Page 59 of Every Sunset

“You failed my mom too. She died, Logan! She wasn’t breathing for all the minutes it took me to get her out of the water and the time it took to resuscitate her.

She was in pain, scared, and blaming herself for all of it, and you made that worse.

You left us! You promised us you’d always be there, but you left us when we needed you!

You blamed my mom when she was already in pieces and you broke her!

” Max cried as he swiped angrily at his teary eyes.

“Max, don’t. Logan needed to be with Maddox. I get that. I’m not angry with him for that,” I argued.

“Well I am! You needed him, and he was nowhere. He didn’t even care to ask if you were alright? He didn’t even check on you when you were rushed in here! If he loves you like he said, he’d have at least acted like he cared!”

“You’re right, Max. Everything you’ve said is right.

I was a complete asshole yesterday, not just to your mom, but to you too.

I’m not trying to make excuses. I never should have behaved the way I did.

Trust me, Maddox will kick my ass for it as soon as he’s back on his feet,” Logan said.

“I just…I need you both to know that I wasn’t thinking straight, not at all.

I was lost in memories of what Maddox went through before, and terror of losing him completely this time.

He’s literally the only family I have, and have had for years now.

I can’t lose him and I…I got too caught up in that fear.

I let it take over all of my sense and reason and I abandoned the both of you when you needed me.

I’m so fucking sorry for that. Please never doubt how much I care for both of you.

I was just…I was selfish yesterday, completely and utterly, and I hate myself for that. I always will.”

“I don’t want you to feel that way, Logan.

I understand how scared you were yesterday.

I’d have been the same if anything had happened to Max.

They’re all we have. I get that completely, and I’m sure Max does too, especially after yesterday and what happened to me, right?

” I looked to Max and he reluctantly nodded.

“I never blamed you, sweetheart. I was just freaking out and I…I couldn’t be with you without him.

I said things I didn’t mean because I just n-needed you to stay at arm’s length.

I just couldn’t even contemplate being with you without Madd, and being close to you…

well. It just would have made it all so much more terrifying.

I’m so sorry for everything though. I was a complete idiot, and Maddox has told me as much too.

He’s really pissed with me for letting the both of you down.

Even if you can’t forgive me, please don’t walk away from him. He needs you.”

“And you don’t?” I asked, rather brazenly, but I had to know.

“Yes! Jesus Anna, yes! I need you too, damn it. I need you and Max in my future desperately, but I know how badly I messed up, and I’ll understand if you can’t get past that,” Loga admitted as he looked nervously between Max and I.

“Please don’t tell me I fucked everything up.

I love you both. I want you in my life, Madd and I both do.

I never meant….I just….yesterday was so messed up! ”

“Yeah, it was,” Max agreed. “You’re right about that.”

“It was a horrendous day and we all went through more than we should ever have to,” I also agreed.

“So maybe we put it behind us? Move on and try to overcome it all?” Max suggested, taking me completely by surprise. That was not what I expected him to say. I wanted to forgive Logan, but I was worried about Max’s reaction if I did. I never expected him to be willing to forgive too.

“I second that,” I agreed as I sent a grateful smile to my son, then looked to Logan and covered his trembling hand with mine. “I love you too Logan. I want to move on from this and find our future again too.”

“Max?” Logan looked to my son.

“I agree that we should move on. Yesterday was a shit show and I get why you were so messed up, but if you ever hurt my mom like that again…”

“I won’t!” Logan cut in. “I swear I won’t, Max. I learned my lesson. I almost lost everything. I won’t let that happen again, ever.”

“Then we’re good,” Max nodded.

“Thank you. I won’t let you down again, Max. I’ll keep my promise to be there for you too son, always. I know I need to prove that to you again after yesterday, but I swear I will.”

“Can we go and see Maddox now?” Max asked instead of replying to Logan’s words, but I didn’t miss the way he glanced to Logan with hope.

Logan had hurt him too yesterday and I knew it would take time for Max to let his guard down with him again, but he would, eventually.

I had faith in Logan that he would earn Max’s trust again.

“You go on ahead if you want, honey. We’ll be right behind you,” I suggested, knowing Max may want a little breather after the heavy conversation. I also wanted some time with Logan too.

Max nodded and practically fled from the table and the café. As I suspected, he obviously needed to get away to process.

“Is he okay?” Logan asked.

“It’ll take time. He trusted you, Logan. He never thought you’d turn your back on him like you did yesterday,” I told him. This needed to be said.

