Page 36

CHAPTER 35

CLAY

SPARK

I look down at Lizzy, into the blue eyes that melt my cold dark heart. I look at the smile that makes me want to do whatever it takes to keep it on her beautiful face. I look at the woman I’d give up every bit of control I have to make happy. I look at the woman I love.

“Is now the right time?” I ask, tucking one of those little strands of blonde hair I’m obsessed with out of the way.

Last night, she said we’d know when the right time was. And when I woke up this morning, suddenly I didn’t have the urge to go out and run. I didn’t care about my routine. I just wanted to enjoy the way Lizzy makes me feel, like nothing else matters. I just wanted to enjoy the things I love for once, consequences be damned.

I look back down at her, watching her smile grow wide and bright before she jumps up, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

“I’ll take that as a yes, princess?” I chuckle.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she says, pulling on my neck, bringing her mouth to mine. Her soft lips meet mine and the kiss feels like an eternity. In this moment, it’s just me and her. I couldn’t care less about anything around us. The only thing that matters is how she makes me feel, how we make each other feel.

Eventually, we pull apart just enough for me to look into her eyes, still sparkling and brimming with joy. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling her warm breath on my cheek.

Curiosity crosses her face. “For what?”

I hold her against me, her legs still wrapped around my waist like she’s a little koala. “Making me realize that I’d rather enjoy the things I love, even if for a day, than spend my life being afraid to lose them. ”

She hums and presses her forehead into my neck. “Good. You’re welcome."

And at that point, I realize we are in fact not the only people in the world.

“So, we might have an audience, Princess.” I set Lizzy down carefully and she turns to look at Tanner and V, staring at us.

Lizzy cocks her head to one side, groaning and looking right back at V.

“What? You can’t be the only one allowed to have a Chapman boy-toy. Don’t act surprised.”

My brother snorts a laugh, prompting V to shove him. “Really?” she asks, glaring at him.

He shrugs. “Good for them. I can’t wait to watch this.”

Lizzy smirks and nods at Tanner then looks back to V. “Don’t be jealous I got the newer model.”

V finally laughs and shakes her head before palming her face.

I toss Lizzy a wink for the unexpected compliment from my girl and she air kisses back at me.

I watch V look around until she spots Grace, who’s looking off in the distance at the surrounding mountains.

“Did you know about this?”

Grace turns, a knowing grin on her face. “About what?”

V gestures towards us with an outstretched hand.

Grace looks at us and scoffs. “Oh! Those two? Yeah, I’ve known for weeks. That’s old news.”

V continues to shake her head. “I’ve got like a thousand questions.” I step towards her, putting myself between her and Lizzy.

“As long as you’re not upset, cool.”

She throws her head back and laughs. “Upset, no. Shocked, yes.”

I step back towards Lizzy, draping an arm around her.

“Well, good. In that case, so can we go inside for lunch now? I’m sure princess here is about to get hangry. ”

I look down at Lizzy, her smile hardening into a playful glare. “Are you going to try and feed me chicken tenders again?”

I chuckle. “Nope. Already learned that lesson.”

“Good.” She stands on her toes to kiss my cheek before turning to look at everyone else. “Ok. Ask all the questions you want, but after we go inside and after I get my food.”

After lunch, we stand outside the lodge by the gear racks. Surprisingly, everyone was actually very cool with us. Tanner was happy for me and V kept saying she should have seen this coming and that this is such a Lizzy thing to do.

But now, I want some alone time with her.

I turn to face my siblings and V. “Hey, guys. Can I borrow her for the afternoon? I promise you can ask the rest of your questions later at happy hour. But I want to go show her some of the mountain.”

I look back at Lizzy, her beautiful smile that hasn’t stopped since she saw me walking towards her, still plastered to her face before she gives me a curious look. “Do you have another surprise up your sleeve?”

I shrug. “Maybe. You’ll just have to wait.”

“You know I hate waiting,” she huffs.

“I know.”

