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“ Y ou seem distant,” Arabella told William.

He looked up from the chess board. They had engaged in one of their usual games—it was a practice that had become regular over the last few weeks. But today, things didn’t feel normal to Arabella. It felt to her as though he was miles away.

She didn’t enjoy that feeling, especially after what had happened at the garden party. The kiss lingered in her mind. It had been so beautiful while it was happening. She’d felt more sure of him in that moment than she had ever felt of anything in her life.

Now, though, she had cause to wonder if she had imagined it all. Could she have imagined it all?

She tried to recall the sensations. The warm pressure of his lips on hers. The way his big, strong arms had cradled her body, making her feel like his possession. That had been so powerful—so safe .

But maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe it hadn’t been the way she was remembering it at all. Maybe it had been nothing more than a flight of fancy for him, a quickly stolen kiss in the heat of the moment.

If nothing else, it means he thinks I’m attractive. It has to mean that.

But she had never doubted that. Though she wasn’t used to thinking of herself in those terms, he had remarked on her appearance often enough to let her know that he did admire her looks. She had even questioned whether her looks might not be the reason he’d chosen to marry her in the first place.

And now, this kiss.

“It’s your move,” William told her, as if that was a response to the accusation she’d leveled at him. As if he was trying to claim that he was being distant simply because it wasn’t his turn.

Arabella moved a pawn quickly without bothering to examine the board. If that was how he was going to be, if he wasn’t going to talk to her while it was her turn to play, then she would simply end the game.

He raised his eyebrows at her then moved his knight. “Not up to your usual standards today. That’s check.”

“I don’t want to play chess,” she told him.

“You want to quit because I’m winning?”

“Don’t be rude. I want to quit because you aren’t talking to me, and I wish to have a conversation with my husband—particularly after everything that happened between the two of us at the garden party. Although I’m beginning to think you may have simply decided never to address any of it!”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Was the kiss less than satisfactory?”

She felt heat in her face. “You know perfectly well that isn’t the problem.”

“I would love some elucidation on what you believe the problem is.”

She rose to her feet. “If you’re determined to speak to me as if—as if I’m a fool, then perhaps it’s best if we don’t talk!” She turned, ready to leave the room.

“Wait,” he said. “Arabella—sit down.”

Arabella turned back, but she did not sit. She folded her arms across her chest and waited for his explanation.

“I’m sorry,” he told her. “You’re right. I have been distant since—since the garden party.”

“Since you kissed me,” she corrected him. “You ought to be able to name it since you were able to do it.”

“All right, I kissed you.”

She was beginning to rile him. But then, she’d intended to do that.

She liked the idea that she could get under his skin.

The whole problem, as she saw it, was that he wasn’t affected enough by her.

That he could kiss her and simply turn away—that troubled her, and she wanted to make him take notice.

“So why?” she asked him, folding her arms across her chest. “Why did you do it? Why did you kiss me? Because it seems clear to me now that you regret having done so.”

“Do I?” His eyebrows lifted.

She was tired of being teased. “I don’t know why you can’t just speak honestly with me, William.

This has been the thing that’s plagued me most about you from the day we met!

Every time I think I understand you, you say something else, some twisted thing that proves I never understood at all.

When you kissed me in the garden, I thought I knew something about you—about us .

I thought it meant you felt differently about me than I had realized. ”

He had the grace to look away from her.

“Now I know I was wrong to assume that,” she went on. “I should never have guessed that you cared for me. Of course, you don’t care for me. A man like you probably doesn’t care for anyone at all.”

His head jerked up.

“Don’t speak to me that way,” he said, his voice low, and Arabella could see that she had gotten to him at last.

He rose slowly to his feet. She forced herself to remain where she was, not to take so much as a step backward away from him. It was difficult to hold her ground. He could be so imposing, especially when he had that angry glower on his face.

He’s always so kind to me. So kind that when the kindness stopped, when it turned to anger, it was like having a bucket of ice water poured over her head. It was shocking and difficult to process. She took a deep breath and steadied herself.

“You don’t know me,” he told her. “You don’t know what I care for. You don’t know how I feel about things. To say that I don’t care for anyone at all… you’ve crossed the line, Arabella.”

