Page 14 of Fanboy in the Falls (Devon Falls #3)

“I don’t even know how to say this,” he whispers.

He crosses his arms, then gulps, then looks back and forth between us.

“This still all feels like a dream.” He shakes his head and drops it down.

“I can’t be with either of you anyway,” he finally says, softly.

“Not in public at least. I’m sorry. But I just can’t. ”

Colin’s eyes leap to mine. I shake my head.

No, I don’t understand either.

“Why not?” I ask.

Gabe pulls his arms more tightly against his body. “My stepfather,” he murmurs. “Lou’s dad. He thinks I’m straight. He wouldn’t like it.”

I can’t help the scoff that escapes me. “Lou’s dad grew up here, in a town with more rainbow flags than cows. Are you telling us he’s homophobic?”

Gabe sighs. “After my mom got sick, he changed. A lot. He started spending a lot of time in these online chat rooms, and he started saying things he never would have before. Stuff about gay people, and lesbians, and anyone who doesn’t fit his idea of what a man is supposed to be.

” He shakes his head. “He wouldn’t like it if he found out I was dating a guy, and I don’t know what that would mean for me and Lou.

Anyway, the point is that I can’t date either of you.

No matter how much I want to.” He shrugs and sends me a soft, half-smile.

“At least I finally got my first kiss tonight. I’ll always remember that, Tom. ”

My mind boggles. “That was your first kiss?” Colin and I share another quick glance.

“I really wasn’t kidding about the virgin thing.” Gabe shifts back and forth gently from one foot to the other. “Do you think—” He shakes his head. “No, never mind. It’s ridiculous. I don’t think that—”

“Gabe,” Colin interrupts, and I recognize that voice.

It’s the same voice he used to use with driving rookies who were psyching themselves out before a race.

He’d put his hands on their shoulders, look them in the eye, and talk to them like a spooked horse.

His technique always worked to get them out of their head and into the car.

“Gabe,” he says again. “Just tell us what you’re thinking.”

Gabe coughs slightly, and he opens his mouth. And then he blurts out, “What if I got to kiss both of you? And it’s okay with me if, like, Tom watches while I kiss Colin. And the other way around. And we just never told anyone?”

Colin lets out a choked laugh. “You want to kiss me while Tom watches? And you want Tom to kiss you while I watch?”

Gabe winces. “I know, it’s a terrible idea!

I was just thinking that I really like you both, a lot, and I never got to kiss Colin.

” He shakes his head. “But now I wouldn’t want to kiss one of you while the other isn’t there, because that might feel, like, weird or something?

Like I was cheating on one of you with the other, I guess.

And even though I really liked kissing you earlier, Tom, I know we both felt awful when Colin found out by accident.

But we could never date or anything, and no one could ever find out since secrets in Devon Falls are like milk that gets left out, so, yeah.

Like I said. It’s probably a terrible idea.

” He lets out a long breath, one he’s definitely earned after that speech.

“Milk that gets left out?” Colin mumbles.

“It spoils,” I mutter back. And then I find myself speechless. Because the idea of kissing Gabe, and possibly doing more with Gabe, with my best friend there watching doesn’t turn me off… quite the opposite, in fact. That particular type of scene may have appeared in more than one fantasy I’ve had.

But I could never ask Colin to engage in this idea. His feelings for Gabe are something so new and strong for him. He deserves to keep them between himself and Gabe.

But Colin only shrugs. “Sure, why not?” he says.

“If Tom’s good with it, I mean.” He laughs.

“Those firefighters seem happy enough with their situation, even though what they have is a little different than what we’re talking about.

I want to kiss Gabe, and so do you, right, Tom?

” He turns to look at me, and I can only nod, speechless.

“So let’s try this out. I’m cool with the idea if you both are.

” He takes a step toward Gabe. “But if your stepfather’s putting you in some kind of danger, Gabe… ”

I’m still gaping at Colin when Gabe’s phone starts vibrating.

He pulls it from his pocket. “You don’t need to worry about me, I promise.

I can take care of myself and Lou. Oh, and Lou’s awake.

I’ve got to get back to the inn.” He shakes his head.

“Listen, Tom, you don’t have to say anything. It was a stupid idea, and I—”

“Tomorrow,” I interrupt him before I can change my mind. “Tomorrow we finish tiling the shower in room four. Well, you two will be doing the tiling; I’ll be choosing new drapes. Then all three of us will come back to Colin’s house before you pick up Lou from school.”

Gabe shakes his head back and forth wildly. “I can’t believe any of this is even happening,” he mumbles to himself. “But I really have to go. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He jogs off the porch and down the driveway.

And then Colin and I are left alone on the porch. We both sit there in silence for many, many long minutes before Colin finally stands up and goes inside.