I turn to look back at V, who’s smiling and watching in amusement. “I’m starting to see how this happened,” she says with a laugh. “And of course. We’ll see you guys back at the house.”

I tip my chin to her. “Thanks, V.” Tanner nods and Grace smirks before I turn to Lizzy, grabbing her hand .

A few minutes later, we’re riding up the lift together, just the two of us. Looking at her next to me, this is all so surreal. Here I am, back on skis, sitting on a chairlift next to the woman I’m in love with, two things I never thought would happen in my life. All thanks to a random stop for a beer three months ago.

I scoot closer to her, grabbing her hand. “I’m sorry.”

She whips her head to mine, concern on her face. “For what?”

I sigh, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. “I hope that wasn’t too fast to tell everyone. But you said we’d know when the right time was and this morning, it just felt right.”

She smiles and looks back up at me. “It was the right time. I thought about it this morning when you were already gone.” She takes a second, looking me up and down. “And I was right.”

I quirk a brow at her. “About what?”

“You do look hot in ski gear.” She flicks her eyebrows at me and grins. “Speaking of, where did you get all of that?”

I smirk back at her. “Well, instead of going for a run this morning, I went down to the river to find TJ, and ask if I could borrow some of his ski gear. It’s a little snug, but good enough for today.”

She nods and I continue. “Then I borrowed his SUV and went into town to rent the other gear I needed.”

She shakes her head. “Now that I think about it, he was pretty smug at breakfast when he said he was sure we’d see you around today.” She pauses. “But wait, you’ve been out here all morning just skiing by yourself? And how’d you find us?”

I nod. “I got out here for first chair at the other base lodge. I needed a few runs by myself to just think about things, enjoy the mountain again. Reconnect with skiing.” I look at her as she gives me an understanding look. “Then after a while, I texted Tanner and asked when and where you guys were getting lunch, just said I wanted to stop by and see you guys. I didn’t tell him I was skiing. ”

She hums to herself, bringing a glove to her chin. “So what are you going to show me now that you have me to yourself?”

“Just a run I haven’t skied in a really long time.”

I feel her hand squeeze mine tight. “You’ve skied here before?”

I look back at her and nod. “Yeah. My last season of racing while Mom was still with us.” I pause, thinking about that trip. “We had an off day between heats and it happened to be an epic Mt. Bachelor powder day. Terrible for racing, but amazing for just hitting the slopes. Dad was always the big racer and taught me. But Mom, she taught us all to just love the mountain, ski the terrain, and enjoy it.”

Lizzy’s eyes meet mine and it’s that look I’ve come to welcome. The one that isn’t judging or pitying me. She’s just listening. “I can’t wait to see it then.”

She leans her head, with her big clunky helmet on, against my shoulder for the rest of the lift ride. I hold her gloved hands in my lap, enjoying the ride in comfortable silence. At least for a moment anyway.

“Some more big news happened this morning before you got here.”

I tilt my head to her. “Oh yeah?”

She nods, but doesn’t lift her head from my shoulder. “TJ offered to let V and Tanner have their wedding at his house in Jackson in December.” She lets out an adorable giggle. “They already wanted a small ceremony in the winter, but it sounds perfect for them. They can use his guesthouse to set up and everything. But I know V is losing it, getting to know her idol and getting married at one of his houses.”

I chuckle. “That sounds perfect for them. And if I know Tanner, a winter wedding in Jackson is exactly what he wants.”

When we reach the top, I guide Lizzy along the cat track towards the top of the run, a long black diamond with some of the best tree skiing and wide open, ungroomed powder stashes on the Northwest side of mountain .

I stop and wait for her to reach me. “So, I probably should have asked this before. You’re a good skier, right?”

Even with her goggles on, I can feel her eye roll. “Don’t let the pink fool you. I can keep up with Tanner and V.” She brings a finger to her lips in thought. “Most of the time anyways. They’re kind of extreme.”

I huff a laugh. “Alright, princess. Just stay close to me, especially in the trees.”

