Page 20

20

T here’s no parking available when I arrive in front of Roan’s apartment building, so I just park in front of the house, telling myself it will be fine.

I ring the bell, wait for the buzzer, then repeatedly press the button for the elevator, but unfortunately, it doesn’t appear within three seconds, so I take the stairs. Two steps at a time.

Eoin peers around the cracked-open door as I arrive, breathless. He gives me a relieved and knowing smile as I enter. They’re still here. All except Kitty.

Roan sits on the sectional sofa, leaning forward, his face buried in his hands.

It’s now or never.

“I love you too.”

Everyone looks at me. Roan slowly lifts his head. His eyes are red. He’s been crying.

“What did you say?” he asks hoarsely.

“I’m such an idiot. It took me ages to figure it out because I obviously know absolutely nothing about my feelings. But I love you.” I lift my shoulders and drop them again. “And I’m so incredibly sorry that I left you alone today and ran away. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Forgive me. And if you can’t…”

Before I can finish the sentence, Roan is in front of me, pulling me into his arms and lifting me up. I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding him as tightly as I can. I can feel his breath on my skin. And I am happy.

Apart from Roan, I can’t see anything. I have no idea what’s going on with the others.

I can only feel his hands on me, his breath, his lips. He takes us to his bedroom, kicks the door shut noisily behind us, and lays us both down on the bed.

He looks at me with a smile, caresses my cheek. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

His smile becomes radiant; there’s no other way to put it. That’s how I want to be looked at every morning for the rest of my life. Over and over again. Never any other way.

“Say it again,” he repeats.

I laugh, place my fingers on the back of his neck, pull his face to mine. “I love you.”

And then I don’t have to do anything else because Roan’s lips capture mine. This kiss. It’s simply everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s tender and passionate. Wild and intimate. It is love. Through and through.

As I catch my breath, I look into his eyes, and I never want to look away. They tell me everything. How beautiful he thinks I am. How clever. How funny and unique. How much he loves me as a woman, as a friend, as a partner. How much he wants me; how attractive and sexy he finds me.

The things he wants to do with me. Wild things. Gentle things. All things. His eyes promise me a future that I never wanted before now but now want more than anything. And most of all, they tell me that it’s okay. That he’s scared too, and that we can be scared together.

“When did you know?” I whisper as he caresses my cheek again.

“I knew it when you said, ‘Hey, what’s a girl gotta do to get a drink? Show her tits?’”

I laugh. “I don’t remember saying that!”

He grins. “Yes, you did. At Juicy’s. They were the first words I ever heard you say.”

I stare at him, a little stunned. “You’re telling me it was love at first sight for you?”

He nods. “At first sight, at the first word, at the first laugh. Whatever you want to call it. I knew you were my girl the second I saw you, a thaisce .”

“That doesn’t really mean ‘little one’, does it?” I ask in realization.

He looks a little sheepish. “Not quite.”

“What does it mean?”

“My darling.”

“But you’ve been calling me that since the first night we slept together,” I stammer in surprise.

He shrugs. “Just proves that it was always clear to me.”

“And I was just…completely blind.”

“No, you just needed time.”

“Time for me to fall in love with you.”

“Exactly.”

I bite my lip. “I’ve been hurting you all this time, haven’t I?”

“No, it’s all good. I knew you could only get there at your own pace. But I’m glad you didn’t start dating anyone else. That could have been painful. For him.” He grins wolfishly, and my blood starts to heat.

“I never meant to hurt you,” I say.

“I know that. You didn’t hurt me. Feelings are what they are.”

“If this hadn’t come up today, how long were you going to wait?”

“I would have waited forever. You never minded me touching or kissing you. That’s what kept me afloat.”

“I am such an idiot.”

“A particularly sweet one.”

“And everyone else knew this whole time?”

“Of course! I had to make it clear to the boys that you belong to me.”

I give him a dry smile. “So, you staked your claim, so to speak.”

Roan nods, amused. “Pretty much. And I asked them all to not mention my feelings for you, although it almost went wrong at the first family dinner because no one watches what they say at family dinner.”

“And I didn’t notice anything.”

“You didn’t know what to look for.”

“You even told my parents.”

“I wanted to let them know my intentions so they wouldn’t think I was taking advantage of you or anything.”

“And Nina?”

“She knows, too.”

“How did you manage that?”

“Believe it or not, we met by chance while shopping. She didn’t recognize me at first, which is no wonder because when we first met she had more eyes for my dick than my face.”

“You really enjoy bringing that up, don’t you?”

“How can I resist? My cock is magnificent, after all.” He grins.

“I’ve actually forgotten. I’ll have to look at it again.”

He presses his pelvis against mine, and I can feel his excitement. “I think we can arrange that.”

