Page 12

12

A fter a delicious seafood dinner, Roan and I sit together on the terrace for a long time after my parents have gone to bed, getting to know one another and sipping beer while looking over the gently crashing waves.

“Do you only hang out with your relatives, or do you have other friends?” I ask.

“There’s my best buddy, Shane. He was at the fight that night, too. Maybe you saw him? He has long hair, usually in a bun.”

I think back to the fight, but it’s all a blur. I shrug at him helplessly.

“Whatever.” He grins. “And then sometimes I meet up with Seamus and Kitty.”

I raise an eyebrow. “A girl?”

“As you can see, I have female friends.” He holds out his bottle of beer for me to toast.

I take a sip of my beer. “Did you guys used to date?”

“No, never.”

I peer at him over my beer. “Do you regret that?”

He laughs. “No. It was never like that between us. I’ll introduce you to her sometime. Although I’m afraid you’ll get along so well that I’ll just be the fifth wheel.”

“If she’s cool, I’ll steal her from you.”

He nods with a smile. “Exactly. That’s how it’ll be.”

“Well, but I still like you anyway, so it won’t be that dramatic.”

“That’s really nice of you.”

“I know.”

He finishes off his beer. “What about you? Do you have many friends, besides Nina?”

“Not a ton of friends. There is Stephanie, of course. I sometimes meet up with my colleague, Lana, but that’s usually during my lunch break or after work.”

“Do you see Nina often, now that she’s pregnant and living with Jared?”

I shake my head, gazing into the dregs of my beer. “Not really. I’m on my own a lot, I guess, but I don’t feel like I’m lonely. I go to the movies, to the theater, to museums. And I still see Nina at least twice a week. Not for hours on end anymore, but we also text and call each other constantly.”

“What does her boyfriend say?”

I shrug. “He’s gotten used to me being there. I was there first, after all. Nina and I used to live together.”

“Maybe Nina is actually the love of your life,” he jokes.

“Oh, she definitely is, don’t you joke about that.” I smile at him. “But it was always just in a platonic way. Except for one time in college when we wanted to know what it was like to kiss a woman.”

Roan grins. “I find it interesting that this is actually a thing with women, but no man would ever think of it.”

“Because you’re all slightly homophobic?”

“That would be a sad explanation. Maybe it’s more because it’s more normal for girls to touch each other. You probably cuddle with Nina too.”

“I do. Don’t you? Don’t you sometimes hold Cian?” I grin at him.

He raises his eyebrows. “God forbid.” He laughs before continuing. “No, I don’t cuddle with my buddies. Maybe that’s why it’s even worse for men when they don’t have a partner, because then they basically never have positive physical contact.”

“Then why do so many men not want a relationship?”

“I didn’t necessarily mean a relationship; you can have physical contact in a friends-with-benefits situation or a one-night stand, too.”

“In my encounters with men I had the impression that I’m the more cuddly person.”

“Maybe that’s true, but I know from my buddies and brothers that women often misunderstand cuddling. That they think there are feelings behind it that aren’t there, and that’s why guys hold back.”

“You know, you’re not at all like you appear at first glance?”

“How do I appear then?”

“Well, you look like a real sin. Your appearance, your build, your tattoos, MMA. Everything points to bad boy. And that’s what I thought on the first evening. But it turns out you’re one of the most reflective people I’ve ever met. Deep, intelligent, just really incredible. Good incredible. It’s incredibly fun to chat with you.”

“Then thanks for the compliments. But a conversation is only as good as its partners, so I can only return the compliment.”

“I’m a bad boy too?”

“Absolutely.” He grins before looking at the sea in the moonlight. “Have you ever been naked in the sea?”

“No.”

“Want to?”

“Oh God, are you serious?”

He stands up. “Yes, come on.”

“But…”

“I won’t peek at anything.”

But that’s not my problem at all. Rather the fact that he’ll then be naked, and I can barely handle looking at him shirtless. This will be my downfall.

Still, I follow him. He’s already halfway in the water by the time I’ve pulled my dress over my head.

It’s a stupid idea. A very stupid one.

I undress, let my clothes fall and run after him.

“Finally come in,” he calls and starts swimming.

“On my way.”

And then I’m naked in the sea. As I swim, I notice that my breasts are floating upward. As if they were weightless. This is terrible. Now I’m presenting Roan my boobs on a water platter. He planned this well.

“Have you ever been naked in the water with a woman before?” I call to him.

“Yes, why?”

“Just asking.”

He swims to me, and I turn around, trying to catch my breasts, pressing them down.

“Why?”

I snort in frustration.

Amused, he asks, “Did you notice that boobs are weightless in water?”

“You knew that?” I turn to him and see just in time that he shrugs.

“I’ll tell you a secret.”

“And what’s that?”

“The same applies to my dick and balls.”

“Yes, but those are underwater!”

“I promise I won’t look.”

And since he didn’t look in the bathroom either, I believe him. So, I let them go, even though it feels so weird, like having two balloons in front of me.

“Shall we swim a bit?” he asks.

I nod and swim beside him, parallel to the beach so we don’t swim too far out.

“I wouldn’t have thought you were such a water baby.”

“Yeah, I always was. Mom always said that as a child I jumped into every puddle.”

“I find it a bit sad that we didn’t grow up together. I would have liked to see you as a child.”

“Mom will love hearing that and will show you three million photos of my naked bottom.” He laughs. “Would you like to come for dinner next weekend?”

“I should meet your family?”