She skis right up next to me, tapping my ass with one of her poles. “Look at you. Always the perfect gentleman.”

I grin back at her, baring my teeth. “I’ll see if I can make you reconsider that later.” I pucker my lips together, sending her an air kiss before taking off down the run.

The upper part is a long, open area, lined with thick trees on either side, still holding untracked powder even this late in the day. We cruise through the upper part before getting to an area of trees that’s more open and suited for tree skiing. It’s this area that I was looking for.

I check back behind me to make sure Lizzy is close by before going into the trees. To my pleasant surprise, she’s holding her own, right on my tail, which somehow makes me feel pride. The woman I thought was a prissy little, firecracker can definitely ski.

I get to a small clearing in the trees. I stop and let her catch up to me. I prop my goggles up on my helmet and watch her ski up next to me. “You doing alright?”

She nods and takes a few deep breaths. “Yeah. But seriously, maybe less yoga and more quads. This powder is tough.”

I shake my head at her. “I think we can do that.” I point ahead of us through the trees towards a ridge top. “We’re heading over there. Just a view I wanted to check out.”

She gestures ahead with her ski pole. “After you.” This time she air kisses to me before I pull my goggles back down and ski ahead .

After a few turns through the powdery snow in the trees, I reach it, the spot I’ve been wanting to see. It’s a ridge littered with black, volcanic rocky outcroppings, the kind all over Mount Bachelor. But the view of the lake in the distance is breathtaking.

Lizzy skis up to me a few seconds later, stopping to enjoy the view with me. “I can see why you wanted to come here.”

I nod, not saying a word. I feel a smile creep across my face. Being here, in this spot, with her, just feels right. She looks back at me, pausing and studying me.

“What is it?” I ask.

She furrows her brow, lifting a gloved hand to her chin. “I feel like I’ve been here before, seen you here before.” She looks around us, at the trees, the rocks, and the view and then looks back to me. I see the moment something clicks in her head and her eyes go wide with excitement.

“That picture in your office. The one of you and your mom. That was here, wasn’t it?”

I nod, smiling back at her, with no need for words. She leans into my body, resting her head against my shoulder and wrapping her arms around me.

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

I rub my gloved hand up and down her back. “Thank you for making me want to.” I tilt her chin up and pull her goggles off, forcing her to look at me. “You remind me everyday that I can’t control someone’s heart and that terrifies the shit out of me, Lizzy. You make me want to lose control though. You make me want to accept I can’t control everything. To just take on whatever life gives me. It threw you right into my path and I’ve loved every second of it.”

Back at the house after dinner, finally not hiding from everyone else, Lizzy and I pack up our room so we can get an early start on the eleven hour drive tomorrow.

“I don’t know why we have to leave so early in the morning,” Lizzy whines from her perch on the bed, already in her pajamas.

I glare back at her from the dresser. “Well, I have to budget an extra hour so we can stop for real food,” I say, making an air quotes gesture.

She groans. “Fine. I guess that’s ok.”

“Good. Not like you really have an option anyways, passenger princess.” I wink at her, prompting her to roll her eyes and flop back into the pillows.

I open the middle drawer, noticing all of her stuff in a chaotic mess of pink and pastels.

I sigh and start grabbing each piece of clothing, folding it and packing it into her bag.

“You don’t have to pack my stuff.” I hear her over my shoulder.

I shrug. “It’s fine. I don’t mind. Just relax. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

I look back at her, propped up on her elbow watching me from the bed in amusement. “You really like being neat and tidy, don't you?”

Turning to face her, I cross my legs and lean against the dresser, folding a tiny t-shirt that feels like it should belong to a child in my hands. "Some habits are hard to break.”

She hums thoughtfully to herself. “When did that habit start? All the cleaning and hyper organization? ”

I shift uncomfortably against the dresser, tightly folding the shirt and grabbing some leggings to fold. “Right after I tore my knee the first time.”

She sits up in the bed, looking at me more intently. “Why would that make you do that ?” she asks, pointing to the perfect little squares of folded clothes in her bag in front of me on the floor.

