Page 21 of Fearless Heart
“Did he tell you the king would have our heads for disobeying him if we’re caught?”
She raised her brows, disbelieving the fair and just King Robert would harm them for being noble. “Truly, Heath? The king wouldn’t do that.”
Heath visibly sighed. “We ken Robert better than most. But he’ll have no choice but to execute us if we’re found and turned over to him.”
“Why would he?” Lillia shivered, but she wasn’t sure if it was from her recent bath in the stream or the chill of his words. “Do you mean he intends to prove his will to control others through you?”
“He will set an example by us, if that’s what you mean. Sweetness, if you are in danger … If you have secrets, you should speak of them now. The guard and I have ways to protect you.”
“Do you have secrets? Are you willing to share them? I think not. Neither am I. I heard about why your father sent you away. That you left your brother captured in the enemy’s dungeon. Is it true?”
A glimmer of remorse reached his eyes, but he quickly changed his expression to one of indifference. “Aye, I won’t deny what is said. And I’ve paid for my treachery. When this is over, Lillia …”
She touched his hand and tried to soothe him. “You’ll find yourself a beautiful woman and marry and beget children. You’ll rule your father’s lands and be a good and just laird.”
“That is not what I deem to happen.”
His voice lowered to such a pitch she almost didn’t hear him. Lillia sat enthralled with each word he spoke. Heath poured out his heart, telling her of his trek to France, how torn he was at leaving his brother behind, how he intended to make amends for those he killed, how he kept a tally of each life he’d taken, how he wanted God’s grace.
By the time he finished, tears streaked her cheeks.
“When my service is over, I intend to serve God as I’ve vowed to.”
She wiped at her face and leaned against him. “As a second son, that would’ve suited, but now you are in line to succeed your father. You must marry and have heirs. Laird Fraser needs to know the clan will be in good hands when he is gone. Your clan needs you. Will you leave them to perish without a leader? Oh I just had a horrid thought … Do you intend to allow your Uncle Andrew succeed your father?” Lillia wanted to say more, but refrained because Andrew Fraser was a frightening man.
Heath lowered his chin. “That’s a deplorable thought. I ken and I’m torn. I will find a way to perhaps do both.”
Lillia wanted to weep and hastily rubbed away the tears that rimmed her eyes. There was sorrow in his heart and she wanted to be the one to console him. She shimmied closer to him and set her hand on his leg. “You deserve happiness, Heath. Surely you’ve done more good than bad. Mayhap those men,” she inclined her head at the tassel, “deserved to die. God wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“I hold it against me.”
“I remember you being most serious when we were young, but now you’re even more somber. What happened to you?”
“War happened, killing, injustice, many things …”
Lillia couldn’t beat him over the head with her subtlety when she mentioned his future; a life which she’d hoped included her. “I would marry you.”
Heath laughed. His beautiful blue eyes shone with mirth. She was almost crestfallen.
“You’re like a sister to me. I’ve known ye when you were still in swaddling clothes.”
“Am I? I aim to prove you wrong, Heath Fraser.” She hiked up her still soggy skirts and sat astride on his lap facing him. She gathered the fabric of his tunic in her hands and pulled him forward. “Aye, for you’re about to get some good sense kissed into you.”
Lillia set her lips on his. She didn’t care if he thought her wanton. For years she’d cherished Heath and she’d be damned if she’d allow him to consider her as a sister. Lillia wasn’t experienced in the ways to seduce a man, but her female companions never refrained from speaking of bedchamber matters. She knew well what went on behind closed doors.
She splayed her hands over his chest and purposely rubbed her body against his. The kiss turned tawdry, hot, and oh so pleasing. She kept in pace with the way his tongue teased hers. Never dreaming people kissed in such a way, she was completely caught up in the sensations and the way her body responded. Heat infiltrated her body, and she moaned when Heath jerked her hard against him.
A humorous thought occurred to her–she had proved him wrong. He didn’t think of her as a sister. Not with the way he was kissing her. He dragged his mouth from hers, but didn’t push her way. His hands and arms surrounded her. She reveled at being held by him and gripped his arms. The taut muscles of his biceps hardened and his strength held her captive. Lillia breathed in his scent and fingered the hair by his neck. Everything about him unsettled her, but it was the good sort of discomfit.
“Sweetness, this is wrong …”
She took hold of his face. “Oh, nay, it is right. I have always wanted you, Heath, since the day you caught me dancing near the stables and didn’t dare laugh at me. I’ve never forgotten how gallant you were. Why do you deem I never married? I waited for you.”
“I cannot deny that I want you but—”
She set a finger against his hard manly lips. “Why shouldn’t we be together? My father intended to marry me off to a heathen when he had no business—”
Heath clasped her wrist when she tried to pull away. “Had no what? He’s your father and has every right to settle you.”
“He cares not what happens to me. All that I shall do will be wrong in his eyes. Why shouldn’t I follow my heart?” She wanted to shout her frustration, but resisted. Lillia wasn’t one to ever be angry, but angst filled her. Her father should have told her of the circumstances and given her a chance to offer a suggestion rather than send her off to a heathen clan who practically lived in the far-reaches of Scotland.
He pulled her into his embrace. “Would that we were all free to follow our hearts, lass. But I have taken a sworn oath to protect my comrades, the king, Scotland. Piled atop those daunting charges, I have vowed to make amends for those I’ve killed. I am not free, Lillia, to follow my heart no matter how much I long to.”
She wanted to ease him, but knew not how. One way or another he would be hers. She’d waited too long for his return and now that she’d found him again, she wouldn’t lose him.
“Ah, so you are saying ye want me. I’m not dreaming this, am I?” She laughed and hoped to lighten their discussion.
He grinned and set her aside and rose. “Nay, Sweetness, you’re not dreaming.”