Page 10 of Escalating Alpha (Seraphine Thomas #18)

Fine, some would get annoyed that he was trying to hide his thoughts from me and almost weaponize his being in therapy against me. But I didn’t see it like that. I said snarky and shitty things about them all of the time to Phobie.

Okay, not all of the time, but I unloaded a lot. It was my safe space—which therapy was supposed to be. I wouldn’t have wanted any of them to see inside of my head when I’d been at my lowest points. After they attacked me on New Year’s Eve? Everything was a mess in my head, and I could have done irreparable damage to any of them with my thoughts.

Hell, I was a ball of anger after everything with Stacey and now Carter. I just couldn’t catch my breath too often, and I wouldn’t want any of them to see that either.

Hagan wasn’t being selfish with me and was trying to be a better partner. That was the only real takeaway and I appreciated it.

Which was why I went over by him while we were still in wolf form and got a bit flirty. I pounced on him and took off, smiling when he tried to tackle me but then flipping the plan. I licked his face and danced like a winning champion. The rest of the run was the two of us playing and pushing our limits.

When we shifted back, both of us were done and done. Like naked and panting on one of our blankets off in the corner and unable to move.

“Dress me,” I groaned.

“The moment I can feel my arms and legs,” he promised.

I turned my head the same time he did to look at me and we burst out laughing.

We got dressed and ate, but it was probably clear to everyone else that we were focused on each other and in our own little world. I checked with Reagan and Simone that they had everything in hand, both of them giving us knowing looks. I didn’t really care as long as I got to leave.

Eva just waved me off when I approached.

Nice.

We kissed and made out a bit on the drive home, my security chuckling here and there with a few comments about the full moon. Yeah, yeah, whatever, I didn’t care.

I just wanted Hagan.

“So your answer is yes, right?” he checked after we got off the elevator to my floor. “I did something right with this too? I’m a stupid man and you have to explain things to me.” He groaned when I jumped for him to catch me, wrapping my body around him.

“Yeah, the ring is on,” I told him. “And yes, you’re making sure—yes, I know where your mind was. Thank you. I need the out too sometimes to just have quiet without being all alone.”

“Okay, good, glad—”

I shut him up with a kiss and put my keys in his hand, making it clear to get us in the apartment.

He was happy to oblige, setting me on the counter once we were inside. He cupped my face and kept kissing me for several minutes before gasping for air. “Tell me what you want, Sera. Tell me what you need. You always give it to me, but I can’t see what you do, and sometimes it drives me—”

I moved my fingers over his lips but then had a cheeky idea to break the tension since he was getting upset. I spun around and slid off the counter on the other side, and, to his confusion, opened the huge extra freezer I had. I gestured up and down the empty door. “Refill this. I want my chocolate-covered fruit back. Others ate it too and I want more.”

He blinked at me for a full minute before letting out something between a laugh and a growl. He darted around the counter and pressed me up against the open freezer. “You are seriously too much, woman. I give you a blank check for any fun you want, but instead you ask for food and…” He trailed off and studied my eyes.

And probably saw a lot. It wasn’t just about the fruit. It was the care and time he’d put into it. Really paying attention to my tastes and even how they’d seduced me that night and pampered me. I’d felt special and spoiled.

When mostly I felt too torn down and walked all over.

“I really have been blind,” he whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair. “He was right.”

I hadn’t seen that response coming. “Huh?”

Hagan brushed his lips over mine. “My therapist said you’ve been telling us all along what you really want, but I just had to start paying attention. That I grew up with loving parents and could ask for what I wanted and they would try their best to give it to me. You were always turned down. It taught you not to ask—not to be vulnerable.”

“That’s fairly standard,” I mumbled, trying not to feel called out.

“I said he was wrong because you aren’t so closed off and do tell us when you need stuff. He said there was no way you always did and you had to have some sort of defense mechanism in place. That I needed to look for it.”

I didn’t brush him off or deny it. “Sarcasm and being a smart ass is my first language.”