Taking a deep breath, I go back to that time, those months.

“Because I was being young and stupid. I wasn’t disciplined in my training back then. I wasn’t studying the conditions for each competition like I should have been. I was always distracted, not focused. I was just being careless.”

“Sounds like you were just being a teenager. Mistakes happen, Clay. I mean, you flooded my condo after all. I don’t hold it against you. Look where that got us,” she says with a wink.

I roll my eyes. “That was actually because I was too busy staring at your ass from the balcony and I forgot to swap out the propane tanks.”

Her eyes go wide and she laughs, briefly washing away my tension.

“We are definitely going to revisit that later.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “But seriously, mistakes happen. You were a kid. Don’t keep beating yourself up.”

I frown, feeling irritated and anxious like I do every time I think about this. “Yeah, well. My teenage mistakes had horrible consequences. Mr. Jensen helped me a lot after that first injury. Taught me how to stay focused, cut out distractions.”

A cute, amused laugh escapes her. “It sounds like he taught you to be a robot when you were just a kid.”

I scrub my hand over my face. “A kid whose mistakes got my mom killed.”

Any amusement in her expression is gone, instantly replace by disbelief. The shocked look in her eyes is one I know I never want to see again. “What are you talking about? She died in a car accident. You weren’t even in the car.”

A shaky, ragged breath leaves my chest. I look down at my hands, my knuckles whitening as I grip the leggings I was folding. “It was my fault she was even driving that day. She was on her way to pick me up from my physical therapy appointment after getting Grace from practice, because I couldn’t drive.” I look back up at her, those blue eyes searching mine. “She should have never been there. Instead, we lost her and almost lost Grace. I was there waiting to get picked up outside and saw her car get t-boned by someone that was too busy to look up from their phone.”

I’ve never said this part out loud. “So yeah, I blame myself for my mom. I’d rather be a robot than make mistakes and hurt the people I love, or worse, lose them.”

She looks at me, pure confusion and anger in her eyes. “Clay, that’s horrible. I had no idea that you were there. But also, that’s bullshit.” She stands and walks towards me with that defiant, confident stride I admire. “I mean it, that’s complete bullshit. That was not your fault, period. You can’t control everything. Some shit just happens, but that’s life.” She grabs my hands, pries my fists open and takes the leggings from me. She sets them on the dresser before holding my hands in hers.

I freeze, looking into her eyes. A moment passes where I’m lost in them and I forget everything I was tense about.

A nervous, booming laugh rumbles from my chest, catching her off guard. She looks at me like I’m crazy. “What’s so funny?”

“I just poured myself out. I relived the worst day of my life and you called bullshit on me,” I say between laughs. “Only you would do that with me. This is why I love you.”

She takes my hands, bringing them to her hips before letting go and hugging me. She breathes against my chest. “Please, don’t ever blame yourself for that again. That’s so messed up and unfair to you. ”

I drop my head to hers, resting my chin on her soft hair. “You’re right. I won’t.”

Her eyes come back to meet mine, that defiant anger there. “You have nothing to apologize for. Remind me that if I ever meet Mr. Jensen, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind for turning you into a robot. He was your mentor, your idol, and that’s just so messed up to put all that on you.”

I shake my head, laughing at the idea of her getting in his face. But my heart also burns at the idea of someone sticking up for me, something I'm not used to. “Speaking of that, you might get your chance to do that sooner than later.”

She quirks an eyebrow at me. “Care to elaborate?”

I grab my phone, showing her the calendar reminder for the company banquet. “Would you come to this dinner with me as my date? I know it’s short notice with it being next Saturday, but it’s hosted by JSC. Kayleigh should be there too. It’s a black tie thing, the whole nine yards. It’s mostly just for important customers and some investors, but-”

She cuts me off. “I’d love to be your date.” She pulls my head down, bringing her lips to mine. “Because I bet you in a tux is downright criminal and now I have another excuse to go shopping.”