Page 18 of Every Sunset

ANNA

By the time I finished up my shift at the hardware store that evening, I was truly feeling the lack of sleep I had been subjecting myself to.

I was feeling even more shaky than I had been earlier, and my head was pounding relentlessly.

Thankfully, it had been quiet, as always, in the store all afternoon, and Neil seemed to have taken pity on me, giving me the easy role of simply dusting around the already immaculate shelves.

Perhaps the exhaustion was the reason I hadn’t even considered a way to get home when Logan had insisted on driving me to work earlier on, but as Neil started to lock up, and I grabbed my purse to search out my car keys, it suddenly hit me.

I had no way to get home. Walking wasn’t an option, and as Logan had told us the first day, there were no cabs that far out.

I could ask Neil to drive me, but I didn’t even know if the man had a car.

He lived above the store, so I guessed he likely didn’t really need one, and even if he did have a car, how could I put him out like that?

He barely even knew me. I was too scared to risk pissing him off and losing the only job I had managed to find so far.

I was actually considering calling my fifteen year old son to come and pick me up, when a small knock on the door had me looking up through the glass.

Maddox stood on the other side, dressed way more relaxed than I had seen him before, wearing sweats and a t-shirt that clung in all the right ways to show his impeccable body beneath.

He wore a pair of Ray Bans and there was a gentle smile on his face that instantly had me feeling heated.

There was no denying he was a spectacular looking guy, and wasn’t that just the ultimate torture for a desperately horny woman who had sworn self-imposed celibacy for the rest of her life?

“Tell them we’re closed would ya, Anna? They’ll have to come back tomorrow!” Neil called from the back.

“It’s okay. It’s just Maddox.” I finally shook myself and moved over to the door, sliding free the lock and opening it just enough to peer out.

Was I hoping the door would act as some kind of defense mechanism against the man’s hotness?

Yes! Absolutely one hundred per cent! I needed all of the help I could get.

“Hey,” I greeted lamely.

“Hey. You about finished up in there? Logan sent me to pick you up,” he explained as he leant into the doorway, getting so close to me I could smell his enticing aftershave.

It was something distinctly masculine, maybe sandalwood?

Whatever it was, it only made me even more needy for a man I barely even knew.

“Oh…uh, yeah…okay,” I floundered as I looked around me awkwardly.

“Come on then, beautiful. Logan fired up the grill for dinner. Max was helping him marinade the steaks when I left.”

I barely heard anything he said after ‘beautiful’ because he’d called me that! Had I heard him right? Why would he call me ‘beautiful?’ I wasn’t ugly, but I was also pretty far from that compliment he gave.

“Anna? Everything good?” Neil asked as he walked out from the back and looked to me and Maddox.

Thankfully that snapped me from the insane thoughts that I had been allowing to invade my mind.

Why was I freaking over being paid a compliment?

I was a grown woman, not the idiotic teenage girl I was behaving as.

For Christ’s sake – even when I was a teenage girl I acted more mature than I was right there in that moment, or any other the Easton brothers were close. I had to get a fucking grip!

“We’re all good, Neil. I just came to drive Anna home,” Maddox spoke up when I failed to do so. I really was losing my damned mind. Had I zoned out again?

“Good. Head out then. I’ll finish closing up,” Neil told me as he approached and went to press a hand to my shoulder in a fond way, I was sure.

But my brain started to freak the second I realized his intention, and I jumped out of reach and practically into Maddox.

He grabbed me, wrapping a steadying hand around my waist, which only made things worse.

I could feel the muscles in that arm wrapped around me loosely, and the rigidness of his tight body behind me. How much did this man work out?

“Sorry!” I cried as I leapt forward again, and almost into Neil this time.

Neil was studying me, and my obviously crazy reaction to the threat of his touch.

I dare not even turn to see Maddox’s reaction to the whole debacle.

“I…I’m tired…makes me a little jumpy. I sh-should go,” I babbled as I pointed a thumb behind me and tried for a smile that had to look forced and as awkward as my behavior.

I clutched my purse against my chest and pushed past Madd, out of the door and onto the street without even looking up at him.