“Well, you already know Cian and Eoin anyway. And I know your family now, too. So, it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Hm, true. But your parents…”

“Do you know the parents of your other friends?”

“Yeah, okay. You’re right.”

“So, next Sunday at two?”

“Okay. Thanks for the invitation.”

“Of course, we often have guests.”

“And women?”

“If you’re asking whether any of us three have ever brought a steady girlfriend, the answer is no. For Cian, that’s because he’s never had a steady girlfriend, for me because it never lasted long enough, and for Eoin because he’s sometimes secretive. At least when it comes to our parents. I can still tell when he’s sleeping with the same person for weeks.”

“Is he doing that right now?”

“No. He broke up because she couldn’t handle him joining the fire department. She wanted to forbid it, which was a bad move. Maybe you don’t know yet, but we can all be quite stubborn.”

“You don’t say?”

Smiling, he continues, “And we don’t give second chances. Once you mess up, it’s forever, though it’s not about small stuff.”

“Then about what?”

“If my girlfriend cheated on me, I would never take her back.”

“So, you would live monogamously?”

“Absolutely. When I’m in love, I can’t and don’t want to share her. I can’t deal with things like open relationships. She belongs to me, and I belong to her.”

“Hm.”

“And you?”

“I’d cut off my husband’s balls if he did it with another woman.”

I can hear the grin in his voice. “Then you understand what I mean.”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you jealous?”

“Well, not without reason.”

“So, a man would be allowed to have female friends?”

“Of course. It would only be problematic if he started seeing her as more than just a friend.”

“Going out alone with her?”

“No problem.”

“Texting with her?”

“I don’t care about that.”

“Sleeping in the same bed?”

“Well, that would be too much, I think. But I’ve never been in that situation. Maybe I wouldn’t care. Although…I don’t think so.”

“Going on vacation alone with her?”

“Separate rooms?”

“Same room, separate beds?”

“Hm. Don’t know.”

“Okay. Would apply to me too. And for the last one, it would also be a no. Separate rooms might still be okay.”

“Might be?” I ask amused.

“Well, I can be quite jealous.”

“How many women have you been with?”

“Do you mean sex or relationships?”

“Both.”

“Okay, well I had two girlfriends in high school, but only one was really serious. The other was just brief, because everyone was doing it. Well, silly. But I was really in love with the other one. First kiss, first sex, first heartbreak. She broke up when she went to college. That really hurt. After that, I sowed my wild oats a bit.”

“Meaning, a different one every night?”

“Something like that. No, it wasn’t that bad, but it’s always amazing how easy it is to get sex.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Guess it’s even easier as a woman.”

“I can’t complain.”

“When was the last time?”

“You know that.”

“Oh, you haven’t had anyone since me?”

“That was only two weeks ago.”

“So not a different one every night?”

“No, I couldn’t keep up that pace.”

“What was your usual rate like?”

“Phew, varied. For a while every weekend when we went out partying, but sometimes also nothing for a few months.”

He smiles. “So, then I met this woman when I was…hm, twenty-three. She blew me away. We had something like friends with benefits for almost a year. Or an affair. Or whatever you want to call it. And then it was suddenly over from both sides, just as suddenly as it had started. We just said goodbye and went our separate ways. It was surreal, but also kind of nice.”

“I’ve never experienced anything like that.”

“I’ve only experienced it that one time. I think about her sometimes, but not longingly, more like how you remember a particularly beautiful summer day or something. Although, that’s the wrong comparison. From now on, I’ll always associate you with particularly beautiful summer days.”

“You charmer.”

“No, really. I’m really enjoying this right now. Sure, it’ll be over tomorrow, but you have no idea how long it’s been since I just took a vacation, and with great company too. It’s a dream.”

“I’m growing fond of you too, Walsh.”

“Me too, Scott, me too.”

We decide to turn back and swim back to our things.

“Did anyone come after Miss Summer Day?”

“Yes, I had another girlfriend for almost four years.”

“What happened?”

“We were just at completely different points in life. She wanted to start having kids and I was trying to get into the pro classes.”

“You want to become a pro?”

“Wanted to. It didn’t work out.”

“Could it still happen?”

“Phew, sure, but I’m not getting any younger.”

“Is thirty-one already old?”

“Not old, but how long do you want to keep doing it to yourself? I don’t see myself still standing in the cage at forty.”

“It’s none of my business, of course, because it’s your decision, but I’d be more at ease if there was an end in sight.”

“Didn’t you like it?”

“I was equally fascinated and disgusted, I have to admit. Only when you were in the cage I was extremely turned on.”

“I could have easily missed that.”

“Haha, very funny.”

He laughs. “I was so hot for you.”

“That makes two of us.”

“Anyway, I’m thinking about quitting.”

I don’t tell him, because it’s really his decision, but that makes me happy. Really, really happy.

We slowly walk out of the water. I like that he really doesn’t look. I find that very respectful and it greatly increases trust. I’d like to say that I’m not peeking either, but that would be a lie.

Roan is just damn perfect.

“What do we want to do tomorrow?” he asks as he’s getting into his shorts.

“We could go to the flea market.”

“Oh, cool. I haven’t been in a long time.”

“I have no idea if it’s any good, but I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Then let’s do that.”

“Is it okay if I ask Mom if she wants to come?”

“Of course! You’re here to see your parents.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me for nonsense.”

“I’ll do what I want.”

I throw on my dress while wet. I’m Miss Wet T-shirt.

“Pretty cheeky.”

I stick my tongue out at him, which makes him laugh.

I could really get used to this , shoots through my head.