Page 6 of Escalating Alpha (Seraphine Thomas #18)

“I’ll explain, but I think you’re actually showing the photos?” I checked with her and Dain. “Someone gave you a selection of what could be released?” I shrugged when she seemed confused. “I came right here from work. I have crimes to solve, not unlimited time to care about who sees my arse.”

“Not all of us are as gorgeous as you are or as confident,” she praised.

“Oh, the confidence is a new thing,” I chuckled darkly. “Actually, it was a singer who helped me. She said her therapist told her to spend five minutes naked in the mirror. And it was crazy for her. All she saw was flaws and what was wrong with her and it was impossible to do the first time.”

“Yes, I’ve heard this. I know who and what you’re talking about. But over time it got easier and she started seeing the stretchmarks that gave her the son she loved so much. And the extra curves her husband praised. It was a journey.”

“It is. I used to think I was too heavy as a human—athletic but overweight. Now I look at pictures and just get upset that I was ever so mean to myself. We really are so awful to ourselves.” I snorted. “Or people are overinflated and full of themselves. There never seems to be a middle ground.”

“No, unfortunately not.” The first few pictures came up. “I could see these on Instagram.”

“That’s what several have said,” I agreed. “I really don’t use social media, but I wish I could play on Instagram to see more of the food of Chicago. Sometimes people send me links or screenshots and—a Sunday off for just looking and making a list of places to try sounds like heaven.”

“I do it in New York now and again and it is fun,” she admitted and then laughed. “Look at that cute smile. Are you blushing? You?”

I snorted. “I blush too often to be cool or as confident as people think.” I smiled then. “I haven’t seen these yet. Just the ones I took with my phone and sent.” I pointed to the one all the way on the left she was talking about. “I got stuck. I almost fell off the table because the heel was in the thong—sometimes I’m not a very graceful werewolf. People were nicely teasing me.”

She commented a bit more and we showed about twenty, a few having to blur this or that, but really not much since it was all allure and hints of more. “I’m sorry, Sera. You didn’t deserve this—being forced to have to show something private so someone else doesn’t do it is very violating.”

I thought about that and kept bobbing my head as I stared at the last group. “I think that’s what my colleagues were most worried about. That I couldn’t take being backed into another corner or something else bad happening to me.” I twisted my hand and met her worried gaze. “Or the fallout of this. Not for the FBI, but… We know what certain people will say.”

“Unfortunately. The situation is getting bad and—”

“We’re already there,” I whispered. “Someone took a hit out on me and my son.”

Everyone in the studio went silent, the tension in the large room enough to make my wolf want to squirm.

“You’re sure?” Summer asked when she recovered enough.

I nodded. “And the timing of it—I know this will give the First Lady more fuel of why I’m evil and whatever else, but—people listen when she speaks. Unfortunately.”

“She’s the reason?”

I gave a half shrug, making the gesture to back up again. “Last month she had several speaking engagements where she called me the ‘Whore of Babylon’ and ‘The Beast’ from Revelations. And if I’m The Beast… What would that make my son?” I gave her a moment with that. “Fine, he’s adopted, but people know he’s family that I adopted.

“What is the family of such an evil figure in a massive religion? What would people think of her son? ” I let out a dark chuckle. “I learned of what she was saying and was in shock, but also maybe not shocked given people just spew whatever they want and don’t care. I had to go out of town for work and handle more corruption and people hurting our citizens.”

“Sioux Falls,” she whispered.

I nodded. “I come home and I’m exhausted but get the greatest surprise of my life. My son said his first word. Mama.”

“Oh, that’s amazing!” Summer gasped.

The tears that formed were real. “I never wanted to be a mom. I thought after how my parents were so horrible and the way I grew—no way I could ever be a good mom. I couldn’t risk doing damage to kids like it was done to me. So when I learned that I was infertile because I was infected I thought—okay, this is the sign. It’s not in the plan for me.”

“You tried to make peace with it, but it hurt so much to have the choice taken away from you,” she rasped, nodding when my eyes went wide. “You are not the only one who cannot have children here, Sera. I think that’s why we got along so well. We recognize our own.”

“And how cruel people can be about it,” I commented, wiping my eyes. “The First Lady said many times when she was a senator’s wife that she was glad I couldn’t have children. That god made it so because I—people are cruel. I’ve had people tell me I’m not a real woman or half a woman.”