“I—” A shiver went through her. He was probably right. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. But it’s just that…”

“Stop,” he insisted. “I don’t know what you’re going to say now, but I don’t want to hear it. Maybe you were right. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“I didn’t say that,” she whispered.

“You said you thought I regretted it. Well, maybe I ought to regret it. Maybe it was a bad idea if a moment like that has only served to convince you of how heartless I am.”

“William, you’ve barely spoken to me since it happened. What am I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to realize that things of this nature are complicated, Arabella. But perhaps that’s too much for me to ask of you.”

“Oh, stop it,” she said. “You don’t think I know it’s complicated?

You don’t think everything has been unbearably complicated for me since that moment in the library?

You came to marry me without even telling me why you chose to do that.

You and I both know that you didn’t have to, and yet no matter how many times I raise the question, you won’t explain your decision to me. ”

“I don’t have to explain everything I do to you,” he told her.

“You don’t have to explain anything at all as you’ve made abundantly clear.

” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her tone.

“Still, I would think that you might at least consider doing so since I am your wife. Some days you speak to me as if you think that role is meaningful. You say you want to shower me with gifts. You kiss me in the garden. You say that I ought to have everything I want. And yet, as soon as I have the audacity to ask you a question, everything changes. I’ve overstepped, you tell me.

I believe you want me to be happy, William.

But only as long as it doesn’t inconvenience you . ”

She turned and rushed from the room without giving him a chance to answer her.

Her heart was pounding madly, and though she tried to calm herself down, by the time she had reached her bedchamber, she was only more distraught.

Polly was there, tending the fire. She jumped to her feet as Arabella came in, taking in her flushed cheeks and the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes.

“Your Grace,” she gasped. “What is it? Has something happened?”

“Oh—Polly—” Arabella fought a moment to regain her composure, but then she gave it up and let the tears come.

Polly was at her side in an instant, helping her to sit down on the bed. Arabella allowed it. It felt wonderful to relax and be tended to, even though she wished that it was another set of hands doing the tending.

I’ve fallen in love with him , she realized ruefully. In spite of my determination not to, in spite of his transparency that this wasn’t going to be that kind of marriage, I’ve allowed myself to develop feelings for my husband .

It was agonizing.

“Would you like me to bring you something?” Polly asked. “Some tea, perhaps? Those biscuits you like?”

“That—yes, that would be lovely.” It would give her something to do besides wallow in her feelings. She knew she needed to try to climb her way out of this misery. It wouldn’t do to hang around being distraught over something she could never have.

She thought again of the moments that had led her here.

The way he had opened up to her on the dance floor at the ball. What had she been meant to make of that? Was she not supposed to see it as an indication that his feelings for her were beginning to shift? That he had come to view her as a trusted confidante if nothing else?

And then he had pulled away from her. She had needed to pursue him then, to draw him back to her—just as she’d needed to do this time, following the kiss they had shared.

There was only one conclusion she could draw from that pattern.

He really did regret lowering his guard with her. Every time he allowed her to get closer, he found himself pulling back. Wishing he hadn’t done it and correcting his mistake.

It’s me. I’m the mistake .

Whatever his reasons for marrying her had been, they had had nothing to do with any feelings for her. And he had told her as much, so she really couldn’t complain, couldn’t say that she hadn’t been warned that this was what her life would be.

I still don’t have to be happy about it. I was never given any choices!

The thought took hold deep within her, and for the first time, she allowed herself to feel truly bitter about the hand she’d been dealt.

How could everything have been so unfair?

She had spent her life making sure her sisters were provided for.

That was a task that should have fallen to her parents, but they had been too negligent to see it done.

They also should have been providing for me.

She should have been able to hope for a marriage based on love.

She should have had the opportunity to be courted instead of marrying the first gentleman who had made her an offer.

She should have had something to wear that wasn’t falling apart so that she wouldn’t have been caught in that compromising position in the library in the first place.

She never allowed herself to feel any resentment over the hand she had been dealt.

Resentment did you no favors. It was pointless to dwell on things you wished were different if you had no control over them—the only thing that made any sense was to simply move forward in life and make the best of things.

But right now, that was hard. Because Arabella found herself shackled to a man who countered any step forward with two steps back, and it seemed to her that she had no hope at all of transforming this life into one that would make her happy.