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R oan stands up and hugs the breathtakingly gorgeous stranger. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.”

She gives an angelic, musical laugh. “Since you stood me up over the weekend, I thought I’d get my Roan-fix in today.”

My mouth suddenly feels dry. I don’t normally compare myself to others, because I like to think I have self-confidence, but it’s at this moment that I truly feel average-looking. Roan is super hot, he could get basically any girl he wanted. What could he possibly want with me, when he could be with this long-legged beauty?

He had plenty of opportunities to hit on me all weekend , I think with dismay. We even went skinny-dipping . But he never even tried to make a move .

And in my boundless naivety and hubris, I thought it was because he wanted to be respectful. Now I realize it’s because he’s just not that interested in me.

Which should make me feel relieved. After all, we are friends.

Does relief always feel like my heart is sinking through my shoes ?

“Sorry, I couldn’t turn down a spontaneous trip to Florida. I needed to get away from all this fog!” he jokes, giving the stunning woman a one-armed hug.

This just cements my belief. It was the sunshine he wanted, not me.

It’s for the best , I remind myself.

I let my gaze wander and see Eoin looking at me questioningly. I smile, and he shakes his head.

“Roan, maybe you should introduce your girlfriend to your girlfriend?” jokes Eoin.

Both of them finally turn to look at me, and Roan steps forward. “Oh, sorry. I have no manners. Kitty, this is Jenna. Jenna, this is Kitty.”

Kitty shakes my hand. “Hey, nice to meet you.”

I can’t help but wonder if she’s being sincere. She doesn’t sound too genuine, and her hundred-watt smile has faded a notch.

“Nice to meet you too,” I reply.

Now that the lines are clear between Roan and me, I want to get to know all his other friends. Clearly this Kitty person is important to him, so I hope that she likes me.

“I didn’t know you had a date tonight,” she says teasingly to Roan. “I can go.”

“No, no,” I cut in. “I actually have to go pretty soon.”

Roan raises his eyebrows in a silent question.

“I haven’t seen Nina all weekend,” I lie. “I told her we could meet up.”

He nods understandingly. “All right. When do you have to leave?”

I look at my watch, feigning surprise at the time. “In just a few minutes. Sorry.”

“All good.”

Kitty smiles at me, the bright white smile back on her face, somehow triumphant. I don’t understand it. Not a bit. But it gives me a bad feeling. For the first time, I don’t feel comfortable here. Eoin catches my gaze, questioning, understanding, and far too attentive.

Roan on the other hand, doesn’t seem to notice anything is amiss, which only ramps up the squeamish feeling in my belly.

Kitty sits down at the table with us. “The sun has done you good, Roan.” She grins and squeezes Roan’s arm.

My gaze is drawn to this seemingly casual gesture.

“It was also really good to get out and about. Jenna and I had a lot of fun. Didn’t we?” He looks at me with a smile.

I nod, hiding my hands in my lap to hide the fact that they’re shaking with anxiety. “Yes, the weather was great, and the beach is always good.”

“Oh, you were together?” she asks. Is it just my imagination, or is there a little sharpness in this question?

“Jenna’s parents live in Florida,” explains Roan. “She was going for the weekend, and I decided to tag along last minute.”

“Oh, that’s nice. It’s a paradise for well-heeled pensioners.”

She laughs again, but I have the feeling that she wants to draw a line between us, emphasizing the similarities between her and him.

“Going to the beach does sound like a dream,” Eoin comments. “Maybe you’ll take me with you next time, Jenna.” He grins at me.

“There’s plenty of room,” I reply with a smile. “I’m sure my parents would be happy to have all of us.”

“Yeah, sure, that would be cool,” says Kitty, only looking at Roan. “We should all go to the beach. Maybe next weekend?”

I blink at her. Who invited her?

“I can’t leave Cian alone again, plus, my mom has a family dinner scheduled,” Roan says smoothly.

Kitty pouts but quickly recovers. “Your mother cooks so well, Roan. That’s definitely where you got your talent from.”

Roan grins. “Nah, Mom’s way more talented than me. She promised there’d be a roast to celebrate.”

She looks at him in surprise. “What’s the celebration?”

He nods in my direction. “Jenna is getting to know the family.”

Shock blooms in Kitty’s eyes, but she quickly regains her composure. “Oh, I see. So, she doesn’t know everyone yet?”

