interfere. I only beg for your forgiveness, Heath, for putting you through this hell these past months. But I beg you not to worry for me. I shall fare well.”
“But, Sweetness—”
Lillia freed herself from his hold. She held out her hand, stopping him from stepping forward. “Nay, Heath, you never wanted to marry me and only did so to be honorable. You did so to keep me from being imprisoned by the king. I heard you say so. I won’t let this continue. Please, I must go.” She turned and ran along the lane, past the cottages, past the corral where the horses whinnied, past the kitchens where smoke billowed through the openings in the thatch.
But Lillia was blinded by her tears. Heath shouted after her, and she ran until she was breathless. When she stopped running, she stood by the high willows whose remaining leaves showered upon her intermixed with the fat snowflakes. The large willows reminded her of when she’d shared her first kiss with Heath.
There was nothing to do but wallow in sorrow for she’d lost—lost the only person who had ever mattered to her.