As soon as I was outside I took deep breaths to try and calm the panic and heat raging inside of me simultaneously, and just started blindly walking.

I had to get away before I made any more of a fool of myself.

“Anna! Wait up!” Maddox called, and I heard the heavy fall of his feet on the sidewalk. “Where’re you going?” he asked with some mirth. I was clearly amusing him.

“I…I called Max. He…he’ll come to pick me up. Sorry to have put you out,” I called over my shoulder as I continued power walking down the street.

“Anna,” I felt a hand gently touch my right arm, then Maddox was beside me, easily keeping pace. “Max is back at the house, and he’s fifteen. He doesn’t even have a driver’s license,” he pointed out. When I glanced up at him there was laughter on his face.

“He…he can drive. He’s a good driver, actually,” I blurted. God, what was I doing? I sounded insane, even to my own ears. I needed to keep my mouth shut. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and it was making my instability show.

“I’m sure he is, but I’m already here. How about you just let me take you home for now, okay?

” Maddox said, as he held my arm a little tighter, bringing me to a stop beside him.

“You’re tired, Anna. My truck’s just down the street,” he added in a cajoling tone.

I took a breath and looked up to meet his eyes again.

This time all humor was gone from his face and he just looked concerned, his brow furrowed as he seemed to study me.

“Yeah,” I sighed as I forced myself to just calm down. “You’re right. Sorry. I just…I guess I am kinda tired. I’d appreciate a ride.”

“Are you good if I wrap my arm around you? I want to help you to the truck,” he asked softly, as if he feared he set of my volatility again.

“I’m okay. I can make it to the truck,” I assured him with a roll of my eyes.

“And you don’t have to tip toe around me.

I’m not actually crazy. I’m just tired and I…

I guess I kinda freaked when Neil went to touch me.

I’m not good with strangers touching me,” I admitted, desperate to form some reasonable explanation for my behavior.

“He’s your boss?”

“I don’t really know him though. He doesn’t talk much. Don’t get me wrong, he seems nice enough. I just…I don’t know him enough.”

“And me? Do you know me enough?” he asked as he turned and looked for me to follow as we started heading back the way we came.

“I’m not scared of you, if that’s what you mean. You already touched me and I didn’t freak. Hell, you’re the first person to hug me the way you did, other than Max since…well, I can’t even remember.”

I wasn’t sure I had ever been held the way Madd held me that day he cleaned up my hands.

My father certainly never hugged me. He barely tolerated me.

And there had never really been a boyfriend in my life.

I guess one of my very rare hook ups over the years may have briefly held me in the moment, but if they did it wasn’t anything memorable like the way Maddox had held me.

Or when Logan had held me that very morning.

Those hugs made me feel safety and comfort like I had never known, and I would never forget either of them.

“Then you need more. Everyone should have someone to hold them when they need it,” he told me, then before I knew it his arm was around my shoulders and pulling me into his side as we walked.

I was taken by surprise and stiff at first, but I relaxed quickly, not scared Maddox would hurt me even for a moment, which was likely fool hardy of me, but I just felt safe with him.

I wrapped my free arm around his waist and held him too.

It was a mistake to let him so close and I knew it, but he offered something I had never had before, and I wanted it too much to deny myself it.

Peace. He gave me peace when he pulled me close and surrounded me with his strength.

I felt safe, but more than that, I felt like I wasn’t drowning just for those few moments.

And I was drowning the rest of the time.

Always drowning. Always having to fight like hell to keep kicking to the surface for those short, desperate gasps of air that would allow me to survive.

I thought maybe I was born drowning. I never remembered a time in my life when I didn’t worry and fret.

Even my earliest memory was of me alone in the crumbling house.

I don’t know how long my dad had been gone on one of his benders, but I remember the feeling of knowing hunger as I tried to find a way to climb on the kitchen counter to reach cabinets for food.

As I got older my dad took his rage out on me when he lost at whatever gambling he was into at that time.

He raged at me when there was no money for his beer, and hit me if I dared to ask for money to buy food, or desperately needed clothes.

Family services had visited us several times, but they obviously saw something in my dad I never got the luxury of, and left me with him.