“I’m sorry, Anna. I never meant…”

“I know,” I cut him off. “I know you were hurting and scared and you reacted badly and I get that. I’m an adult who can forgive and forget and trust that you won’t do that to me again, but Max – he’s just a kid.

It will take him longer to forgive and he may never forget.

It will take him time to trust you again too. ”

“I’ll gain his trust back, Anna.”

“I know that too,” I nodded. “But this is your one chance, Logan. You hurt me again, I can handle it. I’ll deal with the situation at the time and we’ll go from there, but if you ever hurt my son, or give him cause to distrust you ever again, it’s over.

He’s been through enough. I can’t allow people to hurt him anymore.

Do you understand? I love you and Maddox so much, but Max will always come first for me. He has to.”

“Of course he does. We know that, Anna. I won’t let him down again, ever. I swear to you I’ll care for him and treat him like he’s my own if he gives me the chance to.” Logan pledged.

“He will. Just make sure you don’t squander it,” I warned.

“I won’t. I love you so much. Thank you for giving me another chance. I swear I won’t fuck it up again. I can’t lose you Anna. I was nothing before you came along and if you leave me now, I’ll be less than nothing.”

“Enough now,” I told him. “Let’s just start over, okay?

I love you too,” I told him as I leaned in and pecked his lips.

He lifted his hands and cupped my face between them as I tried to pull away.

He leaned closer and pressed his lips to mine again.

The kiss turned heated, but we kept it short, mindful that we were sat in a café with children close by.

“We’ll be okay, Logan. Its all in the past now.

I want us to enjoy the present, and look to the future, all four of us together. ”

“I want that too, sweetheart. The four of us together,” he agreed and a smile finally filled his tired face. “Let’s go and find the rest of our family, shall we?” he asked as he rose to his feet and held his hand out to me.

“Our family. I like the sound of that,” I told him happily as I set my hand in his.

Family. That was all I ever wanted for myself and my son.

I had tried to make the two of us a family, and we’d done okay for a long time, but there with Maddox and Logan in our lives, I finally felt like we were a part of a real family – one where my son could be as loved and protected as he deserved to be.

One where more than just me would be there to take care of and guide him as he continued to grow into a man.

And when he found his own life and moved away from me, as I once feared most, I wouldn’t be alone any more.

I’d be left with two men who I loved more than words could say, and a future we were yet to write together.

Maddox and Max were laughing together when we walked in. They both looked to Logan and I as we entered hand in hand and I was relieved when Maddox smiled even wider.

“You forgave the asshole then, baby?” he asked me.

He looked so much better than he had just the night before.

There was color in his cheeks and he was sat up on the bed, dressed in lounge shorts and a t-shirt.

Most of the wires and tubes were gone and he seemed to be only hooked up to a couple of monitors now.

“We’re moving forward,” I told Madd as I released Logan’s hand and went to him. He reached for me and I instantly pushed against his side, cuddling into him as he encircled me in his hold. “You look so much better,” I told him.

“I’m gonna be just fine. We all are. The threat’s over and gone. The FBI got their bad guy and are packing up. You forgave Logan for being a complete douche, and now here we all are. We can start planning our future now, right?”

“Right,” I agreed happily.

“Starting with our dog,” Max spoke up.

“Our dog?” I questioned.

“Yep. I asked Max what he had always wanted and he told me a dog, so we’re getting one. As soon as I get out of here we’re gonna start looking for our new family pet,” Madd explained.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked nervously.

“Yes,” Madd replied easily. “You and Max belong with Logan and I. We’re going to be a family.”

“We already are,” Logan said as he stepped forward and patted Max on the shoulder. Max looked up to him with a wobbly smile. It was progress and I’d take it. I knew it would take time for Max to fully trust Logan again, but he was trying.

“I love you, Anna, so much. I’ll never stop thanking whoever is listening that you came back to us yesterday,” Madd told me as he reached up and kissed my cheek. I turned my face and kissed his lips, just chastely, not wanting to gross Max out.

“Ditto,” I whispered as I cupped his stubble covered cheek in my hand and looked deep into his eyes. “I love you too, so much.”

Logan leaned over me and wrapped his arms around me and Madd. We all looked up to Max, who just groaned dramatically, but eventually he gave in and walked to the other side of the bed where he leaned in and wrapped his arms around us all too.

“This is so fucking cheesy,” he moaned as we all hugged.

“I think it’s perfect,” I spoke up, and I couldn’t have wiped the huge smile from my face if I tried. I was right where I wanted to be.