Summer snorted. “They were even meaner years ago when I found out. I’m twenty years older than you and it was unthinkable not to have children. I had—my own parents told me I’d be a useless spinster because I couldn’t give a good man a child.”

“I’m so sorry,” I gasped, not having to fake my horror. “People really are—how can people be so horrible? Family? I fully admit I can be nasty, but someone always starts with me first. I never just…” I shook my head.

“So he said mama?” she pushed, getting us back on track.

I let out a heavy breath. “I should have been celebrating like crazy, right? But work had to be done and then someone tells me that my name is coming up in chatter. And that’s never good.” I gave a watery chuckle. “I’m dealing with the start of all the corruption in DeKalb and that insanity, and an old contact of mine tells me someone put a hit out on me.”

“That’s terrifying,” she whispered.

“Unfortunately, it’s not the first time,” I admitted as I wiped my eyes again. “But normally, you—every other time there was a reason. Someone wanted me out of the way as Alpha. I was too close on a case. The work I did in New York City and they thought the cases would die if I did. The cartels paying me back. There’s normally a connection and fast.”

“We did a report on—the money. The money is normally the answer, right?”

“The one to punish, but if you have friends in the intelligence community—when they hear the chatter, they normally hear who wants you dead and why. Normally. This time, nothing. But the timing… I could see after bringing everything in DeKalb to light but before? I thought maybe it was something to do with Sioux Falls, but that was too fast.”

“You learned something?” she asked.

“Whispers it was because I’m evil,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck. “Who do we know that’s been saying that on a global stage?” I cleared my throat. “So I’m trying to get information from contacts while doing my jobs—all of them and my personal life. And I receive this.” I pulled out my phone and unlocked it before bringing up the picture I’d received.

The one of Topher and me that was from a higher building and of our rooftop pool.

Summer gasped when she took my phone and almost dropped it. “This is—they were—”

“Someone scouted the area and found the best ways to get me,” I rasped. “We’ve rectified those possible gaps, but that shot is no joke. That’s not some random shot or something anyone can do.” I nodded when she glanced from me to my phone. “I can’t make that shot. That’s a sniper shot. A real hitter.”

“Oh Sera,” she rasped, rubbing her chest as she handed back my phone.

“I was inconsolable. I’m holding my son—I’m a danger to him. I was a mess.”

“And then you found out he was the target too,” she muttered, hurrying to wipe a tear that fell. “How did you find that out?”

I wiggled my phone before putting it away. “I didn’t get to interrogate this guy. He wasn’t caught by us or—I’m not allowed all of the information. That’s how intelligence communities work. But it was clear I was the target and—they dug into what they had or got from his belongings. I don’t know, but today I was notified it was for me and my son, not just me.”

“How—what do you even do now?” she worried.

I chuckled darkly as more tears fell. “I called my mom. She already knew, but I told her it was for her grandson too, and she—there is no one scarier than Alena Dorcus when she’s protecting people, especially the ones she loves. Beyond that? I don’t know. Accept more security? Reevaluate my life and if this job is worth it?”

“What?” she gasped, everyone in the studio going tense again.

I wiped away the very real tears I was crying. “People are so full of hate that they didn’t just want me dead, Summer. They’re willing to kill my son—a baby . An innocent baby in all of these political games and bigotry. All I do is help people. I save people, and—I can’t let my son die because of that. I’ve bled for this country so many times that—”

“You’re one of the FBI’s most decorated agents ever and—the work you do is important, Sera.”

“So is my son ,” I said, breaking down crying. “My job is to protect him, and that I cannot fail at. I don’t care who sees me naked or what damn pictures get out. It’s all stupid compared to someone hating us so much they’d kill my son. Why can’t people see this has all gone way too far and their hate is—” I bit my lip before I said too much, trying to mop up my face.

Dain was suddenly there giving me some tissues and hugging me. He was talking to me in his language so no one besides fairies would know what he said. I didn’t understand it either, but I knew it was full of love.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry they came for him. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not, my love,” he rasped, kissing my hair. “It’s theirs. It’s their fault for—we will punish them and keep our son safe. They are unwell to hate someone who does so much good. We will keep him safe. Queen Laila sent more guards because her heart is so big—we will keep him safe. Your mother will find the culprit and make them pay.”

