Page 70 of Fearless Heart
She shook her head. “Oh, there’s plenty more. My father doesn’t know I’ve wed Heath. He’s going to be wrath that I’ve thwarted my betrothal to another clan, the Sinclairs. Surely they’ll seek retribution and wage war on my clan as well as the Frasers. Piled atop those issues, I am certain I’m expecting a bairn.”
“You poor lass. Are you not pleased about the bairn? I only ask because … There are ways to handle an unwanted child. What do you plan to do? Will you flee from your husband and add to the problems or shall you confront these issues head on like the brave lass you are?”
Lillia wiped at the tears, slowly falling upon her cheek. “Fiona, your words are gracious, but I am the farthest from being brave. I love my husband, yet I fear he doesn’t love me. Of course I would have the child, but I know not whether to tell him. I wish to set him free so he can serve God as he desired.”
Fiona opened a satchel and pulled a small sack from inside. “Let us ponder this. But first, I must tell you … I have wanted to give my husband heir for some time. I’ve tried many a remedy, but I haven’t conceived. Yet my dear Henry still professes to love me. He says it matters not because he has many a brother and nephew who would lead the clan after he’s gone.”
“I’m sorry, Fiona. And here I am wallowing in my problems. Is there aught I can do?”
“I only tell you of my plight because your husband will be beyond joyous at your news. All men want an heir, to carry on their name. You give him the greatest of gifts.”
She nodded, but didn’t feel he’d be as jubilant as the lady led her to believe. “I was going to leave, to return to my family and beg my father to send for an indulgence. That way my husband will be free to serve God. I shall need to hide from the king and the betrothal my father agreed to would be a saving grace for the clan lives too afar for the king to track me. That is if the Sinclair will have me.”
Fiona pressed a piece of bread in her hand. “Ah but you do not love the Sinclair, do you? Eat, you’ll need your strength. You know what I think, Lillia? That no problem is easily solved. ‘Tis likely your husband doesn’t wish to serve God any longer. As for your betrothal, your bairn nullifies that union. Surely the king has more urgent matters to attend to than care about a wee woman prevailing him. You can send a missive letting him know you don’t have designs on his crown. And that you refute any knowledge of your birthright. Inform him that you are married and are a modest woman, with simple demands of her husband. The king will believe such nonsense.”
“Mayhap you are right. I should return and reveal my news to my husband. He’s likely worried about me for I’ve been out here all day. I pondered these problems and to no avail that is until I came across you.” She squeezed Fiona’s hand in thanks.
Fiona patted her hand. “I believe problems such as these are best dealt with by joined efforts. Allow your husband to help you. It will certainly give him the manliness all men covet if he’s part of the solutions. Sometimes it is best to allow men to believe they’ve solved all our problems, when really we just want them to listen.”
Lillia laughed. “You’re correct in that. Will you come with me? I should be glad for the support and I’m sure your husband shall be gladdened you are with him instead of out here in the bitter cold. The night grows colder.”
“Aye, I shall come. There is something I wish to impart to my husband, a confession of sorts. And I do long for a warm bed.” Fiona stood. She directed the men to douse the fire. Her maidservant collected her belongings and followed them.
They started off toward the keep, and Lillia considered everything Lady MacKintosh told her. She needed to speak with Heath at the soonest and set all these problems to right. Upon their sojourn to the keep, Lillia grew weary. She wanted to sleep for nigh on two days, but first she had to reason with Heath.
Lillia entered the keep and stopped short at the opening of the great hall. Inside filled to capacity with many men. Voices rose and some clamored, boasted, and bellowed. She looked back at Fiona and back at the vast company.
“Are all these men from Clan MacKintosh?”
Fiona chuckled. “Nay, we brought only ten men with us.”
Near the hearth, she spotted her father standing beside Laird Fraser, Heath’s da. There seemed to be bit of revelry about the crowd, for the men smiled and laughed at many a jest. The serving women flitted about the chamber, refilling cups. She approached her father and bowed to him.
“You are no longer my daughter.”
“I was never your daughter. Yet you loved me once. Can you not again?” She wiped at her eyes, wishing with all her might that she would cease weeping. But his displeasure hurt her, and she despaired at being the cause of his rage.
Her father scoffed, but didn’t retort.
Laird Fraser held out his hand and she took it. “Lass, you’re safe and well. I’m gladdened to hear you wed my Heath, for I always knew you would make a handsome couple. Do they not, Aylmer? And cease your bristle, for the lass has been through a time. You cannot be angry with her, not as bonny as she is. By my faith, ye practically married her to the Sinclairs. That alone should make ye atone for that sin. Don’t send your daughter away in anger.”
Her father flinched as Laird Fraser spoke his peace.
Lillia squeezed Heath’s father’s hand. “Laird Fraser, you are kind in your words. But my da has a right to be ireful. I fled our home, and I should’ve told him I wished not to wed the Sinclair. But he should have told me of my birthright. I should’ve been prepared for what was to come. I should have told him long ago I wanted to wed Heath, but he was gone and I …” She trembled from having to reveal all to her father, the man whom she’d held dear in her heart.
Her father stood and pulled her into his arms. “Ah, lass, I’m sorry. Aye, you’re right. We should’ve told you about that. I’m relieved to see you safe. Are you happy being wed to Heath?”
With all that happened, the last thing Lillia wanted to do was draw her father into her problems. She nodded. “Aye, all is well.” Lord, she was really getting good at fabrication. “I shall leave you to Laird Fraser. Tell Mother I shall visit when I can. And I assume the lads made it home safely?”
Her father nodded. “Aye, all thanks to the king’s guard. Go and join your husband, for he is standing yonder with an odd expression on his face.”
She turned and found Heath directly beyond her, standing next to Lady MacKintosh.
“Lillia, where have you been all day? I wanted to come and find you, but as you can see, we were inundated with company.” Heath pulled her aside and kissed her face.
She relaxed and was solaced by his expression which was free of ire. Lillia expected him to be wrath about her absence, about what she’d said to him before running off. “I was out … walking and lost track of time. I came across Lady MacKintosh.”
Heath bowed to her. “My thanks for returning my lady, Lady MacKintosh.”