Somehow, I find it strange that people are talking about me as if I’m not there, even though I’m sitting at the table.

“She hasn’t met Mom and Dad yet,” Roan answers.

Her flawlessly threaded eyebrows go up an inch. “Big step then. How long have you guys known each other, Jenna?”

“About two weeks,” I say, not offering any more conversation.

Eoin gives me another searching look, but I just shrug. What else can I say to this woman?

Roan can say whatever he wants. He can claim they’re just friends, but Kitty is clearly in love with him.

And she clearly sees me as competition, which is ridiculous. I’m nowhere near her league.

I stand up, suddenly eager to leave. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Kitty.” I look at Eoin and then Roan. “See you soon.”

“I’ll call you, a thaisce .” Roan gets up, too, and kisses me on the cheek.

Kitty shoots me a venomous look that lets me know I’m her new worst enemy. I wish I could tell her that she has nothing to fear from me, but then I’d be betraying her in front of Roan, who clearly has no idea about her feelings for him.

I almost feel bad for her. It can’t be easy being friends with someone you’re secretly in love with.

Or not so secretly. Because it’s clear to me, and by the somewhat nauseated look on Eoin’s face, it’s clear to him, too.

I wave to everyone before disappearing as quickly as I can, welcoming the muggy street outside the pub.

Wow, what a nasty situation for everyone involved. Except for Roan, who clearly has no idea of how Kitty is feeling. Maybe someone should tell him.

But it doesn’t have to be me.

Since I have nothing else to do, I decide to go to the movies. There’s a small art house movie theater that I sometimes visit, near Cian’s pub. But as I start to walk over, I realize that even though I don’t usually mind doing things solo, tonight I feel the same way I did last night. Alone. Lonely.

As I’m standing in line to buy a ticket, my phone rings. I don’t know the number, but I answer it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Jenna?” an unfamiliar female voice asks.

I frown. “Yes?”

“Hey, you don’t know me. I’m Tara, Roan’s cousin. I got your number from Eoin, who told me to get in touch with you.”

“Okay. Um, why?” I ask, perplexed.

“He thinks we might get along,” she laughs.

I glance back down the street, at the closed doors of the pub. “Oh, does he?”

“Exactly. You’ve already met my sister, Orla. This might be a bit unorthodox, but would you like to go for a drink?”

“At the pub?” I ask hesitantly.

“No, somewhere else. How about Juicy’s? Another of my cousins works there.”

“Finn, right?”

“Yes, exactly. What do you think?”

Sounds a lot better than seeing a movie all by myself. “Sure. When?”

“I can be there in half an hour if that works.”

“Sure. See you soon.”

“I’ll send you a photo, so you know what I look like. Eoin has already shown me one of you.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

A little bizarre, but still pretty cool. This could be a more interesting evening than I thought. I turn and begin walking in the other direction, toward Juicy’s.

Half an hour later, I’m standing outside the bar, looking for Tara. When she comes around the corner, I recognize her immediately, as she has the same good looks as the rest of her family.

Unlike her sister, she is smaller and more petite. But she has the same rich blonde shade of hair as Orla.

“Hey, Jenna!” she calls out before hugging me.

“Hello, nice to meet you.”

She grins. “I’ve been super eager to meet you, honestly. I was curious when Orla told me about you.”

I feel a blush creep up my cheeks. “Oh really? She told you about me?”

Tara gives an easy shrug. “Sure. Roan likes you; that’s reason enough.”

“We’re just friends,” I repeat my mantra like a prayer.

She laughs. “That doesn’t matter at all. You should like your friends, right? Besides, the family is just curious. Come with me.”

Instead of joining the line, which is impressively long even on a Monday evening, she goes to a side entrance, which is locked. She takes her phone out of her pocket and dials a number. It doesn’t take long for the door to be opened by the handsome man I saw the other evening, the first night I met Roan.

“Hey, Tara.” They hug each other.

“Finn, you remember Jenna?” she asks.

With a charming smile, he offers me his hand. “How could I forget?” His grin becomes mischievous. “You stood up to Roan. I liked that.”

“My easiest accomplishment,” I joke.

They both laugh.

“Come on in.” Finn waves us in with one hand. “I saved you a table.”

We follow him through a dark corridor until we arrive at the bar. Finn weaves his way through crowds of people before pointing to a small table with a RESERVED sign on it. “I’ll send a waitress over. If there’s anything, let me know.”