He said the rest in his language, and I realized he’d switched to English to make his point and give a pat on the back to Queen Laila.

It took me several minutes to calm down… And it wasn’t an act. This whole everything was too much for me.

“Sorry,” I whispered to Summer as I finished mopping up my face. “I didn’t mean to crack like that. I thought I had it together better and… Sorry.”

“Oh, Sera, I was right there with you and I barely know you,” she said gently. “My husband and I have received death threats too being news and political commentators. People don’t understand the toll it takes on us. Words are real and shouldn’t easily be brushed off. I’m always careful with what I say. But to find out it was more than real and against your son?”

“It was always me—never others really. Or others that were also involved like Chief Havers. They took a hit out on him for New York, but—he signed up for this. It’s not right, but he did— we did. My son is innocent.”

“And adorable,” she told me with a watery chuckle. “Do you really think it’s the First Lady?”

I opened my mouth but then closed it, shaking my head and trying again, back to acting. “I don’t know. The timing and hearing it’s because I’m evil is just—I work for the FBI and we don’t believe in coincidences. Everything is just so far out of hand that I had to file a lawsuit against the former Mrs. Galvin. She just won’t stop telling lies about me—lies people believe—”

“Because you don’t fight back,” she sighed.

I nodded. “And they spin out.” I decided to throw fuel on the fire. “I had someone accuse me that my son is our affair child and everything is a lie about the adoption.” I kept nodding when Summer’s eyes went too wide. “We’ve both been cleared several times that we didn’t have a relationship. We didn’t.

“There are times she swears she saw me trying to seduce her husband in DC right in front of her and I was on assignment out of the country . Undercover no less. One for months and she… It’s all gone too far and too far over the line. It’s also so sad that just because I haven’t constantly shouted back at her that there’s some validity to her lies.

“I feel bad for her kids and I’m worried if they’re safe with someone so unhinged.” I shrugged when Summer’s mouth fell open. “It’s all lies , Summer. Delusions even. I wasn’t in the country and she swears she saw me throw myself at Director Galvin. Even after seeing the proof, she says it’s all made up. It’s not. She’s unhinged and that worries me for those kids.”

“I didn’t realize there was so much that was glaringly concrete,” she whispered.

I nodded. “What’s a little irrefutable proof when there’s a good story?” I snorted. “Dain’s flying out tomorrow to handle the start in DC court. I tried to avoid humiliating her like this with everyone seeing the full proof—”

“But why should you when she won’t do the same with lies?”

“Exactly, and it keeps ramping up and spiraling out. Now with the First Lady it seems.” I wanted to circle back to that and sighed. “It seems crazy for a stay-at-home mother from the Midwest to be able to hire that kind of hitman who takes sniper shots like that. But no matter how she frames herself that way—that’s not all she is.

“She was the wife of a US senator for years. Now she’s the First Lady. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be that difficult.” I shook my head and rubbed it. “But I want to say it’s crazy. No way that could be an option against two US citizens, right? But if she truly is delusional and thinks I will bring the apocalypse… What would she do to stop that?”

“That’s a good point,” she whispered. “Or someone near her. There are a lot of powerful people with deep pockets near her.”

“Someone in my camp suggested that,” I accepted, making it clear that I was open to the truth and not just using this to attack the First Lady.

Even if I totally was.

“Either option isn’t remotely the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I see darkness every day. This situation in DeKalb with dirty cops and children stealing everything from their parents—there’s a lot of darkness in the world. It could be someone wanting to get the president reelected and I’m a loud voice against his anti-supe agenda.

“I’m the one who pointed out how his administration intentionally disrespects supes, including my family.” I hurried on when Summer opened her mouth. “They never call my family by their proper titles. It’s always Mrs. Dorcus. I’m even Ms. Thomas if not acting in my role as FBI. It’s so rude and dismissive and petty .

“And I fight against it. Others thought it was a mistake, but it’s not. It’s intentional. That’s why Iran and Bolivia won’t speak directly to the president. They won’t accept that bad behavior and no one should have to. But people want my voice out of the way to stop saying that. That I earned my spot as Alpha and that should be respected.

