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CHAPTER 29

CLAY

ALONE

Lying on the pullout sofa in the upstairs loft, I stare up at the ceiling trying to sleep. Trying being the keyword, because I can’t sleep at all knowing that Lizzy is on the other side of the wall. As much as she drove me crazy the first couple of weeks with chaos, from her stuff all over my house to her constantly pushing my buttons, suddenly I want nothing more than to have her wrapped in my arms so I can breathe her in.

I have never felt this way about someone. She consumes my thoughts. She’s not just some distraction like I originally thought. She’s so much more.

I’ve never thought about more before. More means opening myself up to getting hurt because it’s something I could lose. And the thought of losing anything I care about, something I might even love, if I’m even capable of that, makes me feel like I’m going to lose control and fall apart.

My thoughts are interrupted when a dim glow catches my eye on the end table. I lean over, checking the notification on my phone.

Princess: Come in here? Everyone’s asleep. It’ll be fine.

I look at the message and smile, glad that I’m not the only one awake with this feeling.

Me: Miss me already?

I watch three dots pop up, disappear, and reappear before her message comes through.

Princess: I could tell you… Or you could just come here and see how much I miss you.

My cock twitches and I throw the covers off in a flurry.

Yep, when it comes to Lizzy Frank, I’m a weak man.

I walk across the loft, taking careful steps to avoid hitting anything in the dark, quietly making my way to Lizzy’s room. I open the door to see her curled up in bed, the glow of her phone bathing her face in light. She smiles and I stride over to her, getting under the covers beside her.

She rolls onto her side and I pull her into me. I hear her let out a contented sigh and she wriggles her ass up against my hard cock. Even through my sweats and her flannel sleep shorts, the curve of her ass against my body sends shivers through me.

She lets out another low hum, pushing her ass against me harder. “I see you missed me too.”

“Definitely.” I rock my hips into her, suddenly wanting there to be less layers of clothing between us. I bring my mouth to her ear, breathing in that citrusy shampoo scent from her freshly washed hair. “But I’m not fucking you tonight, princess.”

She lets out an adorable, pouty huff. “Now you’re being a brat.”

I run a finger over her lips, feeling them part. “Don’t give me that. You know if I fuck you, I’ll lose control and I’ll pound you so hard into that headboard, everyone in the house will wake up and hear you calling my name.”

She whimpers in frustration and a low laugh rumbles from my chest. I run my hand down her chest, my fingertips grazing her pebbled nipples over her shirt. She pants as I reach the waistband of her shorts.

“Don’t worry. I’m still going to take care of you. ”

“Clay.” My name is a whisper on her lips. I dip my fingers under the front of her shorts, cupping her. I can feel just how much she missed me, making my throbbing cock twitch again.

“Fuck,” I rasp. “You’re so goddamn wet for me already.”

I part her wet heat with my fingers and slowly run one up and down her swollen, aching clit. This time she writhes at my touch, rocking her hips and pushing herself into my hand.

“You’re so needy for me.” I put more pressure on her clit and work my finger slower on her bundle of nerves. “If I didn’t come in here, you were going to play with yourself while thinking about me. I bet you packed a toy, didn’t you?”

“Why-” her voice is cut off by her moan when I slide in one finger and keep teasing her clit. “Why would I pack a toy when I packed you?”

I plunge my finger into her deeper and add a second, rewarding her for that compliment. I feel her walls clench on my fingers and flick my thumb back and forth over her clit. Feeling her so worked up is driving me crazy and I grind myself against her ass, desperate to feel friction on my cock.

“You’re already so close for me.” I lean down, kissing her neck, nipping under her ear. I can feel her pulse pounding on my lips and her breathy moans and whimpers drive me wild. “Let go.”

My words undo her and I feel her buck into my hand, her pussy clenching on my fingers. Knowing that I can make this sassy, snarky woman let go and lose her mind at my touch, with my words, is so damn satisfying. I dip my fingers into her, wringing every last bit of pleasure out of her, coating them in her slick wetness.

I slide my fingers out, prompting another whimper from her. She turns and nuzzles her head into my chest. Every time she does that, I feel my chest fill with pride that being that close to my heart brings her comfort. I wrap one arm around her, holding her tight against me. I take my other hand, still covered in her arousal and start stroking my cock inside my sweats.

Her eyes meet mine, hooded and lazy in her post-orgasm bliss and she kisses me. I moan into her mouth. “I can’t get enough of you.”