“Thank you, Finn,” Tara says. We head to the table and sit down, and I feel suddenly self-conscious, almost like I’m on a date. Or a job interview.

But Tara has an open, friendly way about her that makes her easy to like. “How do you like Juicy’s?” she asks as we look at the drink menu. “Have you been here before? I mean before you put Roan in his place?” She grins.

“How does everyone know about that?” I ask, amused.

“There are very few secrets in this family, you should remember that.”

“So Roan is a gossip?”

“No, not really. He hasn’t said anything, but because of the thing with Cillian, who by the way is one, we all know about you, of course.”

“Hm.”

“Roan is really discreet.”

“Oh, that’s not what I mean. Of course you tell your confidants about things happening in your life. That’s completely normal. I tell my best friend everything too. But it’s obviously not such a glorious debut. I mean, we’re still figuring out this whole friendship thing, whether we even want to be friends, but this naturally complicates things.”

“Only if you let it. We don’t care about that anyway, especially not the guys, because they’ve done a thousand times worse things and otherwise we’re just not judgmental. Though I also don’t think anything bad happened, except of course that Cillian is an asshole. But you shouldn’t be embarrassed about anything. About having a one-night stand, nor about the clothes you wear when going out.”

“Thanks. I see it the same way, but sometimes I don’t know if my moral compass really points north.”

“Hopefully not. That would be boring.”

When the waitress arrives, we order a drink. After she leaves, Tara says, “You’re probably wondering why I called you today of all days.”

I lean back, wondering if she is about to attack. “A little.”

“It’s because of Kitty, of course.”

I stiffen. “What about her?”

“Eoin told me that you just met her.”

News really does travel fast in this family .

“Hmmm,” I say again, waiting for Tara to continue.

“She’s a bit weird sometimes, and there’s a reason for that.”

“She’s in love with Roan, and he’s the only person who has no idea,” I say with a shrug, since it’s obvious.

She looks at me in surprise. “That’s right. So, you saw it tonight when you met her?”

I sigh. “You can’t miss it. But what I wonder is why she sees me as competition. Or does she not tolerate platonic friends in Roan’s life either?”

“Maybe she thinks Roan likes you more? I don’t know. I think her jealousy makes it hard for her to see other women around him. But he doesn’t see it at all. They’ve been friends for a long time.”

“Has he ever seen her any other way?” I ask.

“No. It was platonic from the start. For Roan, anyway.”

“And for her?”

The waitress brings our drinks, and Tara takes a long sip of her Long Island. “She fell in love with him at first sight.”

I twirl my drink straw around in my gin and tonic. “That must have been really hard for her.”

Tara nods. “Yes, it is. Roan’s not as much of a tramp as Cian, or even Finn, but he makes no secret of the fact that he’s had a few girls. And it must tear Kitty apart every time.”

I sigh, my heart feeling heavy. I know how it feels to be in love with the wrong person. “That really sucks. Has anyone ever told him how she feels about him?”

“Sure. But he shrugs it off. He even asked her about it once, or so he says.”

“And did anything come out of that?”

She shakes her head. “Not really. I’m not sure if he really asked the right question. You know how thick-headed guys can be when dealing with romantic feelings. He probably said something like: ‘Listen, Kitty, Tara thinks you’re in love with me. Isn’t that funny?’”

I shake my head. “I bet she didn’t think that was funny at all.”

Tara sips at her drink again. “She’s actually pretty nice.”

“I believe that. So, Eoin sent you to smooth things over with me?”

“Something like that. He probably didn’t want this thing with Kitty to come between you and Roan. And I guess you left the pub pretty quickly.”

I wince. “Was I that obvious?”

“Eoin noticed, but he’s really observant. Roan probably didn’t realize anything was going on beneath the surface. When he trusts people, he trusts them. That’s just the way it is. So, he wouldn’t stop to think that you were just saying you needed to leave, because you were uncomfortable in the situation.”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t worried about me being uncomfortable.”

Tara cocks her head to one side. “Oh?”

“I didn’t want Kitty to be uncomfortable. I felt sorry for her. I saw that it hurt her, seeing Roan with me, and I didn’t want to add to her pain.”

Tara pauses thoughtfully for a moment. “That’s really very nice of you.”

I shrug, sipping my drink. “I wasn’t trying to be nice. I just don’t want to see other people in misery.”

“Wouldn’t it be great if we could just get people to act the way we want them to?” Tara jokes, lightening the mood.