“That when I’m called ‘Mistress,’ it’s a position of honor because I protect vampires. I took the extra burden to protect them and have a community they can thrive in. I won’t stand by and let people dismiss that or twist it into sex games. Not when it craps on all of the vampires and wolves who work really hard to help Chicago and this country.”

“It’s really sad that’s where things are at. I didn’t know that’s how bad things were or that was going on,” Summer muttered. “People are going to ask for other confirmation.”

I shrugged. “I can give you the numbers of President Nuri and President Condori’s aides. I’m sure they’d love the chance to tell you themselves or phone into your show. My grandmother would absolutely tell you that she was recently addressed as Mrs. Dorcus instead of Matriarch Dorcus which is the proper title for an Alpha who passed on leadership.”

Summer shook her head. “The world is—if this was another country’s culture it would be all over the media and shamed as it should be.”

“But we’re just supes, Summer,” I said sadly. “Well, my son is human. Maybe someone will care that a hitman was hired to kill my human baby son at least.”

One could hope and that we hadn’t fallen into that much darkness in our country.

Unbeknownst to me, Dain had recorded the whole time in the studio—the audio at least. And he must have sent it to a few people to warn them.

One of them Enzo because my phone rang just as I got into the SUV to head home.

“Your message was received loud and clear by the council,” he told me in way of greeting. “You’re not looking to go to war with us and will even allow us to use this to the advantage of our people. It has endeared you to a few people who still weren’t your fans.”

“Always a nice outcome but yes, you got the first part right. The second was really that I just want my people protected. That’s all I want, Enzo. I want that bitch to shut up and all this madness to de-escalate.”

“You might have thrown fuel on the fire instead.”

I snorted. “Our side needs it sometimes. We hid too many years and need to start standing up to fight. Not kill in the darkness but fight back . I’m not judging the refugees, but I’m shocked Iran didn’t happen earlier and with more countries.”

“We have said the same. And yes, we will hunt and help on this. It is time to handle this situation better.”

I chuckled darkly. “How much is that going to cost me?”

He was quiet a moment. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice.

“Nothing, Seraphine,” he repeated. “Take it as our apology—my apology. I promised you my protection and help. I—Igwe was right here under my nose and I missed it. I suspected him of planning something and had my eyes on him. I’m furious I missed it. I am not a man who misses things.”

“ You’re better than most to admit that, ” I told him, switching to French. “ We felt the same here that we didn’t do more with those fucking buildings. People think I’m so paranoid and over the top, but hopefully now they will understand I’m not. Others might think it’s a good idea to take a shot from a building near mine now that I said it on TV but— ”

“Clever woman,” he chuckled. “Yes, it is a good way to take more people off the board or take out who might come after you. You do lay traps well.”

“I try my best. The problem is my son loves that damn pool.”

“I believe Elder Jezebel has a way to handle that.”

I snorted and then hurried to explain. “All of our issues and even how petty people can be and it’s so rare that we don’t use our proper respectful titles. Fine, some don’t like to call me ‘Mistress’ when I’m not a vampire. I don’t even think it’s to be mean, but it’s not their beliefs. They never just call me Ms. Thomas.”

“Yes, your current president is a petty man. I can’t say ours is much better most days, but at least he’s trying. I will let you go to handle what we should.” He cleared his throat. “You didn’t fail and it’s not your fault, Sera. It’s ours for not making the world better so all of this wasn’t on your young shoulders.”

He hung up before I could reply.

Not that I knew what I might even have said. I didn’t disagree, but I wasn’t going to poke that bear. I appreciated more people understood that they didn’t handle as much as they thought or should have done better.

I felt that all of the time about myself and I gave everything to the fight constantly.

I was glad to be home, kicking off my heels before losing my jacket next and heading to the fridge… Only to find it empty. I didn’t think much of it and simply opened the freezer.

But it was mostly empty as well. There were a few bags of frozen treats that were there for late-night snacks and frozen fruit for smoothies, but that was it. No meals. Nothing labeled and stuffed to the brim.

Not even my chocolate-covered fruit fun from the twins. I knew that though since I’d eaten it all. I’d had help, and I wanted to beat people for that because it was so good. I wanted more.

I shook off my wandering thoughts. That wasn’t the point.

When was the last time Dain stocked my fridge and freezer?

A while. Two weeks?

After thinking about it, I realized it was at least two weeks.