“I think it’s charming, and I’m glad I’m finally paying attention better.” He gave me another kiss. “I’m also jealous that Reagan has a term of endearment for you. My wolf really doesn’t like it but isn’t pushing for us to be sirened. I don’t get it but just so you know. I didn’t want to give you one because I was jealous.”

“And now?”

“I want to call you my sexy little fruit tart.” His eyes went wide at whatever he got off me.

Mostly that I didn’t hate it. I hurried to change the topic. “If I’m getting my chocolate-covered fruit, then all I really have is a blank check back for you.” I ducked under his arm, ignoring when he asked me what that meant. I undressed on the way and was naked when I reached the far back bedroom that was now sort of a play room.

The naughty kind.

I had my wrists locked up overhead by the time he caught up, and the way he moaned probably echoed throughout the building. “Let’s see what you’ve learned in therapy, huh? Sharing is caring?” I cleared my throat when he frowned. “Sorry, I wasn’t mocking it. I mean, I’m in therapy too.”

His eyes snapped to mine. “No, yeah, I get it. I was just thinking I wish that I’d had more sessions so I could keep this act up. I’m just drawing a blank and my dick is too hard to think.”

I laughed. That was such a Hagan answer. I gave a half shrug. “Well, then just do with me what you want.”

He licked his lips. “I want to do a lot , fruit tart. And the full moon is kinda riding me hard.”

“Could you ride me hard too?” I whimpered, actually and totally meaning it. I moaned when he nodded and slowly peeled off his shirt for me. Hagan’s body was so damn sexy. He was six-five and muscular, his pecs and arms always immediately drawing my attention with their implied strength.

He didn’t grow out his auburn hair like Reagan did. He liked it shorter and—not quite a mop cute, but cute like that. He would put gel in and style it for functions, but just for every day it was sexy adorable and a very hometown QB look. His gray eyes were full of heat as he moved closer and licked my nipple.

Then he turned and showed me his back, flexing a bit but not like poses and being a twit. No, it was more reaching and stretching on the doorframe and adjusting his back like he was preparing to give me his best performance.

Except then he walked out of the room.

Huh?

“I can get out of these and beat your ass,” I reminded him, rolling my eyes when he just laughed.

“I’m getting snacks,” he called back.

“I thought I was the damn snack,” I grumbled, standing there like an idiot and cooling off as I did.

He appeared in the doorway with a smirk. “You’re not a snack, Sera. You’re a fucking buffet. An all-you-can-eat buffet I want to stuff myself silly on.”

Damn, that was good.

And his idea of “snacks?” Yeah, that was everything he could eat off of me. Hagan set up a folding tray table and brought it all out, even asking where the Siren’s Kiss freebies and stuff were that I never used.

Well, not never but definitely not often enough.

He smothered caramel all over my breasts and something that smelled strawberry on my pussy. Then chocolate whatever on my ass that was warm and made me squirm. The smirk on his face made me shiver as he shook up the whipped cream that somehow always ended up in my fridge even if I never got it.

I normally mocked it and someone always replied with the excuse that it was for coffee or if I wanted to feel fancy for a weekend latte. No, it was usually eaten off me.

Actually... Why did I not have a shelf of it then? Maybe I did get in my own way sometimes.

Most times.

He started with my pussy and then focused on my breasts, growling when he went to kneel again. “Who fucking needs ice cream. You’re my sundae of choice.”

Yes. Please.

My first orgasm was unreal and exactly what I needed. This playful fun and just letting go—feeling we were on the same page and… Nothing complicated. It was great.

He was kissing along my neck when I recovered, smiling at me like he was happy too. “Axel is asking if he can come enjoy the fun or if this is wolf-only time.”

“I just thought it was our time,” I replied honestly.

He gave a shrug. “I’m fine with it. He doesn’t take over and push me out.” He smirked at me. “Plus, you love his cat tongue.”

I really, really did.

Axel just groaned when he came over and saw what we were up to. “I knew it would be good and worthy of being pushy. Yeah, I owe you one or five for sharing and letting me in.”

“Get eating then,” Hagan teased.

