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W illiam looked from one of his friends to the other, back and forth, hoping that this was going to be a joke somehow. And also, deeply and passionately hoping that it wasn’t.

They were right. He could no longer deny it—not to them and not to himself.

He was in love with Arabella.

Of course, he was. It was the only thing that made sense. How else could he ever have allowed himself to be so passionately moved by her? He was sitting here at his wits’ end because he loved her. It was the only thing that made sense.

He wasn’t upset with her because she was concerned about appearance.

That was a sensible worry, if he was honest with himself, because gossip had ruled her life from the moment she had entered society.

And besides, even if she had been worrying needlessly, there was no reason for him to become angry about it.

That wasn’t the kind of thing that ordinarily bothered him at all.

He should have laughed it off. He should have put an arm around her and told her that her fears were unfounded, but that he understood.

He should have found a way to cheer her up.

Why hadn’t he done those things if they were so obvious?

Because she hurt me .

The thought was a sudden sharp shock, but he knew it was true.

She’d had no interest in a child with him. She hadn’t wanted to marry him at all, much less have a conventional sort of marriage. And now, she was changing her mind, not because of any feelings she’d developed for him but because she was afraid of what people would think about her.

If she had wanted to redefine the terms of the marriage for a reason that had anything to do with William, he thought he might have considered it. He might even have welcomed it. That kiss they’d shared had not left his head for a moment. Of course, he wanted more.

But that wasn’t what she was asking for. She wasn’t interested in him on those terms. She wanted to be the perfect duchess. She probably didn’t even care who she was married to. What she wanted was someone who could protect her reputation, someone who could provide for her family.

The most infuriating thing of all was that she had never made any secret of that fact. She had told him right from the start what mattered to her. He could hardly be angry with her because she hadn’t changed her mind when he had.

“You didn’t realize,” Matthew said gently, watching him. “You really didn’t know. I thought you were just being stubborn about it.”

“He was being stubborn,” James said. “He would have understood a lot sooner if he had been willing to admit the truth to himself. But you and I know firsthand how difficult that can be.”

“That’s true,” Matthew agreed. “I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that there was something real between Cressida and myself for a long time.

It was hard to accept that I’d allowed myself to fall in love in spite of my best intentions.

But now that it’s happened, I couldn’t possibly be happier.

That could be you, William. You could be happy with your wife if you simply allowed yourself to have that. ”

“No, I couldn’t,” William countered. “Your situation and mine couldn’t be more different, Matthew.”

“What makes you say so?”

“The simple fact that your wife returns your affections! It’s all very well to be in love with someone who loves you in return. It’s very different for me.”

“You don’t believe she feels the same way you do?” James asked.

“If she did, we wouldn’t be having all these conversations about how important it is to make a good impression upon society. She would tell me she wanted more out of our marriage because it was what she wanted , not because she thought it was what we ought to be doing.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” James said. “But, you know, unless I miss my guess, you haven’t told her how you feel about her. What makes you so sure she would tell you how she feels about you? Maybe she didn’t feel secure enough to do that.”

“Or maybe she doesn’t know what she feels,” Matthew added. “You didn’t know until just now, after all, William, so it’s possible that she doesn’t know either, isn’t it? Maybe she has yet to figure it out.”

“Well, what am I meant to do?” William asked.

“Go back home and ask her if she loves me?” The idea of it was enough to make him wince.

Surely, she would tell him no. He knew Arabella well enough to be sure she wouldn’t laugh at him or mock him, but she would pity him, and that would be so much worse.

He wouldn’t be able to bear it. “It would be better to set the whole thing aside,” he said.

“Better to forget I ever had these feelings. I’m sure I can overcome them in due time, and I won’t have to worry about it anymore.

Now that I understand what ails me, it should be easy to move beyond it. ”

“Oh, William,” James sighed. “Why do you do these things to yourself? You’re married to Arabella. You’ve just admitted that you love her. This should be a good thing for you. A good day. You find ways to make trouble for yourself, but truly, there is no trouble in being in love with your wife!”

But William couldn’t agree with that. The sheer humiliation of it! How could he possibly have the conversation they were suggesting with Arabella? No, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was too much to ask of him—too much to ask of anyone.

“You’re not going to talk to her, are you?” Matthew asked, watching him closely.

“It would be too embarrassing. I couldn’t possibly.”

“And since when did you care about making a fool of yourself?” James asked.