I chuckle, the ice tinkling in my glass as I finish the last few drops. “It sure would. What’s the first thing you would do?”

“Hmmm. I’d make Cam cluck like a chicken,” she answers, laughing.

I wrack my brain to remember the name. “Cam is your brother, right?”

“Yes, exactly. That would be funny.” Grinning, she takes the last sip of her cocktail and gestures to the waitress for another round. “So, what do you do at the university besides lecturing?”

I heave a sigh, as I always do when the subject comes up. “Well, the original plan was for me to write my doctoral thesis, but I’m not really getting anywhere. I like teaching, and I enjoy writing a research article here and there, which is why I like my job, but I’ve never really enjoyed studying just for the sake of studying. And that’s basically what a doctoral thesis is—proving that you’ve studied enough.”

Tara nods. The waitress brings our next round, and she takes a sip of her fresh cocktail. “I didn’t study at university in the classical sense, so I don’t know much about writing dissertations and all that.”

“What did you study?”

“I studied music at Juilliard.”

My jaw drops. “You did what?”

She grins. “Really. I’m a violinist, and I play in an orchestra.”

“Wow. That’s really cool. I am impressed. Even as someone who knows absolutely nothing about music, I know what Juilliard is. After all, I’ve seen Save The Last Dance .”

Tara fidgets with her straw. “Most people associate the school with dance, probably because that’s how it’s been portrayed in pop culture, but it’s also a music school.”

“You must be very good.”

She shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly. “I’m okay.”

I grin. “Only real prodigies say that.”

“Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I’m good.”

“So, do you only play here in San Francisco?”

“No, we also travel a lot. And sometimes our opera house hosts other orchestras.”

“Does that mean you’re always on the move?”

“Maybe not all the time, but often enough. It’s nice to play in front of new audiences.”

“Do you ever get to travel internationally?”

“That also happens, but not as often as within the country.”

“So, where have you been?”

“Oh, Europe, Australia, China…”

“Did you play in the Sydney Opera House?”

She laughs. “It’s not as spectacular as it seems.”

“Really?”

“Oh, it’s a great building in a great city, but it’s more important as a tourist attraction than as a concert hall.”

“I’m already a little jealous of everything you’ve seen and done.”

“Haven’t you traveled much yet?”

“Only in Latin America so far. That’s my area of supposed expertise. US policy in Central America.”

“Wow, I have no idea about that.” She laughs. “You must be crazy smart.”

“Hey,” Finn says, sitting down in the empty chair next to Tara.

“Break time?” she asks.

He groans in relief. “Yes, thank goodness. It’s super busy for a Monday.”

“It must be incredibly exhausting to have all those pretty women flirting with you all the time, slipping you their numbers and offering to suck you off in the bathroom,” Tara teases him.

“You’re so right. I wish they would be less pushy.”

“Does that mean there are men who don’t want to be hit on?” I ask curiously.

He leans back. Honestly, this family has such ridiculously good genes, as a mere mortal you can only be jealous. “I wouldn’t say I don’t want to be hit on.” Tara laughs. “But women can be quite persistent.”

“Oh yes,” says Tara, “When you see what goes on at male strip shows…If a man behaved like that in a strip club, he’d be thrown out, but with women it’s completely normal.”

“They’re not very subtle when they want something, that’s true. I’m not saying men aren’t often too pushy, but women are just as bad. Though you probably have to differentiate that there are many more men who misbehave, and proportionally fewer women.”

“And that it’s potentially more dangerous when a man misbehaves,” I add.

“That too, of course,” he agrees. “In contrast, it’s just annoying when they press their tits against you or grab your butt.”

“Which is still harassment,” says Tara.

“Sure, but I still don’t have to worry about getting home safely.”

“Just let one of those hussies try,” says Tara, pretending to watch everyone closely.

He grins, shrugging off the prickly subject. “Now Tara on the other hand, she’s the one you have to watch out for. She’s small, but feisty. Like a Chihuahua.”

“Hey! Those tiny things freak me out.” She laughs, smacking him lightly on the shoulder.

“Well, it’s not my fault you’re tiny and freaky.”

She pummels him again with a small fist, and he pretends to be injured.

It’s funny to watch the two of them ribbing each other. Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like if I’d had siblings or if I’d grown up with my cousins. It would be nice to have so much family, so close.

I tune back into Tara and Finn’s conversation.