I got wet watching Axel practically tear off his tank top. His black hair was shoulder-length now and he quickly threw it up while his gorgeous iridescent blue-green tiger eyes kept my gaze. He was almost seven feet and fucking ripped. Like there wasn’t any way to describe Axel besides massive.

And not to sound cringy, but that was true in all areas.

He didn’t just kneel and eat, but he actually warned me to grasp onto the chains and then lifted me to sit on his face. I moaned as he went crazy while my thighs were on his shoulders. I gasped when a tongue pushed into my ass and realized Hagan was behind me getting in on the fun.

“What’s the game plan?” Axel asked after I finished. “Get her a bit dirtier and then move to her shower to clean her up so we can start again?”

“Yeah, sounds good to me,” Hagan chuckled. He moved his hands over my body as Axel set me back on my feet. Then he plunged into my body from behind while Axel just smirked at the shock on my face. Clearly, he’d seen what was going on and had probably been trying to distract me from Hagan taking off his pants.

Maybe? I wasn’t sure, but I just wanted what was offered.

I hung onto the chains while Hagan plowed me and Axel teased my body. They lavished me with praise and talked about what else they wanted to do to me.

Everything. The short version was they wanted to do everything to me.

I came with a scream, not even having realized that I was close. Hagan brought me once more before finishing deep inside of me with a grunt, fisting my hair as he did.

He turned my head to kiss him, smirking at how affected I was. “How do you want him to fuck you next, fruit tart?”

“What do you want?” I asked instead.

He thought about it a moment before kissing me again. “I like seeing you fucked against the wall. You really like that angle when they’re much taller than you and—I like that.”

I was shocked he’d realized that because I wasn’t even sure I had.

But he was right. I did really like that with Axel and a few of the taller ancients—people I’d had flings with.

I’d been looking forward to it with the stupid dire wolf.

“Good, because the restraints cut her wrist,” Axel said as he released me.

“I know, I smelled the blood,” Hagan replied, kissing my temple and neck as he pulled out of me. “Feed and heal, Sera.”

I did, feeling him finish a little more on me and smirking at him this time. “Marking me as yours?”

He snorted. “You are mine. I don’t need to mark you to prove that.”

“But you want to, right?” Axel asked him.

Hagan gave him a look not to be stupid. “I’m a wolf. Of course I do. Constantly. I’m not really into it as a man. I mean sometimes but—”

I kissed him when I felt him get flustered. I turned and leaned against him for support as I kissed him.

Then I was plastered against the wall and fucked by my ridiculously strong tiger. He looked almost feral each time he thrust up into me.

“Too much,” I whimpered.

“Too much or it hurts?” Hagan checked.

“Too much,” I gasped, not able to get enough air in my lungs to say more.

“Then finish on my cock,” Axel snarled. “Finish hard and I’ll give you a break.”

I did. The damn man really did know the cheat codes to my body or however I’d heard women say it. He could get my body to do things that others couldn’t and I fucking loved it.

I loved sex with my tiger.

“Bend me over the bathroom counter while Hagan warms up the shower,” I panted, giving him a knowing look that he didn’t finish.

He sighed. “I get too wound up. It’s a tiger shifter thing so we don’t spread our seed around too often. Over half of the women I’ve been with I’ve never finished with. I do with my hand after I wear them out.”

“So I’m so good that you can, but it takes a while?” I asked, not sure how to take that.

He snorted. “Sera, you’re the only woman I’ve always finished with and it would be faster, but I get in my own head sometimes. Most times.”

Fair enough because I did the same. Always.

He moved us so I was facing the mirror—my hands on it even—and could see each other that way. Plus, he got to see my body more while he screwed me. Axel was transfixed watching my tits bounce all over, clearly liking them—seeing that… Whatever.

Too bad it made them ache pretty fast.

I collapsed to the counter when we both finished that time, my whole body out of commission after that. Well… For the moment.

Hagan chuckled as he came and collected me while Axel recovered. “That looked fun.”

I searched his eyes. “You really haven’t ever gotten jealous that someone can fuck me harder or faster than you—have you?”