I’m so fucking worked up from feeling her come on my fingers that I’m almost ready to let go myself. Each stroke in my tight fist brings me that much closer.

Her eyes drop to my hand working in my sweats and she grins back at me before kissing me again, biting and tugging on my lower lip. “Good thing I can’t get enough of you either.”

I watch as she plants kiss after kiss down my stomach, trailing her fingernails between my abs sending a shiver through me. I love the way her unkept waves of blonde, not in their normal ponytail, hang over her shoulders and drag along my stomach. When she reaches my waistband, she pulls them down, freeing my hardened length. She gently grabs my wrist, humming in amusement and rubbing the back of my hand with her thumb. She brings her mouth just above my throbbing cock and swirls her tongue over the head, licking off a drop of precum.

The feeling of her wet, hot tongue unravels me.

“Fuck. I’m going to come.”

She hums and grabs my wrist, pulling my hand off my cock before she lowers her mouth onto me. I fall apart, bucking into her mouth, grabbing and fisting her hair out of the way into a ponytail, wanting to watch. She looks so good when she takes me to the base. I come hard, spilling into the back of her throat and she moans in approval, making me buck again. She slowly pulls herself off me, letting the tip of her tongue drag along my shaft before kissing the head.

She looks over her shoulder, swallowing and smirking at me before she lays her head on my chest. I tilt her chin up with my thumb, bringing her lips to mine, claiming her mouth. The fucking mouth that barely touched me and got me off. The mouth that I can’t look away from when she licks the salt off the rim of her glass or she taps one of her pink fingernails against those full, pouty lips.

I pull away, breaking the kiss to the sound of a small gasp leaving her lips. “I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake thinking about you when you texted me.” Having to be so close to her all day without being able to touch her has driven me crazy.

“I couldn’t sleep either.” She hums thoughtfully, gnawing on her lip and tracing her fingertips through my thin chest hair. Her touch feels like fire on my skin. She drapes a leg over my waist, curling herself completely into me. “Will you stay with me?”

I know she’s asking about staying in bed tonight, but part of me wishes she was asking for something else, something more, something that I find myself thinking about with her for the first time in my life.

I reach down, pulling the comforter over us.

“Of course.”

I pull her into me, rubbing the back of her neck. She yawns and her eyes flutter shut. I savor the feeling of her soft even breath on my chest as she falls asleep.

When I wake up, I take in the beautiful woman that’s upended what I thought was my simple, carefully planned life. Her blonde hair flows over the pillows around her. Her eyes open, revealing that icy shade of blue that lights me on fire. She rubs the back of her hand across them.

“What time is it?” Her voice is groggy as she yawns.

I kiss her forehead, running my thumb over her cheek. She grabs my wrist, bringing my hand to her lips and kisses my knuckles .

“It’s early. No one’s up yet. I’m going to go for my run. Go back to bed.”

She sticks out her lower lip, pouting. “Stay a bit longer?”

I hum and run my thumb over her bottom lip, pulling on it. “As much as I'd like that, I need to get out of here and make my bed before anyone else gets up.”

She huffs and bites softly on my thumb.

I laugh and lightly slap her ass. “Brat. Get your beauty sleep.”

I stand and tuck her back in. I walk around the bed, still wearing just my sweats, and I don’t miss the way her eyes follow me.

“You’re shameless,” I tease, puckering my lips blowing her a kiss. “Take a picture if you need it.”

She rolls her sleepy eyes and pulls one hand out from under the covers to flip me the bird.

I shake my head and laugh quietly. “See you later.”

I wind down my run along the Deschutes River trail, heading north back towards town and TJ’s house. I’ve been enjoying the just right spring air of the Eastern Cascade Mountains. It might be snowing up at Mount Bachelor where everyone is skiing today since it’s a few thousand feet higher in elevation, but here near town and along the river, it’s a comfortable spring day.

I think back to the last time I was in Bend, running this very trail. It was earlier in the same season that I first tore my ACL. I came here with Mom for one of my competitions. Mount Bachelor has always been known for some epic powder days and we caught one while we were here on our extra day in town. We skied lap after lap in deep powder on the backside of the mountain, loving every second of it. Thinking back on it, those laps with Mom might have been the last time I really, truly remember just skiing for the joy of skiing, not competing.

I run along the trail, thinking about that day as I see TJ’s house in the distance. I designed it after Tanner first saw my house in Utah. He introduced us on a video call and then I was hired. While I might have come up with the design, his builder did an amazing job of bringing it to life the way I hoped it would turn out.