“Never! I think we all know who the bad guys are in this family,” Finn is saying.

“Cian and Orla,” Tara instantly responds.

“That’s right.” Finn holds out his fist to her with a laugh and she pushes hers against it.

“Why them?” I ask. “I’ve met them both. I thought they were nice.”

Tara opens her eyes wide in mock-horror. “Nice? Excuse me, those two think they’re the bosses because they’re the oldest. They’ve always kept the rest of us down.”

Finn nods in agreement. “That’s right.”

“Ah, I see. But how much older are they than you?” I ask, still trying to get the family order straight.

“Only a year older than me, but they always said I was too small to play with them in their big kid games,” Tara says, pulling a face.

“That’s really mean.”

“It is. Really nasty.” She grins. “But we always paid them back. Plus, Leah and Brady are only a year younger than us, so we got to torment them in turn.”

“What did you do to them?” I ask with interest, picturing what it must have been like, with so many kids growing up together, like a bunch of puppies in a pile.

Tara leans forward a little. “The question is, what didn’t we do?” She winks at me. “One highlight was when we mixed green dye into Cian’s shampoo. That was a scream.”

“Unfortunately, our triumph didn’t last long,” says Finn.

“That’s true,” Tara agrees with a wincing laugh.

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because he just shaved his head, and then you didn’t see it.”

“It was much more effective when we put dye in the soap dispenser and Orla walked around with colorful fingers for a while,” says Tara.

“But then that joke backfired, because Eoin and Roan also had colored fingers,” Finn recalls.

Tara shrugs impassively. “That never bothered me.”

Finn grins. “Or remember the time we put balloons behind the car tires when Cian had just gotten his driver’s license? I don’t think anyone has ever been so scared.”

Tara laughs. “Oh God, yes! He was white as a ghost when he got out of the car.”

“And remember when we watched Orla on her first date, and when she was about to have her very first kiss, we threw slime on her!”

I cover my mouth with one hand but can’t stop laughing. “You guys were horrible!”

Tara shrugs her shoulders. “We still are. There’s nothing better than a good prank.”

“We also did classic things, like wrapping the car in toilet paper,” says Finn.

“Or firecrackers attached under the toilet seat.”

“Though that one really hit the wrong person with Grandma,” Finn admits.

“Your poor Gran! She probably had a heart attack!” I exclaim.

“No, she’s tough. She got her revenge by baking us a chili cake.” Finn laughs. “Maybe playing pranks runs in the family.”

“A chili cake? So she put chili powder in a chocolate cake? Wow, that’s really mean.”

Finn nods. “It really was. After that, we always eyed her baked goods suspiciously and someone had to taste-test it first.”

“Usually Eoin, because he was the youngest,” Tara adds.

“What else did you do?” I ask, amused.

“Oh, let me think. Flour in the hairdryer, hair gel on the toilet seat, various fake crawling insects,” Tara lists.

“Don’t forget the transparent film in front of the door.”

“Oh yeah, that was funny too. Less funny was the transparent tape, because Orla’s hair got so caught up in it that Mom had to cut a big chunk off. She didn’t forgive us for a long time.”

“But she also got revenge for that by telling on us and grounding us all,” protests Finn, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “She broke the number one rule.”

“And then we got revenge again by cutting holes in her favorite dress,” Tara recalls.

Wow. Maybe I am lucky I didn’t grow up with cousins and siblings. But at the same time, I can’t help but think it sounded like fun. Messy, wild, chaotic, fun.

“So, the O’Brien’s are allowed to torment one another, but if anyone else tries to pick a fight, you all band together,” I say, beginning to understand their dynamic.

“I guess so. Everyone plays pranks on each other, but no one takes it seriously. Except Leah sometimes cried, the weenie,” explains Finn.

“Hey, I’m a girl too,” Tara protests indignantly.

“Well, I think that’s just a rumor,” says Finn.

Tara punches his arm. “I see you need another beating,” she declares.

“Yeah, come on, give it to me!” Finn laughs.

“Just you wait. I’ll think of something good.”

Finn leans in conspiratorially, glancing at Tara. “She was always the ringleader, thinking up the worst pranks.”

“Just ‘cause I was smarter than you,” Tara huffs.

I smile, listening to them continue to bicker and wishing I had grown up like that. Or that I had it now.

A family around me. A sheltering safety net, there to protect me. To love me. No matter what.