“You’ve always been willing to do whatever it took to get what you wanted in life, William.

You’ve always been bold and audacious, never one to bend to what society expected of you.

That was why you married her in the first place—because you were determined to thwart expectations.

Now you’re telling us that you don’t have the courage to face a little embarrassment? ”

“Don’t mock him,” Matthew said. “You know it’s different, James.

We’re talking about embarrassment at the hands of the woman he loves.

He’s always been able to face the ridicule of society because he doesn’t care about what they think.

He was able to marry someone his father wouldn’t have liked because he doesn’t crave his father’s approval.

You know as well as I how different it is when you find yourself in love.

You know how much he aches for her good opinion. ”

It rankled to hear himself described that way—aching for anyone’s good opinion—and the worst thing about it was that Matthew was completely right.

He’d spotted the problem perfectly. William did care what Arabella thought of him.

That was exactly what made all this so painful—the knowledge that he might go home, tell her what was on his mind, and cause her to think less of him because of it.

“The stakes feel high to you because it will hurt you if she doesn’t feel the same way you do,” James said. “Isn’t that right?”

William nodded, feeling positively ashamed. “I shouldn’t be so weak.”

“That isn’t a weakness. I wish you could see that,” James said. “Wanting your wife to care for you… there’s strength in admitting it to yourself. Admitting it to her would require even more strength if you think you have it in you.”

“It’s too late now anyway,” William said.

“What do you mean? Why is it too late?”

“I was so harsh with her. I pushed her away,” William said.

He remembered the look on her face when they had argued—how shocked and upset she had been.

“I can’t go back there now and tell her that I was actually in love with her the whole time.

She probably wouldn’t even believe me after the way I acted toward her. ”

“Oh, no. How did you act?”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly thoughtful.”

James groaned. “Of course, you weren’t.”

“It’s not beyond saving,” Matthew said. “You’ll just have to do something to win her back, that’s all. You’ll have to do something to show her you know that you were in the wrong and that she does matter to you.”

William shook his head. “I don’t know how to do that with her,” he said. “Every time I’ve tried, I’ve been wrong. She won’t accept gifts from me.”

“No one said anything about gifts,” Matthew said. “It’s true, a fine present is a good way to show a lady you regret something you did, but that isn’t the only answer, and if she isn’t fond of gifts, as you say, then there must be another way you can show her you care.”

“I don’t know,” William said. “I don’t know what to do.” He tried to think. What did Arabella like? What could he do for her that would show her he cared, that his attentions were sincere? That he really did want her around, and that he would consider giving her anything she wanted in life?

Was that true? He probed his thoughts for a moment. What if she told him she wanted a child? He wouldn’t do it for the sake of appearances. But if she convinced him that her desire to be a mother was as sincere as his desire for her? Would he do it then?

He was startled to find that it wasn’t even a question.

He would give her anything she wanted.

How could I have failed to see that I’m in love with this woman? How could I not have known?

He would never forgive himself, he thought, for having taken this long to make the connection.

He would never accept the fact that he’d wasted all this time, that he had been so hard on her and pushed her away as he had.

If he had understood his feelings for her sooner, he could have had her by his side.

Instead of sitting here drinking scotch with his friends, he could have been?—

The idea burst into his head as if it had been there all along, waiting for him to find it. “I know what I need to do,” he said, rising to his feet.

“What are you going to do?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to stay and explain his thoughts. Not right now. He wanted to get home and put them into action.

He downed the remains of his scotch. “Thank you for the conversation,” he said to both of them. “You can keep the rest of the bottle.”

“Well, at least we know he isn’t going off somewhere to drink himself into oblivion,” James murmured, looking at Matthew.

Matthew shrugged. “I guess we’re going to find out eventually.

Whatever it is, William, I hope it works out for you.

Truly. You must know that we both want you to be happy.

We believe you can have that with Arabella.

But you’ve got to find a way to communicate with her.

You’re going to have to tell her how you feel. ”

Those words rang in William’s head the whole way home.

He was sure his friends were correct. He was going to have to find a way to open up to Arabella, to tell her everything that had been on his mind.

She deserved to know. More than that, if he failed to tell her, he would never be able to expect her to understand.

He would never find out if she could return his feelings.

He felt as if he was standing at the edge of a precipice. It seemed as though his whole life would be decided, one way or another, over the next few days. And that was a terrifying thought.