When I get to the part of the trail that goes between his house and the river, I chuckle to myself when I see TJ already out in the water in waders, fly fishing. He might be a rockstar, but he’s got some pretty normal hobbies.

I take the side trail that heads back to his house, stopping when I see Grace in a robe walking towards me.

“Morning, big bro.” She stops and looks me up and down.

“What the hell are you doing out here in a robe at the crack of dawn?” My voice is gruff from running and still catching my breath, it probably sounds harsher than I meant it to.

She scoffs and waves me off. “Going for a cold plunge in the river.”

“You’re crazy. It might be warm out here, but that’s still fed with cold snow melt from the mountains. You know that right?”

She raises her eyebrows at me. “Duh. That’s kind of the point. Cold plunge.”

I roll my eyes at her. “Whatever. I’ll see you inside for breakfast. Don’t get pneumonia.” I start to walk past her, but she grabs my arm and stops me.

“Hey, I’m really glad you came.”

I nod. “Yeah, me too.”

She gives me a knowing grin. “She’s good for you. You look happy.”

I glare back at her and she snorts a laugh. “Don’t get mushy on me. Have fun with your cold plunge. ”

I turn and head up the side trail to the house, trying not to obsess over what my sister just said. It’s the same thing that I’ve been thinking, that I might want this thing with Lizzy to be something bigger.

I slide open the doors from the back patio and walk towards the kitchen.

I turn the corner and pause for a second, startled to find V sitting alone at the kitchen island, with an iced coffee in a plastic to-go cup.

“Jesus, V. Wasn’t expecting anyone to be up yet.”

She takes a sip of her coffee and shrugs a shoulder. “Could say the same thing about you. Not used to having someone up and around as early as me.”

I walk past her at the island to the fridge, grabbing the two cans of nitro cold brew I picked up at the store yesterday and set them out on the counter.

V gives me a curious look and I realize what I’ve just done.

“Figured she’d need her coffee if she’s going to get first chair with you guys today. Kind of forgot how militant you are about that.” I grab two pint glasses from the open shelves and pour our coffees. I tilt my chin and point to her drink. “Speaking of coffee, did you already go out and get one from Dutch Sisters up the street?”

She nods and takes another sip of her coffee. “You know me. It’s not quite as good as a Cowgirl Coffee Honey Badger, but it’s pretty close.”

“I haven’t had one of those in forever. Finch in Park City is pretty good though.”

I grab the two cold brews and head to the island, sitting down next to V. With as much time as we spent with the Perry twins growing up in Jackson, she’s always kind of been like a sibling the same way Collin is. But knowing Lizzy now, I can see why they’re such good friends.

“So what are you getting up to today? ”

“Going to take Lizzy her coffee first, then head out and fish with TJ.” I take a sip of my drink. My mind drifts off when I remember what Lizzy’s lips taste like after she’s had her morning coffee. I shake my head, trying to get my mind back on track sitting here with V. “But I’ll be around when you guys get back. I’ll definitely hang with you tonight.”

“Your sister’s nuts, dude.” TJ’s voice cuts across the sound of the rippling water in the river.

A laugh rumbles from my chest and I cast my line out into the water. “Tell me something I don’t know. She’s always trying new health trends."

“I about leapt out of my skin when she jumped off that rock over there into that swimming hole.” He tilts his head towards a large boulder and deep pool along the bank behind me.

A few minutes pass and I enjoy the sound of the water, thinking about how Tanner and I would do this with our grandpa in Jackson on the Snake River. It ran right behind the cabin that Tanner lives in now and we spent so many spring and summer days fishing.

“Glad it worked out that I was here when all of you came to town. Looking forward to showing you how the rest of the house turned out.” I turn to see him looking at me and I nod.

“Looking forward to it.” I remember what we originally talked about when we first started working on the plans. It’s a bigger version of my house with an upstairs loft plus two more bedrooms on the first floor. One of the garage bays was repurposed into a soundproof studio. I know he has other places too, like his house in Jackson .

I find myself thinking that these are massive houses for just one person, even one as wealthy as him. I think back to my house and how it just feels different with Lizzy there. I’ve loved my space, my peace, and quiet and order for so long. But the last month with Lizzy there, it just feels warmer, more like home than it ever has. From her yoga mats in the basket by the fireplace to her used coffee cup collection on my counter to her notes on my desk in my office. It all just feels right.

No, I definitely don’t think this is where I want to be ten years from now. I don’t want to be alone. For once, I don’t mind that someone is there. For once, I want someone to be there. I want her there.