I kiss him tenderly, but it escalates very quickly, and almost immediately, we are pulling each other’s clothes off, trying to touch everything at once, not missing a single spot. When we are finally naked, Roan reaches for a condom in his bedside drawer, slips it on, and slowly, oh so slowly, penetrates me.

No foreplay, no finesse. Just the desire for connection, immediately and right there.

“I love you, a thaisce .”

His movements are slow and deep as if he couldn’t bear to be even an inch away from me.

I dig my fingers into his shoulders, caress the back of his neck, and dig my fingers into his hair, pulling him toward me for a deep kiss.

“I love you too,” I breathe.

He stills inside of me, lifting me slightly, so he can put his arms around me. “You make me so incredibly happy,” he murmurs.

“And you me.”

Our bodies are entwined, and so are our hearts. Then he lets go of me, props his elbows up next to me, and holds my face with both hands before he starts to thrust deep and long into me.

“Oh God, Roan,” I moan.

He takes this as an opportunity to thrust faster and faster. He releases one hand from my cheek, pulls my knee up, and gets a different angle, one that gives me a lot of pleasure.

“Yes! Keep going! Don’t stop!” I cry.

And he doesn’t. Quite the opposite. He fucks me faster until I start to contract around his cock.

“Oh God. Fuck!”

Roan lowers his head, takes a nipple in his mouth, sucks hard while he holds my face with one hand, and sticks his thumb in my mouth.

I suck on him almost frantically until I’m swept away by a terrific orgasm that leaves me breathless. Roan follows me; then he collapses on top of me. I wrap my arms around him, listen to his steadying breath and am just so incredibly happy.

Later, he lies on his side next to me, stroking my stomach in lazy circles.

“You have such a gorgeous body.”

“And you have a magnificent ass,” I reply with a laugh.

Roan leans forward and licks the tender skin of my breasts, in large circles at first, then smaller and smaller ones, ending at my nipple, before repeating the game on the other side.

“Should I go topless from now on?” I joke.

“Please.”

“Outside too?”

He shrugs. “I’m not jealous of that sort of thing. As long as I know I’m the only one who gets to play with them.”

“I promise,” I say with a laugh.

He grins. “But honestly, it’s totally up to you how you dress. And if you walk around naked, I’m happy to see you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You won’t become a caveman?”

“Nah. Not when it comes to naked skin. Won’t shoot myself in the foot. By the way…” He begins kissing his way down my stomach and opens my legs. “How do you like it best?”

“I like it when you lick my clit and finger me at the same time,” I say, unafraid to express my needs in front of him.

He smirks at me, reaches up to fondle my breast one more time, then runs the very tip of his tongue over my clit, so lightly it’s like a whisper.

I immediately start to tremble. I need more. Much more. But perhaps patience is a virtue.

I dig my fingers into his sheet while he tortures me exquisitely.

Slowly and thoroughly, he explores me with his tongue, leaving no spot unnoticed, paying attention to every inch. But it’s not enough. It will never be enough.

“Roan, you’re driving me crazy,” I plead, writhing under him.

“If you can still speak, it’s not enough.”

“You’re so mean!” I pout.

He continues, agonizingly slowly, and gently, while I tremble again and again, gripping the sheet so hard I’m worried it will start to tear in my fingers.

Just when I think I really can’t take any more, he opens his lips, puts them over my clit, and sucks.

My back arches off the bed with the force of my desire. “Fuck, yes! Finally!”

I can feel his grin, but he doesn’t stop. Good for him. Otherwise, I might have had to kill him. I put one hand on his hand, impatient for more. I lift my pelvis, then start to slowly rub myself against him.

“Fuck, yeah,” he growls before sticking two fingers inside me.

I don’t know if the others are still there; if Eoin is in the next room, but I don’t give a shit. I groan loudly, and it’s a sound so animalistic it could appear in a National Geographic animal documentary. It’s a good thing I won’t remember it when I’m thinking clearly again.

And then he hits the exact spot to make me unravel. When I come, I actually do manage to tear the sheet. I grab Roan firmly by the hair and make the walls shake with my scream.

Exhausted, I sink back onto the mattress. All my muscles are relaxed and loosened up. I sigh softly as Roan kisses his way back up my body and takes me in his arms.

“Wow,” I say after a pause to catch my breath.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. That was an A plus, with an asterisk.”

“Hmmm. I’ll put that on my business card. A plus with an asterisk.”

“You’re a weirdo,” I reply, giggling, again feeling that fluttering in my stomach. Maybe it was only butterflies the whole time—that swooping feeling you get when you fall in love—but I just never put it together.

“You really should know that by now.”

I enjoy our time together for a while, but then I have to ask another important question. “What about Kitty?”