“No, because that’s not what you always want.” He shrugged. “What you said with that potion stung—or after really—whatever. It doesn’t matter when. What matters is I realized I’m fine with being the sex you want when you want comfort. Or not wild. Normal? I’m not saying this right.”

“No, I speak Hagan,” I promised. “I get it.” I opened my mouth but then closed it. “I can’t picture it. I can’t ever think of sharing any of you. Flings or fun we experience together, but I would be destroyed if you went back to someone.”

He nodded and reached for the shampoo, knowing I liked to work head to toe. “This is going to sound way more dismissive than I mean it, but I had a good childhood.”

“Wait, I even get what you mean, but do not say it that way, man,” Axel interjected as he came into the shower.

“I was going to say that I also grew up where this type of relationship was accepted,” Hagan continued. “We all knew someone or one person had a few mates in a pack—it happens and at times not with sirens. Or—my aunt had her mate, but there was a guy that was her regular moon mate.”

“You never talk about your extended family,” I hedged.

He nodded. “They moved after we went into the Marines. I didn’t get it then, but they saw the signs of the pack going to shit.” He swallowed loudly.

“Oh, someone’s about to be in trouble,” Axel chuckled darkly.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine,” I interjected when Hagan shot Axel a shit look. “You didn’t want to burden me. I know you well enough to know that. We’re drowning in—just tell me where.”

“Columbus,” he mumbled.

The pack we had a problem with in Ohio.

The asshole who beat up his mate and kids and was warned to stop in very strong language or he’d end up dead. Dain had given her his card and how to contact him. He was getting regular updates, and he didn’t like what he heard, but… We were drowning.

I couldn’t keep saving people if it meant we all sank in the end.

I studied Hagan’s eyes. “There’s more.”

“My aunt and uncle started calling a few months ago saying you should take over and name my cousin as Alpha,” he confessed. “They’ve been giving Reagan shit—were for weeks before they tried me.”

“And?” Axel pushed.

“My cousin himself called last week saying that no one has seen the Alpha’s mate and kids for weeks. They’ve skipped two full moon gatherings and the Alpha told everyone to mind their business.”

“I really wish Melicent had taken that road trip and handled some people,” I grumbled.

“Yeah, except you’d have the mess to clean up, Sera. We couldn’t—we can’t,” Hagan said.

“Would your cousin really be…” I nodded at what I got off of him.

“I can’t say he would be a bad Alpha or he’s not qualified for the gig,” he clarified. “He’s like ten years older than us and was kind of an ass when our parents died, but we hated everyone. I never really liked him but again, different age group.”

“What did your parents think of him? They were good judges of character?” I asked as he focused back on showering me… Which I was all about.

“That he was a lazy, entitled dipshit basically,” Hagan said with a sigh. “But that was so long ago. He could have changed. Reagan’s just pissed that they never really reached out to us while we were in the Marines and now they call? Never invited us to come for the holidays or when we were on leave. It was like they moved on and it was done. Mom would be crushed at that.”

“So they reached out when you came back? Congratulated you on becoming Betas of their old pack? Anything before just ‘asking’ for help and probably laying all the guilt trips down?”

“You’ve nailed it pretty well,” he chuckled darkly. “Reagan’s struggling. He’s two seconds from driving there and reaming them about being so selfish when they basically forgot Mom by cutting her kids loose. They can’t play the family card now that we’re useful. But he’s this pack’s Beta, so it’s not easy.”

“No, nothing ever is,” I mumbled. I gave him a soft kiss. “I’m not mad, and thank you for not burdening me when I was—”

“Am,” he corrected.

I could accept that. “Am struggling with my own family bullshit.” It was clearly enough on the topic for the moment.

We got back to the fun and were all tired out in the end, but my mind kept circling back to the conversation. It killed me that there was so much crazy always going on that I couldn’t be there for something simple like overbearing family for the twins when they needed it.

But there wasn’t a ball I could drop. What part could I let go or step back from?

None. It was always the same answer.

I could only do it better, which I really thought I was doing with Mauro now. I hoped it was the answer. But clearly, I had to go to Ohio and see what was really going on.