I chuckled. I hadn’t had to think about food in so long really that it was odd, like I was at a loss.

And it was also freeing. That sounded horribly ungrateful. I knew that. I did appreciate him always doing that for me, but when it felt like one of his chores and he never really cared about what I preferred to eat instead of what was most nutritious for me, it was more a weight on me.

I had to eat the food so I didn’t waste it. Yes, others did, and I gave it away all of the time. I snuck in other food like a kid. It was all so weird.

I knew Phobie wanted me to try talking to Dain again and let him see how mentally unhealthy it was. Address the strain it put on our relationship and how problematic it was.

I just didn’t want to be dismissed again. I’d made enough comments in passing or flat-out said I didn’t need him to meal plan for me anymore. That I got it now since I wasn’t a new wolf and I’d been good about it for a long time. Hell, I’d made a point to say how nice it was when Reagan and I cooked together or others planned our date meals with me .

Instead of for me like I was a child.

We did that for Topher. It upset me Dain never saw the difference.

I was just about to order food when there was a knock at the door. I sighed, wondering what drama there was now, but it could also be Maya asking something quick since most people didn’t come up to my hallway without texting first.

Nothing surprised me more than to find one of the ancients at my door with one of the carts the building had that the residents could use… And it was overloaded with grocery bags.

“Dain ordered Instacart but isn’t back yet,” he explained. “He asked I bring it upstairs to you.”

“Oh, thanks,” I said taking the cart. “I’ll bring this back down later.” I thanked him again and then stared at the bags.

So instead of having the chefs cook to fill my fridge and freezer with meals he’d ordered for me, Dain was now ordering groceries for me? Again, without asking me or consulting me?

I think I had a right to be miffed about that. Right?

He showed up not even ten minutes later with a smile, saying he was glad the groceries got there fine but he was sorry they arrived before he did… But lost his smile when he saw them still in bags on the cart.

And clearly, he sensed what was brewing inside of me.

He studied me carefully. “I thought it would be nice for us to cook dinner together tonight.”

“You did, huh?” I whispered, pulling out my phone and bringing up UberEats. Something hit me and I froze before slowly glancing at him. “What brought this on?”

Dain cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. “It was brought to my attention that I’m overbearing with your meal planning and treat you—it’s not the healthiest dynamic for a married couple.”

“Who told you this?” I asked, a lump forming in my throat.

He frowned. “Brian—well, most of them, but he was the one who pushed that I listen and realize that you enjoyed cooking and to experience that with you. What I’ve been doing wasn’t right and—”

“Get out,” I breathed. He didn’t hear me at first, still talking about how he’d seen the light while still making the same fucking mistake, so I repeated myself.

“What?” he asked, doing a double take. “Why are you so upset, my love?”

“I’m not your love,” I said more for myself, ignoring when he reacted like I’d slapped him. “You treat your love like a partner and equal. You treat me like a child and I’m tired of accepting this. I’ve had too rough of a fucking day.” I wiped my eyes when he froze. “Please leave before I say more, and take your fucking groceries with you.”

“I don’t understand. Why can I never do anything right by you?” His eyes went wide as he realized that was the wrong thing to say. “I’m sorry—that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t blaming you. It’s my—”

I could forgive that, and we’d all said something similar when we were upset. “You do a lot right. You do. You are—there are a lot of women who would give everything for our relationship and to be taken care of like this.” I wiped my eyes and met his confused gaze. “You are an amazing man, Dain Morton. It’s maybe just time to find a woman who—”

“Don’t,” he choked out. “Don’t say that. Please. I’m—I want to change and do this better by you.”

“But not because I told you it was what I needed or I didn’t like it. You listened when they told you. And I’m sure more than once, right? You—please, just get out. Please. Get out before I break.” I went and moved the cart into the hallway and then shoved him towards the door when he still didn’t go.

He didn’t fight me. I honestly thought he just couldn’t make himself move he was in such shock or… I didn’t know. All I sensed from him was fear, so it wasn’t he was being an asshole and not listening to me.

Not right then at least.

My mental state got worse when I realized the one person I could normally have talked about this with had betrayed me. I felt lost without Carter. He’d become such an integral part of my life that it was like missing my right arm more than a lover.

“I have so much that I’m blessed with. I have to stop hating my life,” I chastised myself.

Now if I could just believe it.