He sighs heavily. “I don’t know.”

“What happened after I left?”

“I told her that I thought the stunt she pulled was super uncool and that she had abused my trust in the worst possible way.”

“She was jealous. Did you really not know that she was in love with you?”

He huffs another sigh. “I’m not sure. I just kept suppressing the thought because I didn’t want to admit it had gotten complicated. We got along well. I wanted to keep it that way.” When I grin, he adds, “The irony doesn’t escape me either.”

“We can both be glad that it wasn’t a lack of emotion on my part.”

He kisses my head. “I’m incredibly grateful for that.”

“But what will happen to her now?”

“What do you want to happen?”

“That’s not my decision.”

“Meaning?”

“She’s your friend. If you want her in your life, so be it.”

“And you wouldn’t care?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I trust you. I know you don’t have any romantic feelings for her. And that’s enough for me.”

“It wasn’t just uncool the way she treated you, but Finn as well. I never really saw that side of her until tonight.”

“Did the others really never liked her?” I ask.

“They definitely liked her more before.”

“Before what?”

He hesitates before he says, “Before you.”

“What do I have to do with it?”

“Leah mentioned to me that when she saw the two of us, she really realized the contrast with Kitty. Even if it was just friendship for you at the time, she could tell that you’d do anything for me.”

I smirk sideways at him. “Don’t be so sure about that.”

“Yes, I am. And maybe that’s when I realized that my friendship with Kitty had remained rather superficial. Maybe because I sensed that she was in love with me, I unconsciously kept her at a distance. I don’t know.”

“That would make sense. How did things end with her tonight?”

“She shouted a bit before she left and insulted everyone on her way out.” He pulls me closer to him. “I don’t know if I can forgive her for talking so dirty about my family.”

“You don’t have to rush into a decision.”

“I know.”

“There’s something else I need to know.”

“What?”

“Were the others angry with me? When I just left you hanging like that?” I ask, my heart pounding anxiously.

He laughs. “No. They made a bet on how long it would take you to pull your head out of your ass. Finn won, by the way.”

“You’re so impossible!” I kiss his chest. “Did you know I was coming back too?”

“I hoped so, but I can’t say I was certain.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. You didn’t keep me in suspense for long.”

“What can I do to make up for it?”

His grin becomes devilish. “I can think of a few things.”

“You’re such a guy!” I groan with a laugh.

Two hours later, he wakes me up again because he is simply insatiable. And then two hours later, it’s my turn to wake him up, eager for more.

It seems we’ve searched for and found each other.

I fall asleep with that thought, and a smile on my face.

Only to wake up the next morning with the smile still on my face because I’m lying in Roan’s arms.

“Awake?” he asks quietly.

“Mmmm, yes.” I stretch.

“Breakfast?”

“Oh, yes. I’m ravenous.”

He kisses me on the head. “Eoin’s back. You might want to wear something.”

“All right. Can I borrow your T-shirt?”

“Don’t talk such nonsense.”

“Meaning no?”

“Of course you can.”

After giving me another tight hug, he gets up, puts on his boxers, and leaves the room. I lie there for a moment, listening to the clattering in the kitchen before I also get up, put on my panties and his shirt, and follow the voices.

“Morning,” I say to Eoin, sitting down next to him on one of the kitchen chairs, which seems to be a scuffed bar stool, too banged up to be in the pub.

“Good morning,” he replies with a grin. “Although I don’t know how refreshed you’re feeling, with as little sleep as you’ve been getting.”

I punch him in the arm. “I’m happy to give up sleep for sex.”

I grin as Roan places a cup of coffee in front of me, but then my heart leaps into my throat. “Wait! Today is Thursday! Oh God, what time is it?” I jump up.

Roan glances at his phone. “Five minutes to ten.”

“Fuck! I have a seminar at ten!”

“You won’t make it,” says Roan. “Pancakes or eggs?”

“I have to make it.”

I hurry into the bedroom, get dressed quickly, and then go into the bathroom, intending to at least brush my teeth with my finger and run a comb through my hair. I’m sure I have a hair tie in the car.

My car.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I go back into the kitchen. “Does anyone know where my car is? I just parked it in front of the house last night.”

“I moved it into the parking lot for you,” says Eoin.

“Thank you.” I kiss Roan and hug his brother.

“You smell like sex,” says Eoin. “Are you going to get in trouble for showing up to a seminar smelling like that?”

I sniff my hair. He’s right. “Crap.”

Roan shrugs his shoulders. “The better choice is to call in sick.”

“I don’t like doing that.”

“We’ll be more careful next time.”

I hesitate, but then I sit back on the bar stool, watch Roan make pancakes, and let Eoin tease me for giving his brother puppy dog eyes.

I really do feel like